Try something new.

[Life2010]

First off, I have Never wote on a forum before. I "randomly" google sites for words of encouragement to stop the pill taking, however, feel more serious then prev attempts and thought maybe being part of this may help!

I have been addicted to opiates for years now. This would be my 5th attempt to stop. I had an episode (i like to call it) in 2003 where i completly made up my mind to stop and i did just that; swearing the w/d were to painful to ever go thu again.... That lasted yearsss. Unfortunatly, i started perks and vikes around 2007. It seems around New Years, i realize i cant do it anymore. My usual plan is as follows: call out of work for 3 days (total w/d time), stock up on Benadryl, aspirin, and niteqyl. Basically force myself to sleep for three days until i wake up and feel somewhat better. Once i feel ok, im right back where i started!!!!

This time, im trying to taper off. I really want to stop, but I truly get so mad that in order to stop i Have to go thru such terrible w/d.... it hinders my progress. I am so private, nobody knows.. not even my husband!! I have an insane job title, that i would def lose if ever this black secret comes to the surface. Im on-call 24hrs a day!!!

I know that my only option is to "deal w it!" if i want to stop. I just wish i didnt have to feel this pain!

Im reaching out for support, encouragment, or ideas!! Even someone to talk to about this (other then myself) would be great!?!

[Life2010]

Thank you so much for the words of advice! I woke up this morning, checked my work email and saw that i had people resond to what i said yesterday. Never realized how much that helps; to relate to others. Knowing your not alone, is a blessing!
Im still trying. Dont want to give myself too much credit esp as im tapering off - so not completly clean yet. I took 1/2 of a 30mg last night at 6pm and took 1/2 of a 1/2 today at 10am....
I def have the fight in me.. i quit smoking cigarettes (which to me, was harder then ANYTHING!!) going on 3 years now. I often say to myself, How the heck can i quit smoking and Not This!?!
I will keep trying. I will understand that this a daily work in progress and approach it as just that!!  Thanks to everyone for the encouragment!

[RowdLoud]

You think you can't function without pills, but that's absolutely not true.  I've been abusing off and on for four years, but in the past eight months it got way over the top crazy and serious because of a back injury.  Another might have dealt with my problem by doing the damn physical therapy, losing the weight and taking otc drugs.  But not me, this was my chance to have constant supply of party pills and to feel good enough to take care of my kids, be super mom and keep the house clean and even like the stupid puppy I got for them.  Wrong.  I used to feel good doing all that just by taking care of myself and exercising.  Dah.  It is achievable.  That's what I keep saying.  I want my life back too.  I had no idea going into this that I could get PHYSICALLY addicted.  I thought it was all mental.  Not that they aren't related, but i think ya'll know what I mean.  Life2010, good luck to you.  My heart goes out to anyone in this situation.  I will pray for us all.  This **** should be taken off the market or much more closely guarded.  Afterall, our grandparents didn't have this crap and survived.

[merrymaria]

hi there...you have to really want to never eat another pill EVER not even one because we all know where it leads....down the road of horror....i ve been in your shoes...did the same thing as you are planning...took off 2 weeks though and i m nearing 550 days free.  you have to fight every day for the rest of your life.  don t feel bad.  like fogmussher said addiction happens to all walks of life...it just happens....have you thought about aftercare?  if meetings are not an option stay here on this forum and there are some N/A meetings online.  it can be done...you just have to really want freedom and i think for myself i wanted it more than anything....i m on guard 24/7 and won t let anything or anyone drive me to pop another pill...ask questions/keep posting......maria

[fogmussher]

Funny how we feel like its such a black secret when it us. Try and remember it happens to the best of us. Even Tiger Woods is struggling with this. You may need suboxone to get off the stuff. Do you feel lethargic all the time when you don't have them? I was too tired to even feed myself. Whey protein help me a lot along with suboxone. But I was taking oxycontin. A lot of it. I tried to quit by changing to methadone. That was a big mistake. It was worse I think. The poisonous feeling was worse. You can find out patient help. Do you have good insurance? Don't let the shame stop you. There is more shame in giving up. Your husband might be glad you are trying to quit. I kept thinking I could do it alone and that thinking nearly killed me. I am now a big fan of the people out there that chose to help people like us and I wish I had asked for help a lot sooner.