Cold Turkey starts now

[discretekarma]

I've been taking Opana 20mg x 4 a day and Dilaudid 8mg x 6 a day for a few years. The meds have changed but the amount has stayed about the same. For those of you that don't know Opana, it's Oxymorphone. 20mg of Opana is the same as 40mg of Oxy. I'm not trying to get posts about how the bioavailability of Opana makes it equal to a different amount.  I've been abusing them by crushing them and snorting them. If I were to convert it all to Oxy to make it easy, it's be 7 x 40mg that go up my nose.  I hurt my back and had surgery and have been on different meds. I need them for my back but I abuse them regardless of how hard I try not to. I know I'm a drug addict and need to get off them. I'll be having another surgery in the next few weeks but I can't wait till then.  My wife is tired of me saying that I love her and our son and am going to stop getting high and then having her walk in on me getting high. It's been happening at least once a week for months.  We're both getting tired of it. I haven't even been high in so long.   I just crush these pills up to stay out of withdrawal. I'm sick of being a slave to this addiction.  

I'm going to stop this madness starting tonight. I snorted my last one at 7pm tonight followed by my wife walking in on me yet again.  I have a few Dr appointment tomorrow morning and early afternoon so I may take one Opana to manage to go to those but then that's it. I have to go to these appointments to set up my back surgery so it's not an option to miss them.  I will really need support.  My wife is so disgusted with me that she doesn't want to talk to me at all and I can't blame her. I really think things happen for a reason. I've told her many times that I'm done. I gave her a letter this morning that explained that I'm done and am going to be her man and do the right thing. Then tonight she walked in on me getting high. I was so mad at myself.  So mad.  In fact, I was so mad that I decided to quit today. I know that if she hadn't walked in on me again, I wouldn't be doing this now. I don't know what makes today different from the rest but for whatever reason it is. I'm not going to let this addiction ruin my marriage, family, and life. I'm getting off this stuff  now and will figure out what to do about my surgery when the time comes. I guess I'll let the hospital medicate me and then I'll take the minimum after I go home. Or maybe none. We'll see. Sorry to ramble so much. I'm pretty nervous. I've done cold turkey from a lower amount and it was hell so I know I'll feel bad. I know it'll be the pits of hell so I'm pretty scared. I need support. I don't expect anything at home. Please reach out if you can.

[discretekarma]

I feel pretty good tonight. I didn't go cold turkey all day but I did pretty good. I was on 6 x 8mg dilaudid and 4 x 20mg Opana. I was crushing all of them prior to today. My last Dilaudid was yesterday at 4pm and my last Opana was crushed at 7pm yesterday.  I took a bunch of vitamins like Gaba and slept until about 4:30am this morning. I woke up feeling pretty bad. I felt pretty bad when I woke up. By 7am I was really feeling bad.  My wife gave me an Opana at 9am. I had another Opana at 3pm which made me feel a little better and then one at 9pm. Basically, I took 3 out of 4 Opana's today without crushing them and didn't take any Dilaudid's.  I'm pretty happy with the way that worked out. I plan to continue taking the Opana's for a few days while I get the Dilaudid's out of my system and then I will start to get the Opana's out. I think that's a better plan than going cold turkey for no reason. My wife has always had my pills. She keeps them in a safe which I do not have access to and she is very strong about not giving in when I fold.  

[10356]

My hope for you today is that with you telling your Dr. and asking him for help and telling him of your addiction.. You wife will see it for what it is.. and will be willing to work with you.. we will all be here to offer our support also.. Dr.s are aware of the long term effects of opiates when we are honest with them they do not see you as a seeker but they will be careful with what they prescribe in the future.. I wish you well today.. there is a saying that has always struck me.. an addict is only as sick as our secrets.. makes sense when you think about it.. Good luck today and we will look forward to hearing back..

[worried878]

also..keeping them in ur house while trying to quit is a sure way to doom urself.,.u gotta cut of suply meaning doctors or connectiions who giv them to u..being honest with the dr.some pushers will respect ur wishes to be clean//some will not and continue to sell them to u if u cave and go to them/most will...mine did not..i told him i lost my job/which was a lie/and i never heard from him again..he was the type of dealer who invaded my life by borrowing money thru the month and then paying me back with cheap pills..getting rid of him was a huge relief...a stressor off my back..but he would sell me pills half price cos i lent him money......blood suckers/some of them r/but it is our responsibility to get rid of them when we quit and be honest with our dr's

[discretekarma]

However, I am going to my general Dr tomorrow if I can to tell them what's up and see if there's anything that can help.  I'm not looking for more pills. I'm looking for something else to help so we'll see.  Valium or something.

[discretekarma]

I tried to involve my wife for a while and it hasn't worked. First, she gave me a days worth of meds and of course I abused those. After she caught me getting high a few times she stopped that and started giving me each dose. I agreed that was the only solution. It wasn't more than a day before I was keeping the pills in my mouth and spitting them back out when I Ieft the room. To me, getting off the pills is the only way. I can't do it any other way.

[SophieShine]

Hi Scott and welcome!
What Lesa suggested is THE solution. Involve your wife in your recovery. Trust is not something you just get it is something you have to win. There are a lot of people here in the same situation as you are right now. Please talk to your Dr about your addiction problem. You'll get all the support you need on here, believe me, this is an amazing place. Keep us posted. best of luck to all of you. sophie.

[10356]

Hello and welcome to the forum.. You really should speak to your Dr. and talk to him about a taper with your wife if she is willing to hold your pills.. I know how desperate you feel right now and you can get through it ct.. I will be the first to support you but being honest with your Dr. is the best option at this point.. have your wife with you.. come clean and prove to her you are serious..you can get meds prescribed that will help.. I had to tell my surgeon I was a addict for a shoulder replacement I'm having in July.. she understood my desire to be tapered off the meds quickly and help for sleep and all the first few days.. my son will be holding my pain meds.. Hope you speak to your Dr. tomorrow as this is your chance to keep your commitment.. I wish you and your family the best.. lesa

[chefron98]

Im with you man, Im at end of kind of a rushed taper and I have been in the pits of hell for almost a week now.  8 days ago I was on 100mg of hydro a day, now I'm only on 20, 10 this morning and 10 tonight, I;m hoping this taper will make this a bit easier.  I know this is a pretty fast taper as tomorrow I will only take 5 mgs twice.  Then the next day nothing.  This is the second time ive done this and i was actually completely clean for 3 months.  Then I started again.  With 1 pill.  Within 1 month i was back on 100 mgs a day for the last year.  Just remember the hell you are feeling and beleive you never want to do it again.  Im an idiot having to do this again for the second time.  We can do this though, well do it together man.  Ill be on here pretty often.

[discretekarma]

By the way. My name is Scott.