my natural course

[sadinmichigan]

I no longer feel like i can deal with this ****..I know there is no good time to quit doing drugs..but all I can now think of is drinking..which i am doing now at 7:30 am  and filling my RX next week..I know it's not going to help..but that is where I'm at..I wrote a post on the social side about my kid..I am stuggling real hard to keep it together but i feel like I am losing this battle once again..I just need some common sense and truth told/yelled or even screamed at me..I don't want to fail this after the longest 30 days in my life..

[Shotrock]

Just being real this morning, I know that many of the good folks on this site will not like these last couple of Posts, thats OK. Understood...... Stay strong Girl!!

[sadinmichigan]

ok..i'm with you on the drinking thing and totally with you on the smoking thing..Sooo..since we are drinking this morning..(i'm not sure)..i don't want the pills really..Hell i don't know what the **** i want..But i think i just love you more now..LOL
Thankyou...(i don't mean that weird..lol)...I appreciate your honesty..Thats what i'm trying to do..I haven't smoked in a few..Maybe thats the problem..Gave up everything too fast..But i did really enjoy smoking one..I'm sure this isn't popular opinion..But i've seen alot worse here...God Bless You TOO xo Lisa (Sparten)  

[Shotrock]

Day 30 here also, you can't let a sad-sack like me out do ya.. I don't need to fill my rx because I've had pills on hand for 30 days, its always going to be with us, its always going to be available.. I'm having a Bloody Mary as we speak, so on the drinking thing I guess I'm the wrong guy. I have been a Drinker, Pot smoker and recreational drug user my whole Life, I like a Buzz, sorry but true.. Coke, Mushroom's, acid, cyrstal meth, shooting coke, smoking coke, snorting whatever, gambling, womenizing.. All of these Vices I put behind me 20 years ago.  I realized that I like to Smoke Pot at the end of the day, and have a martini or nice glass of Single Malt, or a glass of Wine ( or 2 ). Bloodies on Sat. and Sun. Mornings.. That had been my mode of operation for 20 years untill Mr. Norco.. Problem I found with pills was I couldn't just walk away, the Physically addicting properties of Hydro was unreal, of course adding Sub to the fire didn't help. From mid Dec when i started to Taper, I was sick for 2 and a half months (torture).. I don't ever plan on doing that again..   I don't think I really have a point here other than to say I am 30 days clean of Pills, I have smoked the erb and drank every one of those 30 days to some extent. But everyone is different, my life didn't fall apart during my pill usage, thats one of the problems with Hydro you can function quite well, while the monster which is physical addiction takes over...  All I wanted was my Life back, but everybody's life is different, the life I wanted back was exercise ( I was a gym rat for 20 years) not being a slave to the pills, not being sick every time i woke up, i just want to Smoke my jones and drink my martini's, and work out like a fool ( have been to the gym last 7 days) I'm really sore today because of course I have been trying to do the same workouts i did a year ago ( dumb Idea ) The Pills are here my body hurts and I know they would relieve the Pain.( but I choose not to use) But my choice 30 days ago was that I wanted My Life back, not a different Life, My Life! I know many here will not understand this, but its My Life, and at 30 days I feel great ( exercise really helps)...Ii guess my point mighigan is you began this journey with me 30 days ago, because you wanted Your Life back! I hope you still do! Its a choice we do have the power to Make... Please stay Strong, for yourself your Family and all of your friends on this site.. God Bless You!

[sadinmichigan]

I know..I am trying to talk through the way I'm feeling which is hard for me..But i have to..Thankyou honey..
xo Lisa

[LIZZIE LOU]

i'm glad you stopped drinking :)

you and your family are in my prayers...you CAN do this!!!!!!  might not be easy...but it IS doable.

hugs,
kim

[sadinmichigan]

Thankyou...I did ask for it and i appreciate the truth!!! I have been up for so many hours..I only drink 2 beers and I decided to not..I have too much to do..especially if I need to catch a plane...THANKYOU...You didn't tick me off..I want the truth..I just need to hear it again...even though I know it..I know this will pass