WTF am I doing...

[tingtongtom]

I was down to 20Mg valium a day for a while, down from 400MG at the worse point. Then I found a pharmacy that sells 10MG valium at 7 thai baht each, so 10 pills equals about $2. okay, I went a little mad, but then it got a little worse and I found a pharmacy that sells clonazepam over the counter, no questions asked!!! Let me try to remember what I have taken today, (I do not feel that intoxicated at all) and the clonazepam are roche. anyway, I think I have taken 80Mg valium and 4MG of clonazepam. I want to stop, but when I taper down the anxiety is too much. I have this skin condition that 2% of the population have, and when I am on high doses it does not exist, then when I taper, my anxiety returns and so does the condition :(

[perch101]

You don't want to live like this. Find a doctor to help you and when you are free of this you won't believe how much better your life is.

Benzodiazapines and alcohol = bad news, as you found last night. Also, the combination of the two has an overdose risk, not trying to scare you (but to be honest you probably need a scare, helped get me clean) but the two are known for causing fatal overdoses.

Last night would have been a very distressing for your girlfriend, she would have had a big scare, and your lucky she's forgiven you and taken you back.

Best of luck in getting clean.

Regards,
Perch.

P.S - when you do a doctor prescribed slow taper and then are clean you will probably find that your anxiety setteles right down, and is better than when abusing the pills and trying to taper your way.

[dominosarah]

What exactly are you really looking for from this forum?  We have told you over and over what to do and what will happen if you dont.  Now you come on here tonight and tell us how much you drank along with taking benzo's, not to mention your violent behavior.  What is it going to take before you finally wake up?  I hope and pray it is soon as your time is running out quickly.  The longer you continue doing this the worse it will get.........sara

[tingtongtom]

yes, doctors will probably be the best solution, in the UK. but not here. I woke up this morning with blood on me, smashed stuff everywhere and little memory. My gf and i went out drinking, i got through 2 bottles of whisky, some beer, some wine plus the benzos and now i am a mess. she nearly left me, well it was me to leave her, i threw all of her stuff out of the door for some reason, but this morning we talked, cried and resolved that side of things. i just need to find a doctor who can actually help in this country i guess..

[dominosarah]

Only you can change this insanity you are living.  We have told you time and time again to see a doctor and you always come up with an excuse why you cant.  You are on a dead end road, literally.  Do the right thing here.......sara

[ImDONENoMore]

I remember you too and you HAVE to find a Dr.  And NOW.  Your way isn't working and you know that.  Good luck to you.  :)

[sudie58]

hi, i do remember your previous posts, were you on tramadol? anyway, there really is only one thing you can do, and thats get a proper taper, do it and put a lot of work in staying off, i know all that is easy for me to write, and very hard to do, but it has to be done, or you will spend your life with this miserable on/off situation.of course you are going to have anxiety, its your brain learning to be without the medication.
it seems very easy to get stuff if you can actually buy it from a pharmicist. so i think you will have to put a lot of work into your after care, can you get a taper plan from a good dr.
stick to it, then get counseling, AA/NA, therapy, etc. anything and everything that can help you stay clean. you really need to do thid, i wish you well, take care and god bless.