babyhelp

[june07]

i never thought that i would have the courage to post here, but so many others have, so why not me. i am 23 weeks pregnant and falling apart. i'm addicted to lortabs. i found out that i was pregnant at 5 weeks and then went through an awful detoxing phase believing that it was only a phase and that i would come out on the other side healthy and ready to be a proud mommy. instead, i am ashamed and terrified and feel undeserving of the blessing of a child. i was clean for about six weeks, but i never got better. the excruciating part of the detoxification had passed, but the physical discomfort, such as the achiness, and lack of energy, and claminess, and emotional and mental anxiety only sustained itself and never went away. i was living in out of state keeping touch with my family via e-mail so i never had to face anyone during this time. before i knew it, we were back home and it was the beginning of the holidays and i could not stay cut off from my family like i had before because they would start to wonder what was wrong with me. so, that's where i am now, having taken two or three lortab 10 a day for the last 2 and a half months. i know that i am hurting my baby. the guilt and shame are eating me alive, but i'm afraid to come clean with my doctor. does anyone know what thier protocol is? Would they involve child services who would try to take my baby once s/he is born? That's my ultimate fear, that's what is keeping me from getting help. will i lose medicaid? and when i do come clean, how can they help me to deal with the problems that i face without the pills, i don't know how to live that way. i've used every excuse under the sun to rationalize what i'm doing, such as the fact that my sister is 2 pregnant and her doctor prescribes them to her for a back condition and the fact that the FDA rates them a category C  drug in pregnancy, but all that is a cover up because there is no excuse for me. i know that it's not something that i can go back and fix if something is wrong and i know that i will not be able to live with myself if something is wrong with my baby, but i don't know what to do....anyone have any advice???  

[apriljoy7]

Your story made me feel so much better.  I myself am 27 weeks pregnant and addicted to narcotics.  I'm addicted to lortabs.  I was hit by a car in 2000, and have been off and on pain meds. ever since.  I don't do any kind of street drugs and sooo love my baby.  Some days the guilt of me taking my meds. makes me feel sooo guilty though.  I've also been told that it's perfectly fine for the baby.  I was on methadone w/ my last baby and would never do it again.  It was 100 times more addictive that lortabs for me, and I had a horrible time withdrawing from the methadone.  Your story was very uplifting for me.  Thanks for sharing your knowledge!!!
                                                                 Sincerely,
                                                               April Joy!!

[niknurse]

Hi June07, I think I was meant to read your post today.  I think I might have some somforting news for you.  I am a pediatric nurse, so I do have some medical knowledge in this area.  I am also dependent on narcotics and am 33 weeks pregnant.  I have a pancreatic condition (chronic pancreatitis) that is very painful  I was on 85mg/day of oxycodone when I found out I was pregnant.  With the help of my pain doctor and my ob I have successfully tapered to 50mg/day at this point. I probably won't be able to taper any lower without going into a pain crisis which can be harmful to my baby.   I spoke with a neonatologist that , along with my pain doc, said that narcotics are actually catagory b in that they are not harmful to the developing fetus.  Studies have shown that that it has no effect on the development and organogenesis. (organs developing)  However, they obviously can be more dangerous in the third trimester, especially right before labor because of the withdrawal from the baby.  This is called Neonatal abstinence syndrome. (NAS)  Now, the good news is that some babies are perfectly fine after birth and have no withdrawals at all.  In fact, I read a post about a woman who is on the same exact amount I am and her baby had no w/d.  If they do have some symptoms, there are interventions that can be done to comfort the baby without having to medicate them.  Only in certain cases where the baby has a certain score on the NAS scale are they medicated.  I was also told by the neonatal doc that breastfeeding helps the baby wean too.  Most imortantly, do not cold turkey withdraw.  That can not only can premature labor, it can cause stillbirth.  They reiterated that to me about 100 times.  So whatever you do, don't c/t while your pregnant.  You'd be surprised how great the doctors can be. As far as social services, I can't imagine that being a problem, especially if you are trying to help yourself.  These are not illicit drugs.  Just let them know ahead of time so they can watch you close and anticipate treatment.  I understand the guilt believe me, but talking about it and informing yourself is a great step.  Goodluck to you.  I will keep you in my prayers.

[IBKleen]

Runt, this is someone else's post and may get buried on you. Please go to the top of this page, hit the post a question button and start your own. You will find a lot of good support here.

[runt316]

You are definitely not alone. I myself am pregnant & addicted to pain pills. Everything you said could have described my life exactly these last few months. You feel too ashamed to tell anyone because they'd wonder why the baby isn't incentive enough to just quit. I've been trying to taper & sometimes fell proud of myself at the end of the day because I've stuck w/ it. Then other times I feel desperate because I feel I'm taking too long & already dread the end. But tapering felt like the only way for me & I just hope that my body continues to adjust so I don't end up going thru any crazy w/d's.  It's a scarey situation to be in, but this forum really helps w/ all the support it offers.

[Jacqui805]

I encourage you to follow all of the advise from toxictome, as well as the others.  You're not a throw-away person because of the situation you find yourself in.  I know how guilty you feel, but try to turn it around thinking now, that you're doing something about it.  Do not beat yourself up, please.  I wish you the best, I'm here for you too.

[GoingToMakeIt]

1234betterlife responded above. Just put your mouse on her name and click on the 'send message'.

[slk714]

just wanted to let you know, you are not alone. i posted for the first time a couple days ago, i am also pregnant, going thru an at home detox. sorry i am going to leave the advice for those on this forum who know ALOT more than me at this point, just wanted to lend my support. when this happens, you feel like the only one, the guilt is overwhelming. after reaching out to NA on Friday i found a ton of support there as well.never in my life did i think i would ever be at that point, but right now the baby,(god willing) is my inspiration. i also completely understand where you are at since i am still using, but tapering slowly, and using the thomas recipe at home. added some teas to calm down, at night when i lay in bed, although i know i am making progress, i feel terrible about myself, the guilt, like i said can be completely overwhelming. i did let my ob/gyn know, was not a proud moment, scared to death (i'm only 4 weeks right now) but believe it or not, he did not judge me. you are not alone, i know you feel like it, but as i am finding out, it's not a big surprise to dr's anymore. i feel blessed i learned of pregnancy so early on, but called a friend who knew my addiction to go to dr with me...maybe an option for you???? this forum i read every day for support and guidance
i wish you the best, and again, i am here for support
slk714

[allaboutmary]

Just want to let you know you are not alone.  I have seen many, many pregnant people posting and getting help.  Also have heard they are having healthy babies.  Talk to 1234betterlife.  We are here for you.  You took a huge step in the right direction coming here.    Mary

[june07]

thanks, that sounds like a good idea since i am passing out at the computer anyway. i'll be back in tha AM. thanks again.

[GoingToMakeIt]

June, It is slow now so find this post in the AM and answer it. That will 'bump' it to the top. It gets very busy in the AM. Many will want to respond to your questions. To PM someone hover your pointer over their name and then move to the send message part that pops up. 1234betterlife know her stuff. Remember too, we are all anonymous and are only trying to help you. You are doing good to post these questions.
Welcome to the forum.

[june07]

wow, thank you all for responding, i was afraid no one would. i've been keeping this to myself for 5 long months and just having spoken about it has done some good. sorry about the double post.  

[GoingToMakeIt]

We will stay on this post. Also I sent a PM to 1234betterlife to join this post. I think she is still up.

[1234betterlife]

please private message me. you are being way to hard on yourself. i promise i will not come down on you. you are no different than anyone else here. you just happen to be pregnant which intensifies your guilt. you have a way out, i promise.

[toxictome]

Welcome to this forum. You have come to a great place to get help and support.
You can PM(private message) 1234betterlife..she is an OB nurse..she knows her stuff on this....you need to come clean with your Dr,  I think you are on a low enough dose that they can taper you and you can quit before your baby is born, but I'm not positive..

You NEED to do this as soon as possible!!!

-Tell your Dr.
-PM 1234betterlife and ask her what to do
Good luck and keep posting