alternate pain treatment

[angie8910]

I have been in horrible pain since a hysterectomy 4 years ago.  I have tried EVERYTHING with no relief.  During this time I have been on narcotics.  They have been the only thing that have given me any relief.  I now am feeling that these pills are taking over my life.  I have lost interest in everything but the pills.  I am looking into inpatient detox as I know I can not do it myself.  I am really afraid of what the pain might be like without them and what to do about the pain.  What if I detox and can not handle the pain?  I am terrified but I am also terrified to continue taking these pills.

[angie8910]

I get to drive there.  Pretty area and I am staying a whole month.  I decided if I am going to do this, I am going to do it all the way.  I have suffered a great deal of trauma for four years and I have never stopped.  I need it to be about me and I need to work on some things about me.  This has effected me deeply mentally.  I will be living there and going to meetings.  It will all be something very new for me but the more I talk to all of you the more okay I feel about it.  I have a wonderful husband, son and daughter in law and grandson.  My husband and I have been together 37 years.  He is so worried about being away from me for so long.  How sweet but he will certainly survive!
I can not thank you all enough.

[angie8910]

I SOOOO know.  Mine is nerve pain too and they have never located the entrapped nerve.  Too large an area and they concentrated on the abdomen and now 4 years later they think it is in the pelvis.  I think they have no clue.  You are so right about nerve pain being an indescribable pain.  Never have I ever felt anything like it.  Before I allow any more procedures etc..I need to see where my pain really is.  These pills may not be doing much to help me anymore.  I just may be used to them.  I still have pain on them so it may not change so much.  I do think it will feel much much worse before it feels better.  I am trying to prepare for that.  That is why I wanted inpatient.  I wanted to feel safe and protected and if I tried to stop on my own, it would never happen.  I know that.  I will let everyone know how it goes.  I will be off the grid for a month as they do not allow computers or cell phones as people have taken pictures.  ******* people who have no clue.  Thank you and I am so sorry for your suffering.  I know of what you speak.  I have been suicidal as the pain at one point was so unbearable and I could not come to terms with all the loss you experience.

[weaver71]

Just wanted to congratulate you on the best decision you will ever make. You seem to have a good plan and the courage to make the change. I wanted to remind you of rebound pain, the pain that one feels due to withdrawals, because you have no natural defenses. I feel far less pain off the meds. I feel pain for sure, but being clear enough to rest when needed and aware of my limitations, has made me able to manage my pain with actions, rather than drugs. I too have tried everything, my back started pinching nerves at age 11. Nothing hurts like nerve pain. I will have pain my entire life, but I will have a life, and so will you. Keep that fight in your heart and you will make a new life, better than you can imagine. Keep us posted on your progress. Can't wait to hear how the program helped you change your life.

[angie1609]

Hi Angie (im Angie too!)
Anyways....i can sort of relate...in some type of way i guess. I am 25 and have bad Endometriosis, Pelvic Congestion Syndrome, and constant cysts that always rupture. I have had surgeries, etc, and still have always suffered with extreme pelvic pain every day. We have one child, and after we have our next (and most likely last) we will probably opt for a hysterectomy in hopes that i will find relief.

Best of luck to you, and hold your head high

[VICourageous]

Hi angie..Are you flying there??Or driving?? Oh the Husbands..I have been married for 27 years and he just took care of everything..I had no worry in the World That is what all the Girls in there kept saying.."Focus on You and You only"well that was a little hard at first considering my age and my stubbornness..They would not let me call him for 10 days..But now I can understand it all...Is this a place that will have you go to meetings after the detox state????Take it as a vacation and go all the way..Like clean said you do meet alot of wonderful people..I still call some from this day...Good Job!

[angie8910]

Thank you both for the great advice.  I will be packing this weekend.  I told my Board I would be taking a personal medical leave of absence for a month.  Give myself the time I need.  If i go back sooner, so be it.  So far I have gotton responses like blees you, get well etc..  They know I am working my tail off to get things in place so there is the least amount of disruption.  I am soooooo exhausted but that is good in a way.  Thank you for the advice on what to bring.  They say only one plastic bag but then when I go to housing, they say someone  can bring you more things if you need it.  I now have to figure out where to tell my mom and certain friends where I am.  I have to cancel a couple things I am invited to.  Plus they won't see me on FB or email.  I don't want to leave that with my husband....No...I really do!!  He was tough as he was almost being discouraging but then opened up to how we have never been apart that long and how he would miss me.  I assured him he would like me a lot better when I came home!  It was good we talked.  I'll take any other advice.  I admire all of you.  Change takes great courage (real change).  I am fortunate to be able to do this.

[clean_in_ks]

Hey Angie!  Just read your whole thread here.....you are AMAZING!  You sound like you already have the 3 biggies of HOW it works...down pat...
H=honesty...O=openmindedness...W=willingness.  That truly IS HOW it works and you have a great plan.

I can share about my inpatient experience with you (some) lol if I can get my memory to work....it was a VERY long time ago.....I took a 30 day leave of absence from work.  Many rehab places have a list of things you will really NEED to bring and also many have things they do NOT want you to bring.  Their web site may give you that info (the one I went to has a list provided on their web site) or a phone call to them, perhaps, could help you with those details.

The two words I would share with you to keep in mind as you pack:  COMFORT....and SIMPLICITY...Take clothes that you are totally comfortable in.. I also took my pillow (ha) and other creature comforts with me.  The policies and guidelines will differ for each place, but one thing is for sure....this time will MAJORLY bless you.  I understand what you are saying about "never working on you".  Also, about feeling your lifeline to the world being cut off without your phone or computer....BUT.....that will end up being a HUGE blessing for you I promise!  I was basically "forced" to look withn...and work ONLY on me by not having contact with the outside world and all it's multiple distractions..  Focusing on YOU and your RECOVERY will change your life forever.  It's one of the BEST presents you will ever give yourself!
  
I have to tell you something funny......I was SO scared when I went.....and I was ALSO scared when I left. lol   Let me explain... I was scared for TOTALLY different reasons....when I went, of course, I didn't know what to expect and I was unsure about everything in my life at that time.... and when it was time to go home, I wasn't sure I wanted to leave that "safe",
"protected", "LOVING" environment.

I was told "take what you like, Connie, and let the rest go."  I DID do that and having that attitude helped me A LOT.   I learned SO much and met so many wonderful people.  There was a routine and I was kept very busy working on myself.  I became SO comfortable while I was there.  I hadn't seen or known the clean and sober ME for a VERY long time.  I, of course, hadn't developed any confidence that I could go "back out in the world" and handle all the stress, situations, relationships, work, etc. that fill our daily lives.  But I faithfully went to meetings, made clean and sober friends, went to camp outs, dances, retreats, etc. with others just like me that were determined to live their lives clean and sober.  It was SO freeing and grand!

I want to encourage you to take as much time as you possibly can off from work.  If we don't have time to be sick.....we must MAKE time to get well.
And 21 days is not all that long in the big scheme of things.  

I sure hope you will continue to post and share your journey....I'll be here rootin for you as each day passes~    

[VICourageous]

Hi ang..Good Job..You will want to take very comfortable clothes..Like lounge around clothes..If it is warm take shorts and such..Take a light Jacket..My place was on the lake so we got to go out on the Boat..They usually take away the things with alcohol in them..They give it all back..Get non alcohol mouth wash and hair spays and things like that..I got a pre-paid card and put money on it..I did not know they were going to hold it..They did go shopping for me when I needed something..Like candy or makeup..cigs..Just go by how the Weather is..and be very comfortable..maybe a few nice things in case you go out to the movies..I left my Jewelry at home..I did not have to leave my wedding ring..Missed it..Wish you the Best..It will be just fine..I did learn alot in there..I wish you well on this Journey..You can do it.I seen alot of people who were feeling just great in 3-4 days...Even came in feeling good...OK Do Not worry..You will like it..

[selfinduced]

SOOOO EXCITED for you Ang! This plan sounds like one that you'll be happy with. I am bumping this up in hopes others who have done inpatient can help guide you some and ease any fears. I so commend you for jumping in with both feet and getting your life uprighted. It will be the best thing you've ever done. xx

[angie8910]

I found a place where I can inpatient detox and then live in an off campus house for 2 to 3 weeks. They recommend at least three weeks but I have to work with my job.  Anyone with this experience?  Do you usually bring everything you need for both with you?  I am a little afraid to be gone for so long but yet excited to have all this time to work on me which I have never had.  I think it is part of the reason I got into this situation.  Never time to work on me.  Always running to work and helping everyone else.  No distractions will feel weird.  It has never been all about me.  How different!  I am starting to get scared and it is hard to get it all together before going.  Aiming to go next Wed. Mostly will miss not having a phone or my computer. My lifeline to the world. Would love to hear from anyone who has gone this route.

[selfinduced]

Morning Ang, You hit the nail on the head about wanting to laugh again. That was an ah hah moment for me. I had lost all joy in my life from being on these pills. It is really cool when you belly laugh for the first time post detox. Anyway, I sent you a pm. Go to your home page and click on "in box" , or messages. I also sent you a note. Your pain needs to be addressed for sure and the only way to fully gage it is by getting the drugs out of your system. Hope today goes well and you get some answers re: rehab. Don't let the stories on here scare you, once you get a plan your anxiety will be relieved. Right now the fear is the unknown. Keep posting. Oh, hopefully others will be able to give you some insight about using sub's for detox.

[angie8910]

selfinduced....how can we talk privately?  I don't know how this works.
The other posts have given more to think about and it is causing me more anxiety!!!! ahhh....    The reason I like the idea of inpatient is that you are monitored and you just get off in a matter of days.  The end.  Then I see what I have to deal with and I do have a good doctor willing to help me out post detox.  As he said, you might find you really don't need them and they are not helping you like you thought.  Otherwise he is willing to try other meds and even mild narcotics on a low level if necessary.  Hard to know right now as nerve pain in itself is a very tricky and frustrating and debilitating pain.  Never in my life had I felt something like that.  I could not function.  At least the pills allowed me relief enough to keep my job.  Ibuprofen etc... does not even touch this and neither did any other scripts.  At this point though I just don't know where I'm at.  Suboxene is something they say they use to detox you.  Is that a good thing?  It will be expensive to go but my husband would have difficulty watching me in pain and he would give me the meds.  I know him.  I might have to kill him and no one wants that....ha.  I told him he would have to get rid of all my meds while I'm gone so there is no access...period.  The weird thing is I look forward to not having these meds run my life and be able to do things without thinking about them and to actually have a drink.  I haven't had a drink in four years and I always loved to have a good time now and then.  I want to really laugh and really want to be with the people I love.  I have some pain still anyway on the pills so maybe it won't increase too much and I can learn to live with it.    That's my hope.  Thank you all.  You have no idea how much this validates my thoughts and feelings.  It takes someone who has walked in your shoes to understand.  You are all wonderful people.  : )

[VICourageous]

Hi..I just wanted to chime in here..I too suffer in alot of pain that comes and goes..I stared out with the hydo/oxys for the same reason as you..I had cramps that knocked me down..I tried to quite these pill only to get hooked..I used this excuse to get the methadone..I went on a excuse ride for 12yrs to get them..Had the clonazepam ..After the hysterectomy, I know my days were numbered..I did get down to 15mg from a long high ride..I started to snort the adderral with them to make them stench out longer..I was going back up and up again..I did go and get help..All they did was c/t from all three Meds...NOT GOOD!!! My detox process took a very, very long time and I went into many Stages..I am riding in my 7 month and feeling OK..BUT..Now this is just from my own experience.I think if you get a good taper plan from the DR..Give the pills to someone to hand them out to you and they do not break when you are pleating for more and get to some AA/NA for more Support..AND Hang on with us because we can help you get through the w/ds stages on what, how and why we use what we do..You will find alot of people here that have great natural or otc things that works for there pain..We have all been in those shoes you are wearing..But if you do want a treatment center make sure you know exactly what they are going to use for you..Most of them will give you the Cloindine (BP) and a Buspar for anxiety..I am telling you the truth, that if I would of found this site I do believe I could of saved a lot of money and had that Tractor in my Yard I so need in the Winter..
May the Lord be with you and whatever you decide to do..

[overopiates]

I feel for u.U r on a lot of different pain meds.Just to be clear u can NOT dies fom quitting pain meds at home.Xanax though u need to taper slowly but u r on 1mg a day which if ur n good health u will feel bad but its not a danger fromt that small of an amount but please talk to ur dr because if u r prone to siezures or have health issues of another kind that could cause a problem its a possible risk.You CAN do this at home i need be.I never say people should taper from paun meds cause usually we cant but I really think u should with what the different meds(especially opana and oxy).u say u like the oxy too much(join the club of people who like there pain pills).Do u have someone(a spouse,sibling,parent,close friend)that could dole out the proper amount to u for a taper if u do it at home?I like the idea of being n ur own home.I would suggest not to quit ur xanax at the same time as opiates.The xanax can be a real lifesaver during opiate w/d and if u end up doing out patient quitting both at the same time sounds awful.I think any of us with actual pain issues r terrified of the pain but the reality is u have no clue what ur real pain is.These pills will create a lot more pain than u actually have.The more u take the stronger the pills the more pain we think we have.You will see after30,60,90dayd the pain is FAR less than wheat we think.I was SHOCKED(after years myself of real,severe pain I didnt realize I had about 1/10th the pain I thought).U r blessed to have a dr who knows u want to quit as well which is such a blessing because he can help ur through this.There r meds that can be prescribed to help ease withdrawl(clonidine helps quite a bit).Also other meds to help.Inpatient is probably gonna do a suboxone treatment(oupatient as well)if u dont tell them u want to taper which is a huge at home benefit.The last thing u want is to be addicted to something else that is harder to get off of

[selfinduced]

Hey Angie, Thats sounds awful about your pain. I have to agree about the meds probably not helping at this point. I also got further addicted because of a hysterectomy, but I'll pm ya the details (haha). You've done the gamit of pain solutions . I hate to say this, but you may have to get used to a minimal level of irritation in life to get off this stuff, but I sooooooo promise it will be well worth it. It is the most bizarre thing, but once off the meds the pain seems to dissipate. I think these meds trick our mind into thinking we are more dyer than we are to continue to feed our addiction. I too am 51 and couldn't do inpatient (but I'd of jumped at the chance) cause I detoxed,w/d and in recovery secretly. It is working for me, but additional support especially in the beginning would have been a much easier road. I pounded B6, B12,A good multivitamin, protein powder,zinc and post detox alot of vitamin D to get my hair, nails, and skin back to normal. The pills rob us nutritionally of so much so the extra suppliments honestly do make a huge difference . Can you do outpatient detox?

[angie8910]

Post hysterectomy nerve pain.  A pain I had never fely in my life and never heard of.  I have had other surgeries and there is pain but it goes away.  When my gyno had zero idea of what to do she sent me to the pain doc.  Countless meds, additional surgery, PT, acupuncture, hollistic meds,laser treatments and thousands of dollars later...  you name it I did it.  I think I might be worse than I was 4 years ago but in different ways.  The pain is very real and nothing really works for nerve pain.  I went to a eurogynocologist who feels it is not abdominal but pelvic and she injured muscle and nerve during surgery.  I am set up for another shot also in that whole area on the 23rd.  It would be awesome if I got the shot and it worked and then I went to detox.  Life never works in the order you want so I can't keep saying I am going to wait.  That day may never come.  There may be nothing that helps plus these meds really cloud things.
I think I need to get off the meds as I may find they are not really doing much at this point.  You are SO right about the seasick.  I couldn't find the word.  Did you do inpatient detox?  I am 55 years old and I get afraid of being with young heroin addicts off the street.
Also what supplements are helpful?  I honestly have zero clue on any of this.  Thank you so much.  You have no idea how much you have already helped.

[selfinduced]

Angie, I was curious. What kind of post hysterectomy pain do you suffer?

[selfinduced]

Hi Angie, What is the length of time your rehab facility will keep you? I had a feeling the oxycodone was the med you relied on most. It seems to have more of  the euphoric side effect of the three. Just thinking if you could stop that with the safety net of the other opiates pre rehab, you'd have a major confidence boost and be halfway there. I hear ya on the benzo w/d. Even while weaning slowly it can feel like your seasick and have inner jitters for days.I am sure the place you chose to go (God willing), will be well equipt to keep you as comfortable as they can while you lose these wicked pills. Be sure your treating your body extra well right now with the supplements so you'll have a leg up. Let us know how Monday goes and if you get it. I can't even explain the happiness, inner joy and natural high you are in for once your clean. YOU can do this. Keep posting and keep reading. Don't be terrified, make this a positive life changing event to embrace. Only a few days of misery and your back to life.

[angie8910]

I found a place that is checking my insurance for inpatient so I will know on Monday.  The place was one my primary doctor recommended although he said it might be hard as I might be with some hardcore addicts possibly.  My pain doctor, I found out, sends people to an outpatient guy across the hall from them but I think I would feel safer and more protected in inpatient.  I honestly have the hardest time with the oxycodone.  Those I definentely like too much.  Sometimes I really need them and other times I just want them and my body gets all sweaty and weird without them.  It is easier to go without an oxycontin or opana on a good day than the oxycodone.  I guess everyone is different.  They did say the xanax and valium are concerning and they do have to watch you as you can die from coming off those. Weird because I went without once and my head really felt weird and hard to explain.  I feel good about this decision even tough I am terrified of it.  I am having a shot soon.  If the shot helps that may also make the detox easier.  I have not had any luck with any treatments but you never know.  They are going into the pelvis now as they believe it is deeper than they originally thought.  I remember at one point the pain doctor recommended methadone.  I am so happy I said no to that because first of all I guess you can just fall asleep and I have a job etc... so not an option and then I read it is so so much harder to come off of that it makes oxycontin look like a cake walk.  The doctors should tell you these things.  I am sorry I let things go this far but I was following doctor orders and then things started to feel unmanaged and scary and I want to stop before it is out of control.  Thank you for the support as I have no one to talk to and i am very much alone in this.

[selfinduced]

Hi Angie, Of all the things you mentioned taking above the xanax concerns me the most. Honestly if you can do this inpatient, I think you won't be sorry.Opana is not fun to come off of, but you can do it. In the meantime while you decide, can you drop the oxycodone?

[angie8910]

By the way, I have been on them the whole four years.

[angie8910]

You know, I have looked for a chronic pain support group within a reasonable distance from my house and just can not locate one.  I think people in chronic pain become so isolated that I know I would benefit from a place for talking, ideas and to vent.  No one understands except you or someone in your position.  These pills are sneaky, they helped a lot it seemed at first but 4 years later, are they hurting more than helping?

[angie8910]

I take 20mg oxycontin. 20  mg. opana  40 mg oxycodone and 1 mg xanax, occassional valium and sometimes I take more.  I am having a difficult time finding inpatient detox because of being in pain management.  I talked to my pain doctor and I think I am having this shot that is set up and then I am detoxing.  I told him I want to and I would prefer inpatient.  How can you do it at home?  Can't you die if someone doesn't monitor you?  I am hoping that I find these pills are really not doing much for me as I would think.  I think staying on them just can't end well.

[marycarmel]

The pills are sneaky like that.  At first they help a lot but then you start seeing some of the negative things that go along with it.  I would look for a pain management doctor that treats your type of pain.  There are lots of little tricks to help your pain without narcotics.  You may want to consider a support board in pain management.  MedHelp used to have an excellent one but it's changed quiet a bit.  *********** has a fairly good one.  People share what works for them and it's a good place to vent.