MADE IT TO DAY 8AND HALF

[ff829]

wELL i HAVE MADE IT TO DAY 8AND HALF AND MAN THIS HAS BEEN A FREAKIN NIGHTMARE IN ITS OWN DEMON!!!!!!!Just got off my 24 hour shift from the firestation this morning and just got back from pumping iron at the gym,it felt real good to let it out on the weights!!!!!I have had a unbelievable surge of energy that I havent felt in 2 years since being on percs.Its like the real me is starting to come out of this fog.I actually was watching a movie in my bunk and actually freakin stared laughing at the movie like I felt my real feelings come out ,it was great for the first time if u know what I mean.Im still weak and I feel my energy coming back and still trouble sleeping but I hope it starts to come back to me.My problem is guys at work do theres people on the job that abuse the **** out of this stuff!!!But Im not getting into that topic.my mind sys to just get 1 and its real crazy how your brain does after being on somthing like this.Whats bad is My script is ready for tommorroww 120 pills and I need to cancel  and do somthing before all of this was for nothing Ive hurt to long going cold turkey to look back>The main reason after my back surgery getting on these pills was for the pain and after my back was great no pain I continued using because of my sisters death to accidental methadone at 39 years old it helped me deal with blocking everthing out,but I know that the pill just makes it horrible and worse!!!Well im fixing to go for my 4 mile run and sweat my *** off,PEACE OUT

[dominosarah]

Way to go on getting rid of it!!!!  That shows strength and determination!!!  I am way proud of you!!         sara

[ff829]

Thanks that means alot to me.Man I just got back from walmart and getting stuff for my 3 year old to make a fire truck costume and I am so beat and tired its like I guess all t that excersise this morning and the withdrawels is hitting me like a ton of bricks right now could that mean Im starting to descend I may try to shut my eyes and see if my body will let me get a nap I dont know,and yes the script is gone!!!

[dominosarah]

Did you cancel the refill??????????????

[grey_monkey]

Great job at accomplishing one of the hardest things to over come in your life, addiction. I have been clean for seven years from a huge norco addiction. I went cold turkey and man was it tuff. You said the other day you were watching a movie and said it felt like you were getting your feelings back. wait until next week and the week after that. You will feel so good. Even after seven years i will still get these great feelings of how nice it is to be free from my addiction. So dont refill and dont give up one the great journey you have started. Only great things will come from it.  Todd

[ff829]

Thank you so much for all of your support,its been so hard and I have always been pretty strong minded until this demon,you never no till it gets you!!I have got to try and keep my mind busy or just try and get back into training and deal with my sisters loss the right way.

[Cindy5574]

Thank you! I will I might do some laps around the conference room table! When no ones looking......

[dominosarah]

Get out and run!!!  Get those endorphins working again!!  Sleep will come........sara

[Cindy5574]

Oh good! After work I'm going to go run! I normally do 8 miles a day. Now..none. I think If I will feel better If I do. I've always ran, been healthy and didn't stop when I started taking the meds because I took them for my sports injurys, but not was not healthy. So I was afraid I would have no energy to be healthy, so I kept taking them. Big mistake! Yeah sleep would be good. I got to work 3 hours early and I'm paid salary, should have gone to them gym. Not good. I love my sleep too!

[Axl_0113]

I agree with sara.  Cancel the refil.  If not, then when you least expect it, it will sneak up on you and the next thing you know, you will be kicking yourself in the *** cuz you refilled and relapsed.  I know things seem positive and are going good now, but when getting clean, that whole outlook can change in the blink of an eye, and if you aren't prepared for it....then bad things happen.

Congrats on your success thus far.

[dominosarah]

You are doing so great!!!  The sleep will come back.  Now CANCEL that refill!!  Those pills will be calling your name until you do.  It feels so good to do that.  You are in control of you now, not your addiction.  I would highly recommend some aftercare for you.  The mental part of addiction is the hardest.  I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your sister.  Let yourself feel the pain and grieve. We numbed our feelings up for so long.  CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL that refill........sara

[ff829]

Yea I just got back to from a 4 mile run and how I got through it is amazing because These opiates have just zaped everthing you got and they take away your drive!!!!BUt it felt damm good to sweat like I did.I raced 70.3 miles in an ironman in june of this year and was going on percs and I made it in 7 hours 29 minutes but if I would have been clean theres no telling how good I could have done,I feel for your pain Im right there with you if I can just get some sleep normal if you know what I mean!!

[Cindy5574]

Hi, Im on day 7. It has been hell. I quit cold turkey. I have a little more energy today. So you really went to the gym? I am normally a gym rat and havent been since I quit. Cancel you script. I have the option to take them but will never re-live this nightmare! I have never felt so bad.