help us

[mamad4]

i need help for my 21 yr old son that is addicted to opiates. He has no insurance.He has a job and lives with me.It has come to the point that he uses his whole pay for the drugs that he obtains off the streets and then asks me for funds so he can go to work.He admits of his addiction and states that he needs help but worried about losing his job.He has admitted of possible overdosing.We need help but have no insurance and I have a very limited income.What can i do to help my son?

[ActingBrandNew]

Heres a short list. The trick is telling them you have no income/savings. Most places dont advertise this but they will accept people with no money and put them on county assistance which will pay for the program. I really like the first one. They are pretty easy to get into and they will even put you to work in there thrift shop to pay for the program.

St. John of God Health Care services
13333 Palmdale Rd, Victorville, CA 92392
Phone Number: [phone]

http://stjohnofgodhcs.org/

Tarzana Treatment Centers

http://www.tarzanatc.org/

Cri-Help Drug and Alcohol Treatment in Southern California
11027 Burbank Blvd  North Hollywood, CA 91601
[phone]

https://www.cri-help.org/

[Wildewoman]

I would like to see the link for free programs near CA.

Thank you!!

[HappyDays2Come]

Hi and welcome. I'm so sorry that you've found yourself here and I can assure you that you'll receive tons of support. I really think that you should attend a session with an addiction counselor, just you. Many times parents are enabling because they care so much and a counselor that specializes with addiction can give you the techniques and advice on how to begin this journey in helping your son get clean.

Unfortunately you cannot force someone to get off drugs that doesn't want to do so. They have to really want it and, sometimes, it takes hitting rock bottom to get to that point. Maybe rock bottom would be you kicking him out and him losing his job? I don't know and I'm not a professional and that's why I encourage you to speak with a professional, face-to-face.

Good luck, and as a parent myself, it's easy for me to say the above since I'm not in your situation. I can't imagine the worry and pain you're in and really hope you check back in with us. *big hugs*

[butterbean841]

Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear that you as a parent are having to go through this.
It may sound harsh, but you cannot help him until he decides he's going to quit, i know this goes against everything a loving parent feels but you really do have to be cruel to be kind in this instance.

If he is using your money to travel to work then is that not the same as him using his money to travel and you pay for his drugs?....I'm not trying to upset you (i've been through a similar situation myself) i  want you to see how you are aiding him in his addiction.

You can't make him give up drugs, but you can change the way you handle things...there is a quote which sums up what i want to say "we cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust our sails" it just means that whilst we cannot control every situation we find ourselves in , it is totally up to us how we handle it. He needs "tough love" right now, no more subsidising his habit, tell him you love him enough to be strong about your decisions then let him alone for a while to really consider the consequences of continuing along this road.

Point him in the direction of this forum, he'll get lots of support and advice from many members on here if he decides he wants to quit.

I wish you and your family strength and peace and really hope your son can see how lucky he is that his family cares so very much.
jane x

[ActingBrandNew]

What state do you live? There are many free programs depending on what state you live in.

Your son will eventually lose his job or worse...his life if he continues to use opiates. Its inevitable. Not detoxing because of fear of losing his job is an excuse to continue using. you said it yourself...he works just to pay for his habit. So in essence...his job is not necessary. If it were me and it was my son, I would tell him that he HAS to go to a program and I would help him find a free one. If its in another state...I would drive him there or pay for the bus ticket.

Yes...I have kids. Yes...I struggled with addiction myself for many years so I kinda know how an addict thinks and what may or may not work.

Im sure you've heard the term "enabler"...you are enabling him by letting him live in your home. Tell him you love him and will help him ONLY if hes willing to help himself. The job excuse is just that....an excuse.

Be a part of his recovery...not his addiction. If your close to CA, let me know. I will post a link of free programs.

Good luck.