Setback help!

[Gonzales08]

Ok so I'm in need of some answers today would be my fourth day of of doing 30mgs a day of roxys been doing for a whole year. My withdrawals were so bad today I couldn't possibly handle it anymore! I did this cold turkey. We'll I ended up doing 5mgs of roxy! Will that start my withdrawals all over again?? Will I  feel like this tomorrow?? Someone please answer me!?!

[dedicatedtostop]

Your body is healing. Make sure to stay hydrated since going to the bathroom can dehydrate your body! I am very very happy to hear this! I personally believe addiction is a spiritual battle! Put on the armor and suit up as we were told. It's you against the Devil and your winning this battle!! I think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. I can tell in your post. Make sure you do the research on aftercare. Use the link I sent you and get a plan in place to attend a meeting.... With your bf!

[Gonzales08]

Thanks and me two I've need been so excited to get off something and change my life and my boyfriends. We're planning on starting to go back to church. We we're both at one point serving god and te. Back slide for loving things of the world and I know that will help a lot too!

So my day alone is going slow but I did mange to get about 30 minutes of sleep In just woke up but I'm starting to thing that just that 5mg of oxy I did the other day dd set me back or my body is just really slow at cleaning itself out because I woke up with my stomach on fire and barely made it to the bathroom n it's been now stop now. Hoping it slows up some or there will be nothin left down there to even wipe! Not to mention I'm become really low on tp!

[dedicatedtostop]

Great news!!!!!! I AM SO HAPPY TO READ THIS!! I agree w frogger... Try to get some sort of aftercare in place. It sounds like you have some time alone now. Start googling meetings. IBK have me this link ( god rest her beautiful soul ) http://www.na.org/meetingsearch/

Start there, the link will provide you with several meetings in your area. Please keep us posted. I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!

[Frogger76]

That's good news! Sounds like he has s plan in place, that's very important. Encourage him to stick to it. Have the two of you discussed any plans for some sort of aftercare, meetings, counseling, etc??  I hope your doing better today, each day from here on out will be a lot better than the day before.  Good luck to ya both...

[Gonzales08]

Yes today is his first day without. He's having his dad mange his money for him and he deleted all contacts this morning. He threw out EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HIS HABIT! I told him last night that I don't wanna force him to get off because u can't help someone who don't want to be helped but I told him that if there is t a change I would have to go stay a couple weeks at my moms. I've never seen a man cry so much to wanna make a change. He told me things that the whole year of us being together I never knew he felt..when it came to his addiction. He told me he loves us way more than pills and that he would have gotten off as soon as I said something but I was adding the addition along with him instead of trying to make a change. He told me if he slips up that he already spoke with his dad and that if he can't do it at home he was gonna go to a rehab for however long he needed too n that whatever it takes he will do. I kinda blame myself though because I kept a lot of stuff inside like not telling him how I truly felt about me doing this alone n that I loved him but he could be a temptation because I didn't wanna hurt him, (he's kinda the sensitive type) we're also looking into going to some classes to help us. Though y'all have been so supportive I feel like I'm not alone and that I have many supporters because before y'all I really didn't all I had was my boyfriend. No one else in my family or his knows that I even did anything. His family knew he did though.

[dedicatedtostop]

Oh I remember crying like a maniac and if I remember correctly it was Day 5! I cried sending my oldest off as a freshman at a NEW school on Day 2! THAT was hard but I made it and so will you! If your not having those symptoms then that's great for you!!!! Everyone is different. As far as appetite, your young and likely have a very high metabolism. Wish I was 23 again. I am 33:)

I am here if you need someone to talk to.

It's Wonderful that your bf is doing so much to support you but  let's talk about what your going to do with his usage?? Do you have a plan? Has he came to you with his own personal plan and desire to quit? Is toddy the day for him? I hope you know that I am not trying to be mean at all! I care about your sobriety and I only want to help you! I am legitimately concerned about you even being around an addict yet alone living with one! If you want this long term then there MUST be change and he has to be willing to do so.
Have you asked him to join the forum?

I understand that he is helping you by cleaning and being supportive but sadly, that's not enough! If he loves you and he wants to better all of you, your son included, then he must stop NOW! And... You need to remember that right now, it's all about YOU! YOUr sobriety and your son. He needs to jump on board or you need to consider parting ways. Yesterday you said today he was going ct... Is he??

[Gonzales08]

Oh I'll never give up and I'll never stick one I those things in my mouth again! This is hell and it's insane how something like that can make u feel so bad when u don't have it! Today's a very emotional day for me brought my 5 year old to his first day of school ever! I cried so hard leaving him! Now I'm at home all alone and it's depressing but I'm a big video game addict to and that keeps me really busy. My boyfriend woke up extra earlier and cleaned the house before I got out of bed I woke up and was like OMG why is my house clean?? Ik I went to bed with it a mess and then I though did I clean it last night and not remember. Lol it's weird not having my lil man hear running around being energized like he always is! Ima try to sleep as much as I can today though. I feel like if I was to get a good nap in it might help me feel a lot better. Today's a lil better. Still have these hot and cold flushes and a lil but of leg cramp but that's it. Is it weird that I haven had any problems eating and haven't had the craps at all these past 5 days?! Everyone says the have the craps and can't eat but I haven't had neither of those. Does that mean my body isn't cleaning itself out properly because of that?

[dedicatedtostop]

Hey sweetie,
I am here. Your doing great! Everyone is different. Some say days 3-4 are the worst others say day 5. For me personally, day 5 was my worst on my last detox then day 6 was a real turning point. Relax, long slow deep breaths. Try to stay as busiest as possible today. Found your " own outlet ".. Long baths, walks, cleaning and for me mine was music! Do whatever you must to get through minute by minute. Try to stop focusing on " how much longer " bc that can make it worse. Don't think about Tommorow only today!! Tommorow is not here yet. You have made a commitment to yourself and your son to get clean. We didn't say it was easy, we have told you it's worth it! Remember what I said about warrior mode?! Well, now is the time to lock yourself down in warrior mode. Your in the midst of a battle for your life right now and your SO close! Don't give up before that miracle that everyone keeps talking about.
Long, slow deep breaths, keep posting. You HAVE THIS! Look at what you have already accomplished!

[Gonzales08]

I really need someone to talk too :(

[Gonzales08]

Ik I'm
Detoxing but it to be my 5th day I wouldn't think it would be this bad. I'm becoming extremely depressed and crying non stop! I feel like this feeling will never go away. My body's been feeling like this for long long I forgot what it feels like to not burn. My skin feels like it's on fire and burning horribly which is why I'm having trouble sleeping.


As far as my boyfriend he's as bad off as me. He's been doing them a lot longer I think 2 or 3 years. He is the opposite he is having problems mentally when he's sober the with drawals don't really bother him because he will look at it like it's the flu. I've let him know this whole time going through this that I love him but I have to do what's best for me n my son. He's in the process of weening right now he's down to a pill a day so tomorrow he will start cold turkey.  He's very dedicated as much as I am n has been so helpful. He don't use around me or even let me know when he has something because he doesn't want too tempt me. All I can do is pray that he goes through with this and be there for him as much as he's been here for me. He's a welder n spends all day in this 100 degree weather n has been coming home cleaning cookin taken care of me n my son. (He's not the father) he's even stayed up all night with me to comfort me then went to work. He actually was up till 12 with me but ended up passing out while holding me. He keeps telling me that by tomorrow I should feel better but for some reason I feel like I'm never gonna feel better. :( what's the longest of physical w/ds should I look forward too. This burning of my skin is driving me insane!

[jifmoc]

You are feeling this bad because you are DETOXING. This is how it's supposed to be. Don't bother trying to got to sleep at 10:30 especially. Sleep is the last thing to come back. You just have to ride this out.

I noticed you haven't commented on the posts that refer to the bigger picture: living w/ someone who is using and what it takes for you to STAY clean. What are your thoughts?

[Gonzales08]

Y'all idk why but tonight's horrible! :( I feel as if my whole body is on fire! I feel like I could go insane or something from this! Is this high blood pressure I'm having and what can I do to help this? As soon as I come out the covers I get chills all over! I tried to fall asleep around 10:30 and only slept one hour! Why am I feeling this bad I figured it would have chilled by now but I feel as if it just keeps getting worse :(

[Frogger76]

Dts ya beat me to the punch, lol. Very well said!

Gonzales08~
You say your bf is quitting tomorrow, why not today? Why not this very second? Back in the day I said I'm quitting tomorrow more times than I can count. I'm too am not trying to sound harsh, but if he continues to use, then you need to step away. You focus on your sobriety, you cannot change him or make him quit, only he can do that. Hopefully he means it and tomorrow will be the day he lays down the needle, but keep in mind, if he don't, it will be very hard for you to remain clean.

Honey, I've been there, I've relapsed soooo many times. I'm worried about you being able to maintain your sobriety if he continues to use. I wish you and him the best!

[dedicatedtostop]

I hope your boyfriend STOPS because I really fear go your long term sobriety if your in the same house as someone who is using. Not to mention this is truly a life or death matter! The only end to continuing to use is death! I truly hope you can be a good influence on your friends an if not... Sadly, your going to have to find new friends if your in this for the long haul. I didn't have any of those issues, I got my meds from my Dr and it was strictly for pain so I am sure cutting all ties is easier said than done but it's a must to stay sober. I think other long timers will chime in here and say something similar, and probably even have better advice, but you say having your bf shoot up these drugs doesn't bother you. Okay that's great but what happens in a week or two or maybe a few months down the road when your addict brain tells you it's safe to " have just a little "?? That's what happened to me in my first relapse of being pill free for well over a year. All it took was a bad day w my back and thinking just 1 script was okay!!! Wrong....... And that was years ago! I don't mean to sound harsh at all bc I care about your sobriety and I can tell you do too. But your situation scares me!! Your bf and " all your friends "... Honey you can't change anyone unless they want to change. I would recommend your bf coming here and posting also and both of you getting into some sort of aftercare!! It's the beginning of the rest of your life's.. I think you will feel better Tommorow but you need to really really have your guard up until ALL drugs are out of your home! Even after we feel better, the addict brain is alive and well! Please keep us posted!

[Gonzales08]

Oh ok my bad. I did read that wrong. We'll that gives me a lot of hope because today's day 5 for me! Except that small amount I did but hopefully it wasn't enough to change anything. You can d/w after only being on something for one week?? They must have put u on a high dose or something. It ***** that we can either live with the pain or have a chance of being on them n never getting off. Ok so many people who do them most are my friends and there all sated to death of being on them any longer after seeing me so miserable. I'm hoping maybe I can make a change in someone else's life also to get off the horrible things. My boyfriends on them he shoots them and use to do anywere from 3 to 4 a day and is still doing them. We live together and it wasn't difficult at all to be around him while he did it but he was so upset that he had to watch me go through that and was very supportive. He's actually gonna be starting tomorrow getting off these things. He says he has before and only with drawals for like 3-4 days but I think it's only because the way he does them. This is the best choice we've ever done together. It's just way to much money and time and everything.

[dedicatedtostop]

I think you read that wrong.. I have went through it 3 times.. Still way too many! I think another one would kill me. I had Back surgery last July and ended up worse. I have had a bad back since 07.. Now they say I need a spinal fusion but NO WAY will I do it! Not till the day I can no longer walk! My last time wasn't really a " relapse "... After my move I hurt my back and through the support of my Dr's, this group an NA, I made a conscious decesion to go back on them short term. An that's just what it was short term. I was only on for about a week... But still went through WD coming off ( just not as bad Thank goodness )...

[Gonzales08]

Wow 5 times you've had to go through this?!?! You are a warrior! I'm very blessed that I'm not having any mental problems such as craving. It's just the physical I'm having problems with. After going through this I hate these things so bad an I wish I could tell everyone never to get on these things they are the D-E-V-I-L! I never wanna touch another pain pill in my life! I'll be stickin with tylonal before I ever go threw this again! What's your story? How come it's been so many times for you? I'm only 23 and don't really have many pain problems. Small back problems from having my kid but that's it. I noticed most people get hooked from there doctors giving them the pain Meds.

[dedicatedtostop]

I have relapsed a couple times and day 5 has always been the worst! I bet you will be feeling MUCH better Tommorow! Whatever you do, DONT take anything! I am here for you and I beleive in you! Just take it easy, rest, and don't worry about anything other than getting through THIS day!

[Gonzales08]

Thanks so much! Today's the 5th day so hopefully I don't have much longer! How much longer u think it will be before these w/ds go away?

[Frogger76]

Sounds like you are commited to sobriety, that's so good to hear! Don't be like me, by the time I finally got my head outta my keester, I still had to face all the lies I told to get pills, I had to face my dad, who I stole from to get pills. But worst of all, so much time had gone by, that a lot of my sons childhood was a blur from me popping pills all the time. That's something I'll never get back. I've been clean a tad over six years, and to this day it haunts me. I don't wanna see that happen to you. Good luck in your journey, I wish you and your son nothing but the very best! Take care...

[Gonzales08]

Thanks so much! That really has in spired me a lot! I was feeling so horrible and I was just like enough is enough ima get my  *** up clean my house and go for a walk even if it is 103 out here today! It's deff got my mind off feelin so bad! I noticed when your laying around it just makes the withdrawals feel even worse! I'm deff not gonna so anymore. That was very stupid of me but I learned my lesson! I feel even worse for the people that's been on them for years and years and doing way higher of a dose! Now those are true warriors right there! I've been told my habit isn't that bad but to me doing one a day for a year is just sad! I should need a pill to make me happy god should be my job and my son! I am so thankful for all of y'all! I'm so glad I signed up on here because y'all really encourage me. It's nice to have someone there to help u through it. I'm to young for  this anyways I have my whole life to look forward to and this is not how I want it I be. Worrying about when ima have my next fix so I'm not feeling so horrible! I'm just glad to have supporters! Thank y'all so much!

[Danny111]

Using what you used doesn't put you back to where you were, it's just a set back.  But the longer you do it the longer you'll drag out the wd's.  

Although the wd's suck there isn't anything about them that should cause you to need medical help unless you're a heart patient or something like that where stress is dangerous for you.  

The wd's certainly suck but each minute you get through means one less minute of them to deal with.  

[dedicatedtostop]

Hang in there you are so close!!!! I know how hard it is! If you get a chance go read some of my post from the past month. I went through detox while packing a 6,000 sq foot home with a 14yr old daughter, an 8yr old daughter and a moody husband... Made the 2 hour move and hurt my back again. Needless to say, I started over. Last Monday I sent my oldest to a NEW High school as a freshman ( which I have had trouble accepting she is a freshman for the last few months )... She came home and had a terrible day. I was on Day 2!!! My youngest did fine at her new school. I just wanted to share that w you so that you know it ha been done!! You CAN and will do it too! You ARE doing it.. But, you can NOT use anymore! I know it *****!! It's the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life but it's SO worth it! Sadly, there's no way around the WD except through it. You are so close to the end of those nasty symptoms. Put yourself in warrior mode and bear down bc your almost there!!
Xoxo DTS

[Gonzales08]

See that's what I thought because my body's use to 30mgs a day after going 4 days without n doing 5mgs that day even after 30 minutes later I was still w/do they just weren't that bad. It was around 3 by 7 I felt horrible again. Today's day 5 and I'm still having some w/ds same **** chills, sweats, And a lil bit of leg cramps. I wish I knew what I could take for these cold sweats cause that's what's causing me to feel so horrible and I kinda feel like I have high blood pressure.