just starting here

[terpsusie]

Came upon this site and had no where else to go. First day of having nothing. Feel terrible but have been thru this before. Why do I let myself go thru this every month?? I get my scrip and take them all in a week, then end up here feeling like this. It has only to do with the pain in my HEAD....of wanting to feel SOMETHING..ANYTHING but the way I feel about myself when I am not on anything. Please give me advice as I am lost.

[terpsusie]

Thank you so much for the support everyone. Still hanging in there, but it's truly only because I have no choice. I decided to be honest on this site. Some of the questions answered...yes, on both xanax and vicodin. Been on the xanax for many yrs. and the vic's for about two. Started with true pain, now its just for my brain. A reward for my brain. I am recently on my own at the age of 59. Husband left, daughter problems so not talking. It's like they...the pills, have become a substitute for relationships. Or, at least I like myself a lot more when using. My thought patterns change in about twenty minutes and I can breathe both literally and figuratively. I dont quite hate my life afterwords. I wait to pick up the vicodin as if it will be a vacation from my thoughts. I enjoy nothing without them. Wow...cannot believe how honest I am being here. Thank you again.

[Girlfriend1]

I am on day 3 of my first attempt to quit.  Feeling much better than days 1 and 2, but do worry about my normal habit of coming home from the office and taking one. I am planning on going straight to the gym from work to try to break this cycle. I don't like the pills anymore. The buzz factor wore off a long time ago. And I did have true pain and a medical need, but found a doc who resolved the root and have been pain free for about a month. I guess what I'm saying is change up your routine so you will be busy and away from the pills when you want one, and like the others suggested cut your source. I feel like the pills lie, like a siren song. They call out to you and then fail to deliver, and then you end up shipwrecked in your life. My relationship with them was like like, then love hate, and then finally hate hate.  I don't want to be controlled by a drug.

[jifmoc]

Hey, terp. Your breathing issues are just anxiety from pill detox. Yup, we've all had that.

Great advice above. Are you going to tell the dr no more? Are you going to delete your other contacts? Are you willing to do aftercare so you won't have to go thru this again?

Xanax wds are WORSE than opiate wds. But, if you are on them regularly you will need to taper those as they can cause seizures.

[Cricketk92]

Are you on pain meds or xanax or both??  I think some of the breathing stuff comes from the anxiety of being out of pills!! It's not an easy road to quit but it sure is a good one!!

[Cricketk92]

Are you on pain meds or xanax or both??  I think some of the breathing stuff comes from the anxiety of being out of pills!! It's not an easy road to quit but it sure is a good one!!

[terpsusie]

Thank you for the comments. I am jumping on here just to DO something. Yes, it is for pain management and is thru that kind of dr. I do not need them at this point but hate to say no. Was in hospital for back pain due to a nerve on a bone. I too, have spent money on outside drugs and have  been broke due to it. Right now counting my days till my xanax is due. I hate the sweats and feeling antsy the worst. Does anyone else have problems with breathing good after stopping the pills??