Major trigger day .... ugh ugh ugh

[surviving93]

Ok.. so I want to start off by saying thank you to everyone who commented on my post yesterday.  Today has been difficult already and haven't even got started good yet.  I woke up feeling like crap, which is normal for me anyway.. until I get moving around and stuff it takes me several hours to start feeling decent.  Never been a morning person.  Anywho, so I come and get on my computer to start paying bills since it's payday, only to realize I cannot pay what all needs to be paid because of all the financial mess we are in... while in the process of figuring out what I am gonna pay and budget what I can I get a call from my husband wanting to know if he can get money out of the bank to buy some pills from his "friend" because his back and head are hurting... and of course I have to tell him the money isn't there because of the financial situation... wow did that lower the boom.. so I have been on the receiving end of a screaming rant for the last 15 minutes having to listen to questions about how are we so behind on this or that... well gee.. I wonder?   I mean really, he isn't an idiot and knows where money goes... so I find myself sitting here upset, anxious, and just downright disgusted with so many things that have gotten us where we are and I just TOTALLY needed to vent... if I get no responses to this one it's totally ok... I just had to get it out somewhere... so I came here to where maybe someone would understand the situation I am in...

[minn66]

Oh, here's another good one for you. I have been refusing to turn the air on in order to keep the light bill don't. I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have airconditioning, just fans in the windows. Anyway, hubby came home from work yesterday and it was 88 degrees in the house. He got down on his knees and said, "Baby, if I swear to get all the overtime I can, could we PLEASE turn on the air?! "

I hope you have a good evening, hun :)

Minn

[minn66]

Hey girl, I am praying for you!

I hope you have a (relatively ;)) stress free night!

[selfinduced]

Just said a prayer for you. You are a sincere,compassionate, smart lady. You guys will get through this. Sending love and support, xx

[surviving93]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU... you soooo made me smile with the Peggy comment.. lol... I have been on the phone with several of those myself lately and I know what you mean about partial payment stuff too.. as of now we are treading water... barely.. but still treading.. he knows why we are in this mess and by the time he got home from work he had calmed down and told me he understood what all the money stress was about... I take care of all our bills and I also get the job thing.. my husband lost a major amount of his income back in sept. when his company did some major cutbacks.. sometimes I am thinking it would have been better for them to just lay him off.. at least then alot of his work stress would be gone and that is alot of the reason he takes the pills in the first place.. he says if he  could get away from his job and the people he works with that he knows he could lay them down... but in this economy looking for a new job just isn't even an option.. too many people out of work around here right now ... like thousands of people applying for 5 jobs somewhere... it's ridiculous.. but anyway.. I have calmed down some and he was calmed down by the time he got home... got as many bills paid as I could today, had a good cry, a couple of anxiety attacks, and now I am getting ready to go to work myself... just say some prayers for me.. Friday nights where I work are always the absolute worst night of the week for major major stress... so I need all the prayers I can get at this point.. but I will just have to take it minute by minute if necessary.. already taken all my b vitamins and gonna take a couple more of my aminos for some energy then it's off I go ... just want this night to go by smoothly and quickly.. thanks again for the laugh ... you have NOOOOOOO idea how much I needed that smile today minn....

[minn66]

Hi, I definitely understand about not having enough to pay all the bills. Unfortunately, ours is due to my doctor visits and physical therapy and treatment, and hubby lost a well paying job a few months ago. On Monday I did what you did today, trying to figure out how much to pay who, and who wasn't going to get paid this payperiod. I got so mad when I went to one site and they wouldn't allow me to make a partial payment. They wanted past due and the payment due on May 15th! So then it was a lovely wait on hold until I got Peggy (I swear it was the one on the commercials) and what an ordeal that was!

Hang in there. At this point, as long as the house note, utilities, and car note and insurance are paid I am happy.

Is your husband willing to consider quitting the pills, or at least tapering down? Right now, do what you can and resolve to stay clean.

I'm rooting for you.

Hugs,

Minn

[surviving93]

Thank you for the responses... and to answer the question it has been both of us.. he gets scripts from the dr for a previous surgery and they always run out.. so he has a friend that also gets them and forwards or sells them to him if he wants more.. it's a never ending ride ya know?.. and I totally relate to the bank acct. stuff.. I look at that too sometimes.. 80 here 100 there when I know that should have paid a bill and then within a month or 2 you get so far behind you feel like you aren't gonna get caught up.. back in feb I got completely caught up on everything totally.. 0 balances all the way across the board.. now here it is a couple months later and I am behind on stuff again... the only way to dig myself out of the hole is just to dig deep and do what I have to to get out of the financial bind... it's just crazy where these stupid pills take us ... no one was there to warn me that this might happen in the beginning but I sure wish someone had... so I am warning anyone now.. don't get deep into this mess and let this problem take you this far.. as they all say you have to hit your rock  bottom.. well sometimes that is too late.. I am thankful in my case that it isn't but it has still taken us down far enough that we are feeling the hurt now financially, physically, emotionally.. ect... PLEASE I BEG OF YOU... if you haven't gotten to where we are stop now and don't let it get you here..

[akitagurl12]

hi, are you taking pills or is it just your husband?  I can totally relate to your situation.  I got myself in a lot of debt because of stupid pills. It is only now that I am sober can I see how screwed up everything is.  There is a way out of this, but first the real problem needs to be dealt with.  

[Free2agoodhome]

Im not in a relationship with someone using, but I know the money strain...if i look at my online banking at the cash ATM withdrawls its sad...100 here 150 there ...160 there....200 there....all my christmas bonus.and nothing to show.....

keep posting someone who can relate will reply....

ill root for ya....things will get better.  they kinnda have to