Update on my husband

[jayln81]

So last night after I got paid he went and got more so that he wouldnt be sick anymore.  It pains me to see him like this because he is such a strong man and this addiction has got him by the balls.  I feel like I am dying inside watching our family fall apart again.  I am scared for him and for the welfare of our family.  If there is anyone out there who ever thought of trying heroin just once....DON'T!!!  Because no matter how strong you are and no matter how much you set your mind on not being an addict, it only takes one, and then its got you.  I cant believe I never saw the signs being around addiction.  He has lost so much weight he has gone down 3 notches in his belt.  I am watching this herion make him who he his now.  He is lost with out it.  I've been through addiction with cocaine, crack, alcohol....I never saw anything as horrifying as heroin.  The damndest part is that he wants to get into a detox treatment center and there are no beds again today, so here we go again.

[worried878]

I feel for you but he really is the one who has to do the work...he has to want this..to be clean....he is lucky he has u for support

[JAXX55]

Downey and Ready To help have some great advice for you, along with many others here. I was once an addict myself, and would have been sooo lucky to have found this sight during that time. Instead, I struggled with it all by myself. I hope and pray you two will find a way to come out of this. I pray you keep your children safe and happy too. Best Wishes to you both. Good Luck...  =)

[Friend999]

Wow!  He is reading these posts!

To jayln81's husband:  You have a very concerned and supportive wife who loves you and will be there for you.  You are VERY lucky in that regard.

I will give you the same advise I gave her, please keep reading on this site, read the answers to her posts, read other posts about many others who are trying to get clean.  GAIN KNOWLEDGE about your situation.  With knowledge you can make better decisions as to how you want to get clean.  Then establish your plan and execute.  The wonderful people on this site will provide support, love, answers, and congratulations.
No matter how strong you think you are, get humility with your resolve, your strength, and accept the loving help of others.

My very best to you.

Friend999

[jayln81]

Thank you so much for ALL your support, it has really been a help and a blessing.  I have been making some phone calls today and reaching out to friends that I had made during my time of addiction.  We are both working on getting support that we need.  He hasnt gotten any suboxone yet but a friend of mine through the program has a husband that just relapsed with Heroin and he said he had a few he could spare for my husband.  Is that really safe though?  Will that help him until he can properly detox?? As far as the children go, they are very young but rezilliant.  Thats why we dont want to have him detoxing on the couch and I dont want to remove him from the home when he really is trying to get into a detox center.  I dont really know, its very difficult to make any rash decisions on my end right now because I am so numb and just learning about this and I dont want to make a decision that would hurt our family further if that makes any sense?
Please keep posting, I need all the support and suggestions I can get.  He is reading these postings as well so any advice anyone can offer to him, he is open.  Thankyou and God Bless

[ready2help]

My heart really goes out to you. What a stressful time. And scary. And....all of it.

However, as the non-addict and a parent (I think you said you have kids), it is imperative that you take whatever control you can. Can't control him - that's a fact. However, you can make decisions for yourself and kids. They need protecting. I don't mean in the physical sense, really - more in the emotional trauma realm.  Living with an addicted parent is like a legacy - the kids carry it forward with them and it becomes part of their fabric as people - and it is like a brain imprint (there are even research studies not showing how trauma affects kids' neurochemistry).

This is where boundaries come in. I would imagine you have been told thios before. I just want to throw that out to you. Do not allow him to trash you, the kids, youre finances, etc. No reason for it.  Just set your limits and stick to it. Alanon support may help.

Sometimes you have to BRING THE BOTTOM UP TO MEET THE ADDICT - that's the underlying philosophy of doing an intervention.  Most addicts will take suggestions when backed in to a corner. Not all - many. Have you considered doing a professional intervention?

Please take care of yourself and the kids. If he really wants some help, he will go and talk to a professional about it. Just running around, scoring, getting loaded, and making promises may not get him anywhere. And it's making your life and your kids' lives hell.

Please get yourself some solid support - you'll need it. My prayers are with you.

[desperate1111]

bless your heart! i hope a bed becomes available soon. he is lucky to have you for support.

[Downey]

I wish I had some great words of wisdom for you but I don't. Other than to say it's a good thing he wants to get into a detox place. If it was my husband, where I'm at I would probably just drop him off at a hospital er room when he was going into wd's and see what they would do. Most hospitals in my area have a detox unit in it. You could probably Baker Act him and say he was dangerous to himself and they would take him and maybe put him into a detox facility. Not very good suggestions but they are all I can think off.

Jules

[malenurse57]

My prayers are with you

[duckandcover]

No drug can make a person want to quit.  If he really wants to quit suboxone can help him (along with aftercare).  If he doesn't want to give it up then you probably have to think of your family first.

my prayers are yours.

[faith_hope_love]

Jayln, you have to be so scared, I will be praying that a bed opens for him soon.  I hope you get alot of responses from people that have been on heroin before and can give more advice.  Lyn

[Friend999]

My nightly prayers are for you and your husband.

You said he wants to get into a detox center, so it appears he wants to quit.  SO IMPORTANT.

There will be many responses to follow, responses from people that are more knowledgeable than I am.

Keep the faith and determination.  

My best,

Friend999

[lifesaride]

has he tried suboxone, i was sniffin 8) 80 oc's a day, and no been  on suboxone 20 days.