Having a panic attack! I can't fix the mess I made!

[Ali1226172]

Helppppppppp it's 1:00am and all I can think about is shoving all the narcotics into my body that I can!! Ok I am not literally going to do this nor do I want to relapse and I wont but, I am seriously having a panic attack!! I have two weeks left of school and my stupid addiction has been more importan than school until now, and I just don't think I can get a semesters worth of work done in two weeks!! :( I'm crying hysterical with coffee trying to type a paper...omg I need support?? What if I fail?? Everyone will think I'm a failure! I can't believe I let this get to this point..... listen up everyone DONT DO DRUGS!! IT WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE, AND TAKE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING GOOD AWAY FROM YOU!! RIGHT WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT TOO, THE DRUGS ARE SNEAKING LITTLE ***** AND WILL STEAL YOUR LIFE WHILE YOUR BLINDED BY THEIR SWEET TASTE!! :(

[Ali1226172]

Thanks everyone...when I get this stressed my normal reaction is to use! However, this time I feel so different, I feel like I hate where the pills have brought me, and I feel very angry!  I'm so angry that I'm an addict.  I'm so angry that those stupid little pills controlled my mind for this long.  I'm angry that I never fought back, and I let them steal my life.  I'm angry that I didn't even realize what was happening until just now!! I'm just angry..... I guess this is a normal part of healing.  Thanks Mayberry you really helped make me feel like failing wont kill me.  If I failing a class helps me to get and stay clean than I guess I can't be too upset. I'm still going to fight to finish my papers but, I am no longer willing to sacrafic my well-being in order to do so!! I'm not a dam machine running on little blue pills anymore, I'm just me, I'm just a twenty something young lady who has hit a big bump in the round, and now has the change to turn it all around!!  I feel confident today that no matter what happens I have succeeded!! I'm kicking my addiction's *** right now, and that's more important to me than a class right now.  If I have to graduate a semester later in order to take care of my health than so be it.  I'm sick of trying to be super woman, I'm NOT i'm just me Ali and I'm OK!!
Lots of love to all....Anyone and everyone who read this please fight your addiction, it's the best feeling in the world knowing that I was able to get off roxys!  I never ever thought I could do this, and this time I feel like nothing can ever bring me back!!  This is my farewell to you roxy and oxy!! Today I cut the strings that you held me under for so long!! No longer am I your little puppet...I'm my own master, and I decide how my life will be!! Goodbye sweet pills, you will never own my soul again!  So here I am left alone to face the depths of hell my addiction has brought me to, and for some reason I feel OK! I'm no longer going to worry about the past or the things I can not control.  I will just pray for strength to keep clean, and make the changes needed to live a happy/healthy sober life!

(Sorry for the random outburst, but I feel like a woke up today with a million pound weight lifted off me!)

[AJRC323]

Another thing you could try (this might be hard. It was for me at first) is sitting down and try to identify what emotions you're feeling and what is causing those emotions. Write it down even. You'll probably have a few emotions attatched to each trigger, that's normal.

[Ella789]

A Dr. gave my son some very interesting sugestions for his panic attacks.  He said that some people actualy benefit from immediate excercise,  get up and do jumping jacks,  go for a short run,  do enough to match the panic going on in your body.  My son said that it really did work for him,  to address it right at onset.  He also reminds himself that this is neurological with him,  that he will not be dieing over it.  He said the attacks started to come less and less often and now it has been over a month since the last one and it didn't last anytime with the excercise and positive feedback.     Panic attacks are debilitating and frightening experiences,  esp. if a person doesn't know what is happening to them.   I think that with others peoples' attacks they need to make a plan,  do what they can about their problems and carry on.  Just do the best you can and if you can cut corners, then do it.    Make sure you are healthy enough to do the excercise first,   see a Dr. for some good advice,  what works for some maynot work for others, but it is worth the try.  Witsend and my-mayberry have some really good advice too.  Best wishes to you.


Ella

[dominosarah]

Take some deep breaths.......Take one paper at a time.  Try to prioritize your work load with school.  You are getting way to overwhelmed.......Now breath again.....The caffeine will make you edgy too.......take another breath.......You will get thru this...sara

[my_mayberry]

what if you fail? you do it again.

life is all about failing until we succeed. it's a natural part of life. no good comes out of worrying about it. taking a few minutes and calming yourself down and telling yourself that you can only do your best and whatever happens happens....that will do you far more good than freaking out.

you could fail, but if you do it isn't the end of the world. whats the worst that could happen? when you really think about it, at the end of your life looking back on it...what are the things you truly would care most about? certainly not failing a class in school.

i've certainly burned some of my own bridges with my addiction. looking back isn't so bad though...because ultimately it has created a change in my future. i see the oppurtunities i've missed now and it has taken that to help me actually make real efforts to get clean. some days i win and some days i don't.


anyway, at the very least i hope you'll be able to calm down and relax. just do the best u can and whatever happens happens.

[witsend0603]

Ok.. first of all ... I have had the panic attacks too.... a wonderful psychologist gave me some wonderful techniques to try and they are very simple... first would be deep breathing... breathe deeply in through the nose .. hold ... then slowly out through the mouth ... do this until you feel the attack begin to subside...

another technique she taught me was .... run a tub of hot water .. as hot as you can stand it without burning yourself.... emerse yourself as far as you can in the hot water but especially your hands and feet.... this is where your stress nerve endings are to your entire body .... try the breathing also while you are in the tub... this also helps... the hot water helps to calm the nerve endings in the hands and feet and thus putting your entire body into a natural state of relaxation... and it really does work if you give it a chance... take a break from your paper for a short bit and try some of these suggestions .... it may help your body and mind to calm down so you can concentrate on what you need to ..... best of luck and let me know how it works for you