Thinking about relapsing??

[Pat1956100]

For any of you even thinking about using again, let me be an example.

I know I didn't have a lot of clean time before but it was getting close to 30 days, then I used for 10.
I have been so miserable.  The withdrawals aren't as intense as I have had in the past but this is now Day 6 and I am still battling the stomach issues (bathroom) zero energy, bitchy, sad, shaky.

So far after 10 days of using I have suffered 6 days for it.  Actually when I think about it, out of the 10 days, I probably only enjoyed about a few hours out of it.  The rest was chasing.
Makes sense doesn't it?  NOT.

I haven't been posting much in the forum because I feel too crappy.  My words don't come out right, lol.

Oh and I forgot to mention the sweats.  Remember them??  Never forget them.

Enjoy your clean Friday night and DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

[ImDONENoMore]

Pat - what are you doing for aftercare?  You know the drill on this.. you sit around with nothing but time to think and your head is going to mess with you (big time).  You need to get out of the house and engage with others who are going through the same thing.  Or even any activity that forces you to interact with others in a positive way will help enormously.

This online forum is wonderful, but nothing replaces live, and in person, support.  And think about the things you used to love to do... and start there.  :)

[dominosarah]

A friend of mine posted this on my facebook tonight and it just says......

First alcohol and drugs gave me wings, then they took away the sky~

Short and sweet, just how i like it.

Great post Pat, you are getting there girl~

[Jimmy1975]

We have all been there Pat , no shame . Relapse is all part of recovery and we all know that ! Hell I would come on here giving advice and high myself . I know a lot of us take it not to really get high but to mask the pain of our lifes . It works for some time but the Devil is always waiting at the end of the road . Peace all . Jimmy

[Pat1956100]

AA MEN.  

[weaver71]

That's right, standing tall and strong, chin up, shoulders back, represent! Can I get an amen???

[Pat1956100]

lol Weaver
Oh that is so true.  I think I've been to the supreme court a couple of times.
I think it's time to stop representing myself.  

[weaver71]

We keep working that first step until we want to move on, but it's easy to get comfortable with anything. It must have taken me 29 years to prove it wasn't worth it. Dang how the time flies, when your too busy to live. I am pretty persuasive and can build a good argument. I took it through all the trials up to the The Supreme Court, the debate has finally been won, It's Not Worth it.

[Pat1956100]

It's just not worth it Meegy.  What bothers me is the insanity of it.  Would we put poison into our bodies?  NO.  So why do we keep wanting to put something into our body that is poison to us?
I sure feel like I have been poisoned.

Ugh.

[tooter212]

Hey Pat, congrets on you 6 days!  You could still be out there using so don't beat yourself up. You had the courage to get back on the horse now let us help you ride it out! I'm proud of you. Your in my prayers. God Bless

[meegWpaw]

I am sorry you are not feeling good Pat but admire you for jumping back on the clean horse.  it may surprise you to know that I was thinking of using this week lol.  but you went a long way in talking me out of it and I appreciate that.  I may still be struggling but I am very glad I did not use.  ty

[ROSYouralright]

Thank you for sharing Pat!! Im rooting for you!!