how many times did you relaps

[bama88]

I'm starting a new thread. My question is what's the average relapse. I couldn't even make it three days. Three little days. When I say that it sounds so trivial. Ive got so much working against me. I have absolutely no support. My husband is always always using. That's extremely hard. Then my pain got the best of me. I realized how much pain I'm really in. I realized the death grip.the pills have on our mind. It's such a battle. I made such a rash decision about my addiction. Plus my pain. I'm really lost right now. I found na meetings. I don't think I can do this the way I tried. I really am angry and depressed. Please respond about relapsing. I need help ASAP. I want to beat this disease but I'm nothing but a complete failure.

[bama88]

Well I thought about tapering. Had a doc set up taper. I didn't follow it. He wanted me to come down to 40 mg a day to twenty to.ten.and then jump. I did take.a couple.of.twenties one on ties and one wed. They never helped my withdrawals. So I flushed again. And now.am.on day two. I think I needed to.take.those twenties for insecurity. They.did not help. Made me worst.in my head. Made me see how bad my addiction is. So I stuck on clondine patched and jumped. I'm so so quite. Don't want to talk. Just cough and cough. I am over throwing up. And tummy is better. Just have a cough.what's up with that

[rnangel]

I'm so happy you are not on the tapering bandwagon. Opiate withdrawl WILL not kill you, unlike alcohol. It's can be a brutal experience but YOU CAN DO IT!! Please try some Ibuprofen and tylenol for your pain. They can be safely taken together 3-4 times a day. I can imagine your pain is intense but us addicts tend to scoff at the good'ol remedies lol.

Keep up the good work and remember if your thinking of 'tapering' you are already experiencing a relapse. If you start missing meetings, you are already relapsing. Think about your triggers (people, places, things, moods)and make a relapse prevention agreement with yourself. It's so important to bring these little details forward from unconscious thought. So much of our addicted behaviour is acted out while we are on auto pilot. I have relapsed several times. I have used and then afterwards thought..whoa that happened so fast..wtf have I done? Having said that, you should not have access to any pills if you really want to stay sober. Of course you want to pop an oxy before trying tylenol or ibuprofen, simply because you are an Addict ;o)

I wish your family peace and comfort this weekend. Keep us posted on how you're doing. Take care of yourself.

[ricart70]

AWWWEESOMME bama you can do it.You are doing great.I knew you would do it right.Just take it easy this weekend and don't do anything you don't feel like doing.You are awesome!

[bama88]

Hey guys I made it thu thanksgiving with no pills and no pills today. Still coughing like a horse with a cold. No taper. Just gonna stay straight.

[bama88]

The benefits I used when I was off is short term disability. If we have an illness that is major and will keep us off for more than eight days you can get paid. When I had my total knee I used short term. Then when I had the blood clot I used it again. You don't find those benefits in a lot of companies. I technically could check in to rehab. But I may loose my job. I can check in after the new year begins. I don't have any more time off to spare other than last vacation week during the week from Christmas to new year. We can't bank up our vacation time. We've got to use it or loose it.

[bama88]

The lay offs are scarey.I don't think I could.replace my job.I make great money and climbed the ladder. I have a lot of responsibilities at work and home. Of course ill keep going to meetings. I need help. I want help.I'm still coming to grips about being an addict.I hate saying that.