LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! After an 8 year addiction to Heroin!

[poisonsky]

When I was 19 I was addicted to Meth, for some reason it was easy to quit after a year. Because of that, I thought I could handle Pills and Heroin. I was young and stupid, and very, very wrong! It really started with 5mg vik's. One every Friday or Saturday night. I worked in the bar industry and I was never a fan of coke. One turned into two, Then 10mg's, and those sweet, sweet Norco's!  Some time down that wrong path I found myself balls deep in 80mg-Oxycontin's.  (Not one but 2 a day) At $60 a pop, Heroin being $15 a bag seemed the smart thing to do. I was wrong. I found myself shooting 3 balloons of heroin a day. If not heroin then methadone. I lost love, friends and family and of course jobs. The sad part is that I new it. Some of my best friends didn't even know. Some how, I kept it hidden.  I knew I had to stop, but couldn't find away. 8 years gone.
  I eventually found suboxone, but guess what? I had suboxone withdraws! Yes, if you tried it then you know what I am talking about! So this is what I did. I broke down my dose in half. And then that half in half. I was down to about an eighth of a "Sub" and started taking small flakes. (for the record I bought them off the street and never went to a Doctor,  although you should DEFINITELY talk to a Doctor because I am not a Doctor and am only telling you my story) I think that the small flakes of suboxone was mental because the small amounts should not have affected me, BUT IT DID! After about two weeks of a very small amount of suboxone, I finally stopped. It was still a little hard for about three days, but then it happened. I realized that I wasn't thinking about it as much, and I exercised and ate healthy. The fog cleared after about three days of anxiety and depression.
It has been about 8 months now and my life is GREAT!!! I thought I would never be able to quit and that I would be a Junkie for the rest of my life. And I was SO wrong! I thought that once I was off drugs that my life would be sad and depressing and I would always be wanting more black tar, I was again wrong. YOU CAN DO IT!!! PLEASE, TRUST ME!!!  You also have to stay away from the people that still use! That's how I was pulled in before. Thinking that its been a while so once more wont hurt. WRONG!!!
It is a tough road, But think about it:You've made it this far, and its not just helping you, it's helping everyone that cares for and loves you. You want to quit. You wouldn't have looked this site up you didn't want to find an escape. I am Robert Kuhn, I hope my story helps you. I am very happy now. And the light at the end of your tunnel is not as far away as you think!

[poisonsky]

Awesome. I think one of the reasons why it took me so long to fallow through was the fear that I would be so depressed and anxious for the rest of my life with out dope or pills. I just wish someone would have come out and say that its pretty damn good after a while of being sober. I mean, of course I'll always consider myself an addict or ex addict, But my life is just fun now. I want people to know that it gets easier and just better the longer your clean. Whats weird is that one thing that scares me the most, WORST than death is being dope/pill sick again! Once I decided to quit and I would relapse, my expectations of the high weren't met, leaving me broke and hurting.The consequence of doing the drug is my first thought now. I don't think about the  high or how "Normal" it'll make me feel, I am hit with a wall of fear that keeps the idea of the drug at bay.    

[tryntogetwell]

Thankyou very much for sharing your story. It gives people like me hope that we need very badly. It seems the best way for most people(most NOT all) is to taper very very slowly off of suboxone. I know this is the way I am going to do this. No doubt in my mind. Thanks again for sharing this. It does show us that there is light at the end of the tunnel. :)

[poisonsky]

Oh man, You guys are great. I probably should have mentioned that I live in down town Portland, and if you've ever been here you would see that its one of the most beautiful and peaceful cities out there but for how pretty of a place it is, the drug addicted homeless (Not all of them) are the decorations on an over cluttered Christmas tree! Part of my recovery help is seeing these reminders every other block that I can easily fall back into old habits.
  I appreciate the comments that you have left for me. I Honestly got choked up a little to see that you not only heard my voice but gave me a 'Hello' back. Thank you for that. I wish everyone the best.
When your an addict or an ex-addict, we all share one thing: We all know that you only live once, But we have all died at least a hundred times.

[LeaAnn807]

Wow!  Big congrats.  You've come a LONG way from where you were, and I know it feels good!  

[dominosarah]

Congrats on those 8 months!!!  May you continue in your recovery and living life to its fullest~~~~~~~sara

[gizzy32]

Thanks for sharing and congrats on those 8 months clean, that is awesome. I am glad to hear your happy and loving life. Keep taking it one day at a time:)

[Alltay]

I enjoyed your story. I also did the quick suboxone detox, but was never successful. Once my habit turned black just switching from the opiate abuse to suboxone was very very difficult. After going through that hell of abusing opiates to consistent suboxone maintenance I learned my limits. I appreciate hearing about your recovery. I think it shows others what is possible.