Quiet

[Bkitty2]

I know I have been really quiet these days. I am working thru a lot things mentally, emotionally, spiritually & physically. I want you all to know that one day I hope to be me again. I am getting all the notes you leave me and messages and I am really sorry if I have not responded. I am not trying to be rude. For you all here are a special part of my life and heart. I come here and linger....sometimes wanting to say something...sometimes cant think of what to say. This place and the amazing people here on this SA forum and Cat forum has saved me...more than you will ever know. I hold each of you dear to my heart. I have a relationship with each and everyone of you and not a day goes by that I don't think of all my friends here. I just feel bad for not being around here as much and not saying much. I love you all very much and when the time is right I will share with you all the things that I am going thru. I posted a journal about that night. I closed it because I am scared for you all to see that. Yesterday was-well Sunday was one month ago. A terrible thing that I did to myself. Im here and if I don't respond quick I am sorry,,I just wanted you all to know I care so much about you and I am so thankful for everything you have done for me. (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

Bkitty

[gnarly_1]

Hey Kitty good to see you post I just got internet back in the house so you will be seeing more of me  I hope all is going well for you and you can get past all of this big hugs go out to you good luck and God bless.......Gnarly

[littlebit667]

Thinking of you Ms. Kitty!  Stay strong.

[Brightfutureahead]

Hey there...just wanted to send a big 'hi' your way! :)

[meegWpaw]

hey kittee I am sincerely sorry about the lawyer thing I've been going to some lately and it is very very hard.  I know this sitch has been a source of great aggravation for you but just walk through it one step at a time.  oh I am looking at the post it prolly already happened ... hope it went ok.  anyway I am so glad u did all that stuff for the fourth!  yay kittee ur the ultimate bomb!  yesterday I was picturing u, in the little pool, oh our kittee so glamorous relaxin in the sun!  *:

[Bkitty2]

I went swimming and sunbathed..we had a BBQ and then my brother in law set off fire works. Now I am headed to a meeting with a lawyer that I am dreading in this never ending saga with my SD mother. This time she is after me.

[vicki595]

My sentiments mirror Debbie's...So, what's on the menu for today??  

[atthebeach]

I forgot to tell you something important ~~~~~~~
I am doing a happy dance, jersey shore style!!!!!
Just for you. This is a great way to start my day. . You have put a
Big smile on my face.
Thank you Hun.
I will say it again I am very happy for you and very proud of you.
Remember girl there is always hope....
Keep the faith....
Continued prayers and blessings,
Debbie

[atthebeach]

Oh Hun this is a beautiful post. I am so happy I have tears of joy. That is so awesome your appt went well, you are seeing a new doctor, you got out today and you going to have a BBQ. That is alot of things and they are all wonderful.
That a girl. We knew you were going to be okay.
That's it a little bit at a time. Slow and steady wins the race.
A BBQ is a perfect thing on the 4 th of July. You can celebrate, you are a blessed lady, we all love you and want you to continue to heal. There is healing and their is restoration. GOD loves you .
You have a wonderful day with your hubby and your kitty's.
maybe you can go for the bike ride today you will have fun.
((((((((Big hugs))))))))
Debbie

[Bkitty2]

My appointment went well. I am getting in to see a new doctor soon for the psych follow up. I got out a little today. We plan to BBQ tomm and I am looking forward to that. Thank You so very much.
((hugs))

[Pat1956100]

Hi Sweety
I haven't been around much so it was nice to log on and see this message from you.  I heard you had a really rough experience but I haven't heard much else.
Don't worry about being around and posting, we're just happy that you are still around period.
When you feel up to it just start posting and let whatever comes out, come out.  
That's what I have always done here.  Sometimes it gets me in trouble and sometimes people like what I have to say.

Big hugs
Pat

[deadgamegrrl]

Sending you love from the doggie house! I have been somewhere like where you are. I call it the black hole of death and destruction. Each time I fall in it feels like I will never find my way out. But I do. Sometimes I don't even know how, but I do. So just keep going, you will get there. (((hugs)))

[AppleBr]

Praying for you

[10356]

sending some love BKitty.. I wish I had words that would pierce the darkness.. Please try BKitty Try to find that 1 thing that brings warmth to you that brings a glimmer of hope Grab onto it and grow it.. None know your pain but we all have had our own.. There is so much out there beyond us.. Know you are loved... warm hugs, lesa

[laurel453]

we are all with you, bkitty

[dominosarah]

Sending you love and hugs my friend~

[1sorryperson]

Many prayers your way.  May she be lifted, and strengthend and know that so many here are learning from her.    

Bless her in the name of our Lord.

[vicki595]

What time is your appt. today?   You're on my mind this morning...and I hope you're feeling a little better.

[SmilingBright]

Just wanted you to know I'm praying for you!!! Praying you have a better day today!!!  
Love Chris

[wransomejr]

Like the others, your pain and anguish are palpable in what you write. I offer my prayers along with the others. And my love. Is it not incredible how sincere this forum of anonymous friends is? I know that for me, meetings are an important part of keeping it real, and I made my first in a long time last night. But the advice and support of my MedHelp SA forum friends has been far more personal and I feel more understood here. You keep on keeping on.
Hugs...Peace,
Randy

[kyle505]

People like you are few and far between. You help keep things on an even keel. You don't see that now. I wish you only the very best.
K

[meegWpaw]

hey bee kittee, come on now huni!  you can do this!  of course you can!  OF COURSE YOU CAN!  like ppl said, it may take some time.  I think you have to give yourself time to heal, and baby yourself, and let ur hub baby you, but also somehow at the same time force yourself a little, you know?  push yourself ... just a little.  do something you don't want to do ... just for a short time, kittee.  you've got to jar yourself out of this state of mind.  our minds can be so deadly ... they convince us of the way things are, but that's not the reality, kittee.  it can be so much different than how you are thinking of it and feeling it.  you just can't conceive of that difference now.  but it is there, HOPE is there and POSSIBILITY is there.  we love you kittee.  we all love you SO MUCH.  you got all these people behind you, many many strong who really love you.  use that strength and move yourself forward.  "...these very days of your transition are perhaps the time when everything in you is working at (him) ... be patient and without resentment and think that the least we can do is to make (his) becoming not more difficult for (him) than the earth makes it for the spring when it wants to come.  And be glad and confident."  --Rainer Maria Rilke

[atthebeach]

oh hun, my heart is grieved. I feel your pain and sorrow. there is healing.
you need to reach out and up. are you taking an anti-depressant?
does your pastor come and pray with you?
there is always hope, don't you let go of that hope.
please don't isolate yourself, it is important to get out.
maybe a ride with your hubby on your bikes would help. just a small ride.
its good you are going to your doctor tomorrow. please have a nice long talk with him, that's what he is there for.
sending many, many prayers for peace,
and lots of hope,
Debbie

[vicki595]

You don't sound good...I'm glad you're seeing your doctor tomorrow. Please be honest about all of this...and hang in Sweetie.  There's a way...

[Andie015]

My heart is heavy for you.... Most of us here have had our really down and out times, but you are dealing with something far worse. I can literally feel your anguish and I hurt for you. I truly hope letting your doctor in on everything you are feeling will bring you some sort of relief.  Are you having strong cravings?  Or is this more emotional?  It sounds very emotional to me, like severe depression. Of course I'm not trying to diagnose, just better understand what you are going through. Do you think letting some of that out here might help?  It may lift your burden to unload in a more anonymous way. Just a suggestion, no pressure on that of course. I read your post and immediately began to worry, for someone who loves her pets so much to think about giving them away means something very serious is going on. Please be very careful, remember all who love you so much and need you in their lives.....I know reading this won't lift your spirits, I just hope it puts some of the positives in your life more into perspective....as hard as that is for you to see now. Good luck tomorrow and be brutally honest, it's the only way you will get the help you really need....