my natural course

[sadinmichigan]

I no longer feel like i can deal with this ****..I know there is no good time to quit doing drugs..but all I can now think of is drinking..which i am doing now at 7:30 am  and filling my RX next week..I know it's not going to help..but that is where I'm at..I wrote a post on the social side about my kid..I am stuggling real hard to keep it together but i feel like I am losing this battle once again..I just need some common sense and truth told/yelled or even screamed at me..I don't want to fail this after the longest 30 days in my life..

[sadinmichigan]

ok..that helped..i already feel stupid.

[troubleinohio]

hon Im so sorry to read this.. I know you are going through alot of heavy duty shitt lately, But you know dealign with it by drinking and taking pills isnt gonna make it any better. I know you know that! Please hon, dont do this to yourself, and dont set yourself back again with the pills. You are stronger than this. xo xo  

[sadinmichigan]

I know that but it's just getting stonger and stronger..I am scared,tired and looking for relief..I guess thats the re-train your brain part..But I just haven't had a long enough time yet.This is why i'm posting..I need to be told again at this point all the things that helped me when I first started this new adventure..Thankyou..xo xo

[LIZZIE LOU]

it is our job, as parents, to be there physically and emotionally for our kids.  we should "be" what we preach...and should definitely be a role model for them.  i cant imagine having that "fuzzy" feeling going on and dealing with everything that i have had to deal with.  someone in this family has GOT to have control and be clear headed...and as a parent...it IS my obligation and responsibility to do that.

you're drinking at 7:30 in the morning?  stop that...wtf are you thinking?  what are you hiding from...responsibility...actual feelings...life as it is?????  LIFE IS WHAT IT IS...PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES ON...STOP THE DRINKING...AND DEAL WITH IT!!!

you dont need alcohol...you dont need drugs.  what you DO need is to think about your kids.  you have 30 days clean from pills...dont muck up NOW!  

i'm NOT trying to tick you off...YOU asked for the truth and i am giving it to you.  

[sadinmichigan]

Thankyou...I did ask for it and i appreciate the truth!!! I have been up for so many hours..I only drink 2 beers and I decided to not..I have too much to do..especially if I need to catch a plane...THANKYOU...You didn't tick me off..I want the truth..I just need to hear it again...even though I know it..I know this will pass

[LIZZIE LOU]

i'm glad you stopped drinking :)

you and your family are in my prayers...you CAN do this!!!!!!  might not be easy...but it IS doable.

hugs,
kim

[sadinmichigan]

I know..I am trying to talk through the way I'm feeling which is hard for me..But i have to..Thankyou honey..
xo Lisa

[Shotrock]

Day 30 here also, you can't let a sad-sack like me out do ya.. I don't need to fill my rx because I've had pills on hand for 30 days, its always going to be with us, its always going to be available.. I'm having a Bloody Mary as we speak, so on the drinking thing I guess I'm the wrong guy. I have been a Drinker, Pot smoker and recreational drug user my whole Life, I like a Buzz, sorry but true.. Coke, Mushroom's, acid, cyrstal meth, shooting coke, smoking coke, snorting whatever, gambling, womenizing.. All of these Vices I put behind me 20 years ago.  I realized that I like to Smoke Pot at the end of the day, and have a martini or nice glass of Single Malt, or a glass of Wine ( or 2 ). Bloodies on Sat. and Sun. Mornings.. That had been my mode of operation for 20 years untill Mr. Norco.. Problem I found with pills was I couldn't just walk away, the Physically addicting properties of Hydro was unreal, of course adding Sub to the fire didn't help. From mid Dec when i started to Taper, I was sick for 2 and a half months (torture).. I don't ever plan on doing that again..   I don't think I really have a point here other than to say I am 30 days clean of Pills, I have smoked the erb and drank every one of those 30 days to some extent. But everyone is different, my life didn't fall apart during my pill usage, thats one of the problems with Hydro you can function quite well, while the monster which is physical addiction takes over...  All I wanted was my Life back, but everybody's life is different, the life I wanted back was exercise ( I was a gym rat for 20 years) not being a slave to the pills, not being sick every time i woke up, i just want to Smoke my jones and drink my martini's, and work out like a fool ( have been to the gym last 7 days) I'm really sore today because of course I have been trying to do the same workouts i did a year ago ( dumb Idea ) The Pills are here my body hurts and I know they would relieve the Pain.( but I choose not to use) But my choice 30 days ago was that I wanted My Life back, not a different Life, My Life! I know many here will not understand this, but its My Life, and at 30 days I feel great ( exercise really helps)...Ii guess my point mighigan is you began this journey with me 30 days ago, because you wanted Your Life back! I hope you still do! Its a choice we do have the power to Make... Please stay Strong, for yourself your Family and all of your friends on this site.. God Bless You!

[sadinmichigan]

ok..i'm with you on the drinking thing and totally with you on the smoking thing..Sooo..since we are drinking this morning..(i'm not sure)..i don't want the pills really..Hell i don't know what the **** i want..But i think i just love you more now..LOL
Thankyou...(i don't mean that weird..lol)...I appreciate your honesty..Thats what i'm trying to do..I haven't smoked in a few..Maybe thats the problem..Gave up everything too fast..But i did really enjoy smoking one..I'm sure this isn't popular opinion..But i've seen alot worse here...God Bless You TOO xo Lisa (Sparten)  

[Shotrock]

Just being real this morning, I know that many of the good folks on this site will not like these last couple of Posts, thats OK. Understood...... Stay strong Girl!!

[sadinmichigan]

I hear ya! I need to be yelled at..i think..It helps to talk out loud sometimes..Just the way I'm feeling..I have no reason to pretend I'm fine right now..Thanks friend!  i will stay strong!
understood!

[Mikeinthesouth]

Its not over until its over. Not a perfect person here but you know in your heart if you should or not. Still love ya, Mike

[Mikeinthesouth]

I kinda wish I enjoyed smoking grass. Just O and I sure don't need that though. U no??

[Mikeinthesouth]

Het as long as you cracked dem beers enjoy the buzz for me, as I don't have a  couple of monthsto puke away on a binge  and there is not enough vodka around cause I drink till I am alcohol poisoned to try to deal with these damn wds. U no?? . LOL but true....

[sadinmichigan]

I know...Thanks..just trapped in a nightmare with this situation with my girl that is getting worse all the time..xo

[Rose703]

Here's some honesty for you. I know things are rough for you right now and for that I'm so sorry, BUT stay the hell away from the pills. One or two of them won't help you so why in the hell would you even do it? As for the smoking well I don't do it but I know alot of people who do I just choose not to. Now I enjoy sitting down in the evening with my hubby and have a couple of beers and yes I do mean 2!! I just know that my personality is an addictive one so I don't want to trade one problem for another!! Hang in there and stay strong!! You can PM me anytime and I will help remind you of all the reasons you don't want that damn pill!!

[Mikeinthesouth]

Wheres your update on your daughter?? Did you say in the other forum??

[sadinmichigan]

I'm the same way with vodka...go figure..and thankyou Rose..I will do that.I have until the 19th to have a million reasons to remember why i don't want them..Thankyou

[Mikeinthesouth]

The 19th is a long way off.... GOOD

[JOSHNESS]

i just skimmed thru wat ur goin thru and im only 13 so i am naive and i realize tht. im so glad u found ur daughter abd i thnk u hadnt drank alcohol for 30 days...i thnk tht awesome and i thnk ur daughter will be really proud...i just wanna say ur awesome for doin tht...my mom was a coccaine addict always startin from 10 years be4 i was born...she could never quit she wldnt even try to like she loved the drug more than me. well at the age of 8 i decide i was tired of this **** and i decided to go live with my god parents in NC becuase i dint wanna be exposed to this.  well my godparennts live in a huge house in a high class neighborhood nadi fugured i wldnt b exposed to this...wel i tried weed and tripped out teribly about 2 months ago...ppl tell me b cause it was the frame of mind i was in and i realized i may have thought about "am i just as bad as my mother?"well i ment to talk about u but i ended up givin u my whole life story im so sorry but like i said keep us the good work and remember all u have been thru and remember there will b better days. (thts wat my mom always told me)

[JOSHNESS]

and sayin all tht helped cause ihavent talked to anybody bout it so thnks fer reading if anybody did

[sadinmichigan]

Thankyou sweetheart...but my daughter isn't found..Now she is a hostage with this creep.It's all just bad..

[Penelope14]

SIM, You have been such a inspirtation to me during my detox, & Im not gonna knock ya for drinking or thinking about picking up your Rxs, your behaviors are that of a addict, we all are very vulnerable to relapse, & just because you slipped doesnt mean you cant succeed in your addiction, its not over just because you slipped & drank. You have so many people who care about you on this forum, so please think twice about picking up the Rx,s. Im not trying to push NA or AA down your throat, but have you concidered taking in a meeting? This could prove to be very benificial for you, just a thought. Take Care Penelope

[JOSHNESS]

im so sorry i wanna say something that will help u but i kno of nothing...but it seems like this is out of your hands or atleast it sounds that u feel like ur losing control or dont have any of it over the matter.  and i understand u feel like drinking alcohol but forget about everything just for a mere second and thnk obout the emotional poer if u can say to urselff with all the pride in the world"**** YEA I DONT NEED DRUGS OR ALCOHOL TO COPE". and remember this quote cause i dont understand it but it seems full of ummmmm... something that may help u?
You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living
until the escape becomes the habit.”