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So... like the infamous line from the begining of the Film: Hangover... I ****** Up !

So so easy to slip and fall... after 5 days of trying.. going cold turkey I cudnt.. do it.. I got weak.. Pathetic eh ?

Then it got worse.. I convinced a weaker minded Dr I was strong enough to have my scripts weekly again.. !
And that was it.. I was burning through Codeine once again.. WTF !!!

After running out I started to manipulate the system.. anyway I could.. until I got caught out.. AGAIN...
is this really my life ? Drugs..? Lies....? Pressure on those that love me...?

So.. to now.. tonight.. day 4 of no codeine.. On Weds I go back to daily scripts of 30mgx6 a day...
my own fault.. !
But.. what if.. I could hang on.. go through it... fight it.. idk.. I have so much doubt in my mind over such things.. and you know.. I have come to realise one single thing.. MOST Dr s couldn't give a toss about the addictions we have... in that there seems to be no help out there for us.. its pretty much.. you did it.. your fault now deal with it.. yes it *****.. yes its going be hard.. but.. your on your own.. !

OR...

oh.. that's bad here take these drugs.. they will help you.. and you end up swapping one addiction for another...

A recent report in the Times showed that now Drug Addiction ( Over the Counter/ Prescription Drugs ) Are now the single biggest issue facing the NHS... !
I wonder why ???

I'm sorry for my anger.. frustration..

I'm just sick and tired of living my life like this... !
3 Responses
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1831920 tn?1320857757
Do you have to get your script filled on Wed?  You made it 4 days why screw it up and get your script filled.?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey dude first off you got to relize its not the pills thats the problem there covering it it is the escape your after your going to have to face off with the demons that haunt you in order to fix the problem now there are many ways to do that if you prefer one on one there is substance abuse counselors or addiction thraipist if you broke and just want help N/A or A/A is hard to beet the programs are free and work if you work them but in order to break froee from this you are going to have to change the very way you think and reason
no one is forcing you to take pills it is a choice we can help you detox when your ready but first its all about attitude you got to want it good luck and God bless......Gnarly  
Helpful - 0
1801781 tn?1461629469
It is a relapse and not the end of the world, although it may seem like it.  As long as we learn something from each relapse it is a step in the right direction.  Are you ready to try to quit again?  Maybe going to some NA meetings will help you get there.  You do not have to be clean to go, you just have to want to quit.  I hope you make the choice for life after drugs.  It is pretty good on this side of it.  :)
Helpful - 0
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