am scared, suboxone detox

[Casper1984]

Ive been on suboxone for 2 years, 24mg's a day, 75 8mg's pills a month. I always ran out on day 18, due to my abusen them. For goin on 6-12 months, ive been taken 30-40 mg's a day. My insurance refills on day 20, so i would buy 2 8mg's with cash to hold me over. I have stopped cold turkey, and im not goin back to the doctor, my addictive mind set will just get the 75 pills again. I have not tapered down at all. My last dose was 3 days ago, 32 mg's. The withdrawal is something worse than heroin, pain pills, or any drug. I cant even walk ten feet with out blacking out, my skin is on fire, my bones burn, what do i do, and how much longer will this last? Am i in danger?

[gnarly_1]

Hey Casper good to here from you again ..I have been praying for you that God will deliver you out of this mess you may try praying yourself I went thew 8 1/2mo of tapering off methadone I dont think I could have done it without God...Jesus here those that call out his name...keep posting to let us know how your doing...this thing has got to be coming to and end soon good luck and God bless.....Gnarly

[Casper1984]

I did go to the er 2 days ago, all they gave me was gabapentin. It helps somewhat, but my body is feeling like its going crazy with feelings, physical feelings, that i cant even put into words. I got some xanax from the street, but that only helped for 4 hours or so. I just want to get to day 17, when i get my daughter back. I cant be a father feeling this way, its day 12, so pray for me,

[mellie4]

Please think of Kloe.  Get yourself to a doctor that will help you.  Maybe a different ER.  You aren't thinking clearly with all that's going on.  It seems like you're afraid of dying but at the same time you're afraid to get help.   You don't deserve to go through this.  You don't need to be going through this.  There is help for you.

You mentioned a babysitter in your post.  Who's with you?  

There are so many things going on in your body and from your history, you simply can't do this alone.    The people on this site know what they're talking about.  Listen to them.  They're afraid for you.  I'm afraid for you.  

[road_to_recovery31]

I havent had a chance to post to u cause I am new here & just now ran across this but have looked at all the posts and they r right!!!I am also a Sub patient & let me tell u "This is just the tip of the iceburg"This can go on for as high as 2 months{no joke}U need to at least go back to your Dr & tell him/her what u have done and they will dose u daily if need to b.I feel for u man but u CAN stop the torment on yourself & just b honest with your Dr.I have a book here all about Subs & it states that all sorts of things can happen if u stop cold turkey,in which u have experienced ALOT of them but there r still others & YES one is being DEATH!!Your heart dont know which way to go right now.U need to seek medical attention rather it b the E.R,your Subs Dr,or your family Dr.You have taken all of us through the last 11 days of the h*** u r living & been honest with us an yourself so wont u take it 1 step farther & b honest with  your Sub Dr.If not for u or anyone else do it for your little girl because with u going the way u r going right now u CAN cause long term damage.I am praying for u.

[Casper1984]

Maybe this will help you, my father, who i barely speak to anymore, e-mailed me this, saying, "every hallucination, is a gift from God, every feeling of pain, a gift from God, every thought of guilt, a gift from God, every emotion, a gift from God. I should be dead, i shouldnt be allowed to walk this earth after the sins ive committed, but i can, and i am, because it is a gift from God."

[Casper1984]

I wanted to drop an update for all those whove stuck by me these past 11 days. My mania is starting to subside, but the physical symptoms are still dibilitating. Im hollow, empty, void, like an empty shell that only feels the pain, tension and anxiety. My babysitter cant even sit in the same bed as me, due to the kicks, or RLS. The ER wouldnt give me anything for anxiety, their reasoning is logical, saying their just as addictive. Im gonna have to wait for my Klonopin refill. Im starting to lose hope in there being a light at the end of this hellish tunnel. 11 days, still in agony.