Help I've been fooled

[rogjblloyd]

In love with bf for 3 years till the last 6 months he has been taking at least 8-9 perc 10's a day and now says he is quitting - can't handle all the pills.  Heard this before when 1 month ago he drove me insane with his horrible attitude towards me and made me feel I was the one who was insane which I did feel like.  I finally went to a doctor who prescribed me meds that did drive me insane when all along it was him.  He constantly goes over his limit with the doctor and quits all the time.  This time he took all (105 pills) in 1 week and a friend of his is keeping him in about 2 a day till his doctor appointment.  He said he is done but today says he is having teeth work done and they won't give him enough pain meds (supposed he knows its Tylenol 3??) so when he goes back to the doctor he will again take what she gives him - another 105 for 20 days.  I am so trying to get my life back on track after being convinced I am not the bad guy and called his doctor and told her what he is doing hoping to help him (because he said he wanted to "quit").  He constantly complains about his back and constantly tells me what he has done and how much he took that day - never mind about me or anything important to me.  Please, someone, tell me, this is got to be the end, because I am getting to hate him and is problem, but he always sweet-talks me back and says I don't understand his pain.  I believe Alanon is probably the answer??
Robin

[mo2000]

Men love to abuse women who they feel they monetarily control!!  They KNOW they can take advantage!!

Kick the job search into high gear.  You have a legal spread of time before they can evict you!! Honestly, God will help you find a way.  Even if you don't believe in God, then just think of it as kharma!! When we help ourselves, everything else has a way of falling into place!!

Show him you DON'T need him!! I know you can do it.. just gotta put your mind to it!!  Hopefully he will see the light for himself, and hopefully by that time you are over it!! It will be a very powerful feeling!

[IBKleen]

Hi,

I am sorry this happened to you but it is for the best in the long run. Get on with your life. Things have a way of working out and I have a feeling this will as well.

When you get settled and on your feet, take some time for YOU. Don't jump back into a relationship. Get to know for a while. If you have been involved with two different drug addicts in 8 years, it is time to step back. You seem like a nice person...don't keep doing this to yourself.

Take care. If you need to talk about your boyfriend, you are always welcome to do so here.

[rogjblloyd]

I guess the relationship has come to an abrupt ending.  While he has been lying and not coming over and abusing me verbally, I tried my hardest to not let it bother me and talk to him only when necessary.  As I said before, he has been making up stories and saying he needed at least 5 weeks worth of pills - for his use and replace his roommates.  I went with him and agreed with his doc that he was abusing the pills and she only gave him 2 weeks worth.  He said he hated me, to lose his number etc.  While I know it's for the best, he has been helping me monitarily since I lost my job and I hated allowing him to do this to me, but now, I could be homeless for the second time in 8 years due to a drug addict taking and taking and forcing me leave.  He won't answer my calls, which I should not even be calling but I have no idea whether I will have a place to live or bills paid (I doubt it).  Why, when he was the *******, do I have to lose everything?  So, I guess the answer to my question is already being answered - leave him alone? and pray for a job real quick which I have been searching for for a long time.  Being left alone was my biggest fear but I knew this day would come - it just *****.

[jamajessie]

Get out while you can there are more fish in the sea. It's not the fact that he takes all the pills thats an illness of its on. It's the fact that he keeps putting you down and making you feel like your the one with a problem( and he is making you believe it). Yes he needs help with his drug problem but you have tried in the past. He wont stop till he is ready and you can't make him you tried to help him he doesn't want it. Quit letting him abuse you. You deserve better than that. He is not going to change. He needs mental help and addiction help. Until he gets it get out. He so bad and tuff lets see how he does on his own without you.

[IBKleen]

Hi Ladybugv,

There is a lot of help for you here and I would be happy to talk with you and help any way I can. First, I have to suggest that you start your own post. You came in on someone else's thread and it will be difficult to follow as members will be answering both them and you.

Go to the top of this page, hit the green "Post A Question" button and copy and paste exactly what you have here. If you need help, give a shout.

We'll talk in the new post.

[ladybugv]

I am married to a crazy man hooked on oxys.  He married me under false pretenses and took me to Rhode Island (the land of the crazies and druggies) I had no idea he had this problem and I am stuck in a situation that is unbelievable.  His sister and brother were both heroin addicts so he says and since he declared that early on in our relationship I just knew that he wasn't a user.  He has lied and stolen from me.  He has teenagers that are on the verge of being evil brats.  His ex overdosed two years ago and they found her on the floor when they got home from school, in a coma.  She's in a nursing home unable to take care of herself because of her brain injuries from drugs and I feel like I'm living a nightmare.  Joe is sick and is making himself sicker as the days go by taking all these pills.  I have no idea what to do for him as his family (father, sister) hate me.  Always have since I got here.  I'm the one that is responsible and works and pays bills, he's living in a house on the other side of town from me with his kids.  He hasn't paid his mortgage in months, his water and other utilities are constantly being turned off, he's running a scam with his job - been out on workman's comp for 2 years!!!  He's trying to get something for nothing from that and he just doesn't seem to understand that his life is this f-d up!!  After all the crap that I've been through with him I don't know if I can take anymore.  Everyday I feel like I'm in a fight or flight mode.  I have a steady job, apartment and I've got my health but I'm so unhappy with the circumstances of being married to a complete drug addict that cares about nothing else but that.  A part of me wants to help him the other part wants to run away.  I can't - I have to work and have a place to live.  What ever does someone do with this kind of thing in their life??

[rn01896]

Robin, I am sooooo sympathetic to the hell you are going thru right now. my husband is an addict and it is killing me to not be able to help him. He has been thru detox a few times and every time he says this is it and promises to change, but then due to some medical conditions he has, ends right back on the percocets or vicodins. He has tried giving them to me so I can give them to him when he needs them and try to regulate his use, but I find him sneaking around behind my back to get them out of my purse/car/bag/etc. He constantly lies to me notjust about his drug use, but  now about everything, to the point that I do not believe anything he says anymore. I hate feeling this way, I do understand the drug disease and why he got to this point. But you have to realize, this is his problem, and he had to accept it and deal with it. This is not your fault at all, it is the addicts way to push the problem off on to someone else so they do not have to actually deal with their problem. It is easier for them to blame someone else. Alanon probably is the way for you to go to get the help and support you need. you have to realize this is going to be a way of life for you if you decide to stay in the relationship. Even if your bf gets clean, it will be a lifetime commitment to stay clean and the cravings and wants will always be there for him. You need to decide if this is really what you want to do for yourself. I wish you the best of luck and lots of prayers. Please feel free to email me if you need to talk.Karen

[dominosarah]

There is nothing you can do for him until he is ready to help himself.  All you can do right now is take care of yourself.  You cant change him but you can change how you react to the situation.  We are master manipulators so the sweet talking doesnt surprise me.  Focus on you as you are important.......sara

[leeisgettingclean]

you can not change him. I am sorry to say it like that--but its true. If anything we will push you out og\f his life if he feels that you  are coming between him and his "joy" . IMO..you need to walk away for a while and let him find out what his praorities (misspelled but i think you get it) are. If that id\s yyou--we will get the help needed to keep you--if he does not do that than that means your not number one to him anyways...dont waste your life standing beside an addict who would push you aside for his pills---I am not trying to be mean and if its takin that way i am sorry. If you need to talk email me. Good luck, Lee