This whole process is so hard.....

[wannabefreeagain]

This is really something....when you are in the middle of this process, it is hard to stay positive. I still have no energy...so I dont feel like pushing to get dressed,...Im just sooooo tired.  I try to sit still, and when I have to get up....everything hurts.  I know it takes time....so Im just venting.  I did start my recovery program yesterday.  Im just so tired....I just dont feel like pulling any energy,  its such a struggle.   Im bored...plus too tired to even try to do anything.  Im a wreck.  Im starting to fall into self pity.   Its just so hard, Im 1-2 days shy of 2 weeks clean...& Im expecting more progress by now.  I did some research on exactly what these pain pills do to us physically & mentally.  I understand what I read.....its still hard to sit in this.   This is exactly why some people turn around, they get tired of the process....I will admit, it takes everything, & then some....to even push & make it to 2 weeks.  You just get sooo tired of feeling like this, it plays tricks with your mind,  no I dont have desire to use.....its just discouraging, and feels like I pushed sooooo hard to make it to this point.....& it just doesnt feel like 2 weeks is a prize, because Im still not good enough yet.  You just get so tired of feeling like this, makes you wonder if, & when will this end.  I know...I know....again Im just venting.  I cant do nothing but pray at this point...Im too tired to do anything else,  & using again does not even cross my mind.  Theres nothing I can do about it now,,,I just pray that this passes sooner than later.  I am not thinking about going back....thank god....but I almost feel like just laying down, and giving up....Im soooo sooooo sick of feeling like this.  Omg...this is just too much.   Its very hard to ignore all the things going on around me too, because Im sick,  does not stop life.  There are issues in my life that need my attention, so its super rough trying to handle my life issues in such a sick condition.  If someone else could do it, believe me I would gladly hand it over.  Again.....Im having a moment i guess.....so im going to just lay down as long as I can,  & push a lil later to at least make it to track to walk.  it will pass some of this evening away timewise.  And hope for a better day tomorrow.  Even tho its hard to look forward to tomorrow, when I already know, I will most likely feel the same way tomorrow.   Okay, thanks for listening.  Even tho there is nobody on here to talk to.  Ill come back later.

[dominosarah]

Congrats on your clean time!!!  Believe it or not you are making progress.  I know this is hard right  now but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Stay strong, you are doing this!!

[Soulscapex]

Hello, ive been reading all your post, btw Congrats on your new life, i recently made this journey, i came off of 7.5mgs of methadone, i was scared and worried, but with just surrendering to the process , everyday got a tad better, Im coming up on 2 months soon, im on day 58. 2 Weeks is huge, one thing i might suggest is music, on those days you dont have the energy put some headphones on, it really i mean really helps, there was days i could barely walk up to the bathroom, but when i was listening to music , i found myself dancing. The energy and motavtion come back they really do ,
i still run out of steam on some days, but who doesnt . I know it may at times seem hopeless, but you must believe that this is only temporary , you will heal , you will feel better, even tho you dont feel like moving goin for a walk helps, i started working out recently and omg that rush after wards is great,
You really have to look on the positive side, dont hope tomorrow will be better , TELL yourself it WILL be better.
A positive outlook will change your days , it did for me.
GOD BLESS

[wannabefreeagain]

Oh....I forgot to mention......the sneezing & the headaches.  about 4 months ago, I went thru a bout with constant tension headaches.  I was visiting the er so much, it was crazy.  They finally got me on a med that seemed to start helping some,  but I was still getting headaches.  Now since I have begun this journey of withdrawal and stopping the pills, I dont know if its the withdrawal or just my regular headaches.  Just thinking about it gives me a headache, because I dont know what is causing headaches now !  I do know withdrawal causes headaches too.  So thats depressing as well.  I have been sneezing off and on as well.  Well I think thats enough of my whinning for now huh?  Im just here.  But I do remember from my other detoxes, headaches & sneezing is part of it.  Oh well.