im an oc addict

[alf82]

Wow. Ok, I have tears in my eyes even typing this. Im 28 & a mother of 3 and I am an oxy addict. Never have I really said that. Its been a week & a day sine I have had one. Cold turkey. This is the 3rd time I have tried to quit. This is the 1st time I tried cold turkey. I feel better finally. My back isnt killing me & the hot n cols are gone. But I feel like I have no energy. I cant sleep. I really think I made it through the worst of the withdrawals. I do read about people who think they get through them, then another wave hits them. I am praying that is not me.

But what I do not understand is, I know the hell I have been going through, how much it is ruining my life. But right now all I can think about is how bad I want one. Its all I can think about. I dont use them for any medical use, recreational. I regret the day that I let someone talk me into trying it. I have no energy, I dont want to do anything. I am miserable. I am depressed. All I can think about is that if I just had 1 then I would feel good. The on;y way I have stayed away frim it this long is that I have basically lock myself away. I dont go anywhere. Talk to no one. Just take my kids to and from school & be with them. But that is no way to live. I have no idea what to do. Im scared. Seems everyone I know does them. Your everyday run of the mill normal people. Im constantly gettin texts and calls about people that have them want to sell them. Its driing me nuts. I just want to do one. Anyone have some advice? Please help!!

[wantitdone]

I understand that it is hard I also went c/t, im at day 7 just left my children's bedroom & really spent sometime watching them sleep I kept saying in my head I can do this no more....I don't want to risk anything for my sober mind.as much as I want just 1 I know this can't ever happen...not even 1...Iam feeling like the major w/ds are over with the execption of the mental energy game. i spent today looking at my home, I have so much to do, 2 weeks ago i would pop a tab or 6 & get busy, but, I realized today that I overlooked so many details in this house...in my life....in my children...I want to be a sober mom, who never misses any of the little things...Keep on, I know I need some kind of aftercare, small town, n/a right on main street, want to keep it to myself however I know I need help, keep posting, keep reading ...I NEED ENERGY, my mind seems to have more real wits about it, NO more tabs... 7 days behind a new life ahead....need energy remedy ASAP

[Remold]

Great job on getting through the peak withdrawals (the hard part). The thing I use to make sure I will never do one again is video tape yourself during day three and four of your withdrawals or watch videos of others doing it. I am not willing to repeat that hell for anyone including my cravings. It took me of having the worst withdrawal experience of my life to get me to swear off pills. Remember all the pleasure u get from the pills u have to give back two fold in misery and pain. Be strong and find something to help u enjoy life again.

[FassFeat]

Hang in there alf, The meeting is a great idea. If you can't find NA close go to AA, they are free as gizzy stated, It will help. We are all cheering for you. Hang in there and keep posting.

[gizzy32]

I can send you a link to an NA meeting, but not sure if that`s what your looking for. They are free and can help and I am sure you can find one close this evening.

http://www.okna.org/

I think that will work.

[alf82]

Does anyone have any knowledge of some place to go for help in my area. (Tulsa, OK) Or how to find one? I dont have insurance, so that could be a problem.

[gizzy32]

P.S. Check out the health pages here also. You can find them in the top right of this page. There is a lot of great info in there about cravings and addiction, and also the amino acid protocal can help too. Keep posting and DON`T TAKE ONE:)

[mentalmary]

ok ...take a deep breath....i recently stopped taking opiates myself.....and i would just like to say that its awesome that you are clean....so now it would be wise to try and get in a program of some sort.....i went to a crisis center not far from my home....i was still taking them so i had to stay for detox.....but you are clean so your ahead of the game.....they will help you i promise.....and if you have no insurance you should still be able  to get help......i know you fell terrible ...i do too...but guess what it will pass and your not so doped up nothing matters....i try to think about it like im waking up out of a deep sleep and my brain and body has to catch up.....well i really hope you talk to someone and get some help it will make this alot easier on you ....counseling,groups.mettings,doctors,medications   lots of things to help...good luck.

[ang_811]

u need to get into some sort of aftercare. it was a matter of life or death for me. i cant tell u how grateful i am that i have my counselor. i have learned the tools i need to stay clean. i also learned how to deal with my triggers al il better and how to deal with the cravings. first off... u have to go thru ur phone and delete all contacts of people who use and people who u can get the oc's off of. its oxycontin right?  that was my drug after the reg pills became no fun nemore. its powerful. i eneded up being able to do a whole oxycontin 80 mgs and still be going thru withdrawls. i was n bad shape. neways.... u have to change ur lifestyle and make some hard choices but n the long run they will pay off for ya.  the energy things was tough for me but it got better as the days went by. try doing some excercising  and get ur natural endorphins going on  again. do positive things that will make u feel good about urself. keep ur mind busy. an idle mind is the devils playground.get nto an old hobbie u used to have. u will find that life has so much more offer u now that ur clean and sober. u dont need those pills to have a great and wonderful life. u have to feel good about urself now that ur not tied down to those pills nemore.... i wish u all the luck n the world.

congradulations on ur clean time. thats huge. : )

[gizzy32]

Welcome to the forum and congrats on those 8 days clean and also reaching out for support. Admitting to being an addict is a big step and it took me years of drugs and booze to finally admitting that.

Craving a pill for us is normal as crazy as that sounds, we are addicts and our disease want's to keep us sick, saying just one more time, but that is the lie of addiction. Your so early off them and the cravings are so tough, but keep talking, stay busy and don't let that craving build anymore. Please break off those contacts that are trying to sell you them, that is a major trigger. I am proud of you for posting this, cause that shows that deep down you don't want to use, but when those cravings hit, it's a battle. Take it one minute at a time and this too shall pass:) You have so much to look forward to now that your clean and it will get easier. Stay strong!!!