Aa
how many times did you relaps
I'm starting a new thread. My question is what's the average relapse. I couldn't even make it three days. Three little days. When I say that it sounds so trivial. Ive got so much working against me. I have absolutely no support. My husband is always always using. That's extremely hard. Then my pain got the best of me. I realized how much pain I'm really in. I realized the death grip.the pills have on our mind. It's such a battle. I made such a rash decision about my addiction. Plus my pain. I'm really lost right now. I found na meetings. I don't think I can do this the way I tried. I really am angry and depressed. Please respond about relapsing. I need help ASAP. I want to beat this disease but I'm nothing but a complete failure.
I agree with Vickie, 100mg of oxy a day is way too high to just c/t and expect to be able to work. You would need a few weeks off work to get past that. With all you have on your plate right now, a taper plan is the only way you're going to get past this.
Doesn't mean you're a failure either. Just smart. Do the taper but still come here for support and go to meetings when you can. Because even after the taper is done and you're clean you'll still have to deal with the mental part. Otherwise you put yourself through this for nothing because you will most likely relapse if you haven't put the tools into place to deal with it.
Good luck Bama, and by the way, the last time I quit (over a year ago) I was taking 15 Vicodin every 4 hours and the only way I could quit was to taper. So, this is one of those cases where it's not the journey, it's the destination.
Doesn't mean you're a failure either. Just smart. Do the taper but still come here for support and go to meetings when you can. Because even after the taper is done and you're clean you'll still have to deal with the mental part. Otherwise you put yourself through this for nothing because you will most likely relapse if you haven't put the tools into place to deal with it.
Good luck Bama, and by the way, the last time I quit (over a year ago) I was taking 15 Vicodin every 4 hours and the only way I could quit was to taper. So, this is one of those cases where it's not the journey, it's the destination.
Hi bama! It sounds as though we have a lot in common. I too am the main breadwinner for our family. My husband works and works hard but he doesn't have benefits either. I have been with my company for 23 years and have a very good reputation there. I am scared, though, that my deteriorating health could cost me my job. I go to physical therapy twice a week and between that and my doctor's appointments causes me to miss more work than I like. I am afraid they are going to say something about it, and we have been having layoffs so I don't want to give them any reason to lay me off.
Speaking of work, I'd better get back to it. Just know you aren't alone. That has helped me. Take care and don't give up.
Speaking of work, I'd better get back to it. Just know you aren't alone. That has helped me. Take care and don't give up.
I was warned that with my they would start looking for a replacement. I've worked too hard to get where I'm at.
Yes I do a good job. I actually do a great job. I've won awards. Exceed my targets. I love my job. I didn't get high to escape it. I just got in the habit of taking meds.for pain. I've had a lot of surgery.I've never missed work because of addiction. I've missed work for surgeries. I know I have a high stress job but I like my actual job. I have been off a lot and we are so short staffed were doing mandatory overtime. Plus I got in the habit of taking pills in morning.just to.start my day. I thought I went over my doctors taper plan. I just don't know what to.choose. taper or cold turkey. I'm coughing today. You'd think I'm.sick. I'm.constantly coughing. I'm cooking for my family. And my sons coming home tonight. I'm looking forward to.seeing him. What.are you doing
It's all okay with us. Don't apologize! This is a long and difficult process but you'll get there. I just get concerned for you because you keep coming up with the plan that DOESN'T work!
Listen...is your job really in jeopardy? I know HR called you in BUT wasn't that just about the time off you took and which of your benefits was paying for that? I'm not sure you can be fired due to medical illness. You can't be fired for an addiction either. They have to find another reason like poor job performance. Is that a possibility? Have you been doing your job well? Might they have some indication of your drug usage and ensuing behaviour? You did say that you were high every single day before you went to work every morning. Were you still able to do a great job?
Just a few things to think about...Also, what's the plan for today relative to YOU? You need to get working on getting better here. Did you call your doctor (PCP) yet? I told you: You need a GOOD taper plan which is always decreasing by SMALL amounts over a LONG period of time. Plus you need some therapy while you're doing that!!
What are your plans for tomorrow with your family?
Listen...is your job really in jeopardy? I know HR called you in BUT wasn't that just about the time off you took and which of your benefits was paying for that? I'm not sure you can be fired due to medical illness. You can't be fired for an addiction either. They have to find another reason like poor job performance. Is that a possibility? Have you been doing your job well? Might they have some indication of your drug usage and ensuing behaviour? You did say that you were high every single day before you went to work every morning. Were you still able to do a great job?
Just a few things to think about...Also, what's the plan for today relative to YOU? You need to get working on getting better here. Did you call your doctor (PCP) yet? I told you: You need a GOOD taper plan which is always decreasing by SMALL amounts over a LONG period of time. Plus you need some therapy while you're doing that!!
What are your plans for tomorrow with your family?
Bama I have been going to NA meetings for quite awhile. I still barely say a peep. Even in my home group. It's perfectly ok just to listen. I'm extremely shy and awkward. IDK ur financial situation or where u live. But I needed inpatient detox. There should be a charitable place somewhere near wher u live that gives u a sliding scale fee or free. I looked at the ground on my way in the place. I was embarassed, ashamed, and scared to death. But I knew I was going to die if I didn't go. You're in my prayers along with all addicts. We're all just people. Not scumbags, low-lifes, or creeps. We have a disease. The support on this forum is wonderful.
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