Will all addicts use if they have access to pills?

[Pat1956100]

I am really wondering about this.  I know if I have access to pills I will take them.  They will haunt me and I will end up giving in.  I have learned that because I have done it over and over again.  I have no control when I am offered pills.  I have no control when I know that they are available to me.
Does this get easier?  Do you reach a point where you can walk away?  If you had pills now would you take them?

[Pat1956100]

OH I am so sorry.  Thank you so much for taking the time to share that.  I will be thinking of you and of course you will be in my prayers.  I would want pills to numb me too yet I know that would be the last thing your father would want for you right now.  You are a brave lady and I hope you will post on here and keep us updated because I can tell how much you are loved by everyone here.  
Hugs
Pat

[JenKitty92]

It justs depends on the person,  how far they were addicted and how far they are in their recovery. For me, no, I have access and have no intention of taking them again. Why?  Because the withdrawal scared the living **** outta me.  I NEVER EVER EVER want to feel like that again.  The racing heart freaked me out so bad, I actually thought I was going to die.  I know that's normal, but not for me.  I'm on a different pain management regime and feeling good.  If I ever were to think about taking a pill, I will remember that withdrawal feeling.  Your mind has to be in a place where it will reject that thought of using again. Me taking another pill is NOT an option.  

[Dane74]

Hey Pat, For me I'm only 8 months clean (again) and man do i still crave them.  I am fortunate that i never used with friends or had a dealer as mine was all from a doctor with that being said there are still ways for me to get it....And yes, i have come up with very crafty ideas and ones that i am even to ashamed to even say.  I am learning that i have to change my mind set, i have to STOP the romance as they are the ENEMY!  Reflect back to why you stopped in the first place, remember your bottom, and i have to say all the times i had my bout of relapse the "high" just $ucked, i am not even kidding, i got sick and all it did was make me so darn mad and the feeling of being a failure is just not worth it.

Check this out!!!


You put the devil out, but you let him leave his bags. Never quite looked at it like this before...

You got out of a bad relationship because it was bad, but you are still resentful and angry. You let the devil leave his bags.

You got out of a bad habit or addiction, but you still long to try it just one more time.You let the devil leave his bags.

You said, I forgive you, but you can't seem to forget and have peace with that person. You let the devil leave his bags.

You broke off your relationship with that hurtful and abusive person, but you are suspicious and distrusting of every new person you meet. You let the devil leave his bags.

You decided to let go of the past hurts from growing up in an unstable family environment; yet you believe you are unworthy of love from others, and you refuse to get attached to anyone. You let the devil leave his bags.

When you put the devil out, please make sure he takes his bags. ~Author Unknown~

[brandiroars386]

Absolutely wonderful post!  I am making sure the devil takes his bags.

[Pat1956100]

I am just really tired of failing.  They get in my head so bad and I am romancing them for sure.  I may just work on that goodbye letter,  I need to say goodbye to a lot of things.  Sigh.

[Dane74]

Pat,  please write that "break up" letter, it does help.  You have been battling this for so long, its really time Pat, to have the life you so deserve.  I am going to share with you the letter i wrote over a year ago, not much to it, but after i just read it again, it is powerful.....

   My break up letter to my addiction

Listen you stupid, careless, inconsiderate addiction I'm on to you now. You see I'm a good person, yes I've made mistakes but as they say I'm human and god died on the cross for my sins, my family, I love them more than anything, I enjoy their love, smiles, I love having a beautiful group of people share my life, all the beautiful things in life places we've been and yet to see. I don't deserve to shake, sweat and feel insecure I spent so much of my life feeling that already I've paid my dues where pain is concerned and I deserve to have the next half of my life off that kind of pain, my suffer/pain bank is full. I don't love you although in the beginning I fooled myself I did , I don't even like you your a insidious, evil, cruel entity in my life and quite frankly your ugly, you do nothing nice for people except take advantage and consume people your so needy,,, I have to let you go because there is another way to live one where I forgive myself for any bad choices I made in my past including dealing with you. I know you'll come back
In a few weeks and beg me to be with you but I'm stronger, wiser than you and I'm letting you know  FU CK off, you can't have me anymore I need me. Take care and drop dead.