Someone needs to slap me!

[kona2009]

I'm back going cold turkey again!  I went 6 months doing great started to move away from this site and bam it started all over again for me.  I had an accident that injured my back last July and of course what do they give you to relieve the pain.  Yes I took them and promised the docter I would take as directed.  At first I was and that lasted about 2 weeks and I was abusing them again.  I'm on day 2 and it doesnt seem as bad as the last CT that I went thru year ago.  Why is that?  Is it because I'm so pissed at myself and had a ligit injury I thought it would be okay?  Boy was I wrong on that one.  I need some hardcore kick me in the butt encouragement right now!!!  Kona

[gnarly_1]

AMEN SARA.........

[dominosarah]

Oh Kona.....You know i want to kick your butt dont ya!!!  I am really glad you are back just not under these circumstances.  You gotta start taking care of you here.  Make you the No1 priority and do whatever it takes to stay clean.  You know you cant do this alone.  I thought we drilled that into your head before.  Use the addiction counselor and check out NA/AA.  Find a group that you are comfortable with.  There you will learn the tools you need to get and stay clean.  Gotta make that clean time the most sacred thing in your life.  Dont worry about the wd's.  Those are the least of your worries right now.  Focus on your recovery........Im watchin you!!       sara

[dede2121]

i suggest the na/aa. either one will work. it is all about addiction. i have no insurance right now so i took that route. but i really dont think that an individual counselor would have been any better. the day i quit i started going and have gone everyday. and it is free.
if i ever have to go to the doctor for pain, i will tell him to give me something non narcotic because i know what would happen if he gave me the pain meds. i would be back to square one.

[throwindatowl]

Oh, You are lucky. My wife left me cause of pills. Give yours a big hug and tell her thanks for sticking to her vows. For better or worse. You got yourself a keeper.

[throwindatowl]

Im 6'3 240lbs and and am gonna kick your butt!!!! haha. No. Hey live and learn. You quit before and you know you can do it. 6 months is awesome and you should be proud. Whatta gonna do when you hurt yourself and actually need meds. You learned an important lesson didnt you? Ive hurt myself alot of times over my lifetime but WDS hurt the worst. Your here doing what you need to do and Im impressed. Its just alittle bump on the road of life. 6 months!!! You rock.

[kona2009]

Thanks for the uplifting words of encouragement.  I need to find some type of group to keep myself real.  I want to help others like me and I need to find the right place where I will fit in.  I've never been to an NA meeting.  I need to start looking for something close by.  My girls are growing to fast and I want to remember all the great moments in their life and not be on that high.  I have to do this for them and my wife.  They are my life and these little pills are not going to ruin my family. Kona

[Bubulous]

I often wonder why my wife stuck with me as well.  She is a nurse and actually gives the medicine out daily to her patients.  We are still hanging in there but after this last time I did a lot of damage that is going to be hard for me to fix.  Unfortunately for her, she really loves me.  I am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to myself, her, and my kids but I am happy that I had this last chance to do it.  I quit for a year when I went to Afghanistan and when I started taking them again after I got back the first time or two I withdrew from them it wasn't that bad.  It didn't seem to be as severe or long as the ones I had before.  But that was about seven months ago and the last ten or fifteen times were rally bad.  Congrats on staying clean for six months and I hate that you had an injury that required you to be back on them.  That being said, next time I would refuse the drugs.  My wife had two kids, one of them being over ten pounds, and she refused any pain medication during and after the fact.  I have never refused them myself but I hope that next time they are offered to me I will be able to.  Good Luck....

[quitinoxys]

Kona, What will push you over the hump is your will. You want to get clean and that will get yan you part of the way there. Since you can only get 6 sessions/year then use them to their greatest benefit. Also you can attend NA/AA meeting as they are free and you can get a great insight into your addiction by attending. You can ALWAYS come here and post at ANY moment of weakness and we will try to talk you through it. So go for it and don't worry what is going to happen tomorrow as it is one day at a time. I will pray for you and God will guide you through this---Rick

[kona2009]

I'm not sure what I'm going to do long term but I need something to push me over the hump.  What is it that will push me over the hump?  I made it six months last time and then injured my back and they gave me those dang little devils again.  Short term I am going to get my butt back into seeing an addiction therapist.  Only problem is my insurance will only cover 6 sessions a year.  Then what after that?  That's the struggle I face is I need someone to vent to face to face.  My wife is great and sometimes I wonder why she doesn't walk out on my because of this damn addiction.  She suffers more than me when I go thru this BS but she is always there for me.  I can't put her thru this anymore I just makes me sick to think what she thinks about me and our future.  I'll figure this out somehow to get thru.  I know one thing is I cannot do this alone or I'm going to fail again.  Thanks for everyones help last time I made it thru and thanks to all for helping me get thru it again.

[kona2009]

Rick you are right on the money.  I seen a therapist and quit seeing her after about 4 months and thought she was helping me thru it.  I'm not sure what would be better for me doing the therapist or group meetings.  I need something that's for sure.  Thanks for the pep talk and keep me in your prayers I really need it now.  Kevin

[IBKleen]

I'll pass on the slapping thing, that's a little rough even for me. I am glad to see you found your way back and hope you hang around this time.

What else do you think you will be doing different this time to stay clean?

[worried878]

No one is gonna slap u!  LOL
It happens to the best of us
all we can do is pick ourselves up and keep moving forward.
This disease doesnt go away just cos we quit...it lingers...and has a way of biting u when u r down and owt,,,right when we least expect it!

Re-evaluate your plan and what you can add or take away that u didnt try last go around perhaps...and just know, u made it 6 mths...many dont do that...and it is sumpin to be proud of!

[quitinoxys]

Kona I am not going to kick your butt you are doing a great job of that all by yourself. So lets stop beating up on ourself and get back to being sober. You may or may not suffer w/d as bad as the last time but that all has to do with how much and how long you were abusing (you know the drill), so you know what to expect anyway. The most important part of this journey of sobriety is aftercare. Did you have any aftercare when you went CT the last time? I am going to guess no, that  was one of the reasons you found yourself caught up again with abusing cuase you don't have the tools to live with this incidious diease. Please Please after CT this time get some aftercare it will make all the difference in the world for your recovery---Rick