Aa
overcoming the demon
as the new year is now with us, its time to sit back and reflect. We are all addicts, some with more clean time than others, but at the end of the day we are all here to support one another. We all have different ways in showing support and we are lets face it all different individuals. We all have one thing in common and thats our sobriety, and we all need a lending hand at times and we all need some tough love as well. But please lets show all the support that we all need, and that is that we are all trying and nobody and i mean nobody wants to fail, but unfortunately its a fact of life and with failure hopefully comes a learning process. I have failed deeply and i am not happy about it, but now i need support to get me through this hump. I am at this point in time have zero desire to use, but that can change at any given day. I am a work in progress. This disease is a lifetime battle and i can only hope that it does get easier, but what i learned from my mishap is that we can NEVER ever let our guard down, and that we have to fight for our lives to pull through the painful, powerful destructive demon. I am now moving forward and i am not thinking i relapsed, i m looking at it as though i f'ed up for one time and caught myself and i am back on solid ground again. I know that relapse cannot be taken lightly as there are so many deaths that are associated with this disease, but when someone slips up, please guide them and encourage them, to move forward and learn from it. i have come a long way and have learned so much and i plan on continuing to learn even more. I will beat this beast, there will be up's and down's during the way, but i will win. and that's a promise!!!
Best Answer
Im going to go out on a limb here and say that sometimes I believe it is just as important to not discuss these matters with some as it is to others. One of the 12 steps talks about making amends UNLESS to do so would or could cause further damage. While we may want to believe that in discussing these matters, full disclosure for one person may be a good thing and for others it could create more harm. For example, I have heard it said that when a spouse cheats that when they confess that it is more for them than their spouse. The cheater gets it off their heart while the injured party is just finding out and they have to work through it. While it may bring some closer in the end, for some people, that is just not possible. Some people have their preconceived notions about addiction (my father for one) and they just don't undestand nor are they willing to. For others, it could undermine their relationship. So I believe it is a personal decision on whom you decide to include in your recovery. I know it is vital to be accountable to someone and have a support system. To thine ownself be true and things usually have a way of working themselves out. Yes, I know we are as sick as our secrets. I also know that we need to be honest with ourselves and Dane is working on that and I give her big kudos for her progress.
MAMA BEAR, thank you, thank you!!! You just mean the world to me, and i am so very thankful for you and for your openness. I am in a really good place now and I truly owe it all to you. and if anyone can handle getting screamed at is you, you are one tough cookie, but don't worry i will have your back!!!!!
love,
little cub
love,
little cub
How we travel our Journey is just a means to our final destination which for all of us is long term sobriety. We may take lots of turns and even some U-turns but its not really important on HOW we get there, but more important that we DO get there! Dana, You got this honey and Your already back on the horse! Good for you! :)
Okay...I'm just going to say it...It's just not a big deal(relapse) its NORMAL! It happens. We're human and were all id and we just want to feel GOOD! I can understand this much better than I can understand how anyone could never ever touch a pill again. I applaud long term sobriety, of course, and I also applaud the person who uses again and THEN gets back on track. It's all the same to me so I often don't get riled at this stuff! I just have this attitude about it and these are just my opinions...
You're good now Dana and I'll probably get screamed at for saying this but I think you really needed to take something to get the pressure off of yourself!
I think it's far better than a mental implosion...
You're good now Dana and I'll probably get screamed at for saying this but I think you really needed to take something to get the pressure off of yourself!
I think it's far better than a mental implosion...
Well said, and i couldn't agree more!!! Thanks girl
littlebit, you and i have been through so much together over the past year and we both had each others back, and i so appreciate you. You make perfect sense my friend! Im doing good, moving forward, remembering what i did, and you know what, it was wrong and I'm over it, I'm not even mad at me anymore.
littlebit, you and i have been through so much together over the past year and we both had each others back, and i so appreciate you. You make perfect sense my friend! Im doing good, moving forward, remembering what i did, and you know what, it was wrong and I'm over it, I'm not even mad at me anymore.
Dane....you have been so honest...it is probably why others are so honest with you. Having said that...sometimes it is so uncomfortable hearing it. Easier to say it! If I have been, I am sorry....I have not been able to pull off the softer side when I type my thoughts. Guess it is the English teacher in me. We all have the same path to walk...some meander a bit before they finally get there. Anyway, enough platitudes...you will get this....I hope it is sooner than later..cause I hate to see you hurting and frustrated. One of he things that really helped me....was....ONE day at a time was all I could ask. I know I am talking to the choir...and I know that one way or the other you will get there. It is the process that keeps us moving. I don't think we ever really get over the addiction..it is the process that keeps us clean. I hope I am making sense.
By the way...when you all talk sports...all I see or hear is blah, blah, blah! :)
By the way...when you all talk sports...all I see or hear is blah, blah, blah! :)
And I'm completely pissed off over my football picks so I'm really on fire! But I don't want to hijack little cub's thread with MY stupid troubles!
I completely agree with you...sometimes it's just not the thing to do. Confessing it ALL is often counterproductive and can turn into a nightmare. Choose wisely with whom you speak...
Yup. I posted twice, my words are worth a second listen! And I'm sofa king sick this weekend that my limbs are moving on their own because my brain is on fire!!
THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE! LOL
Yup. I posted twice, my words are worth a second listen! And I'm sofa king sick this weekend that my limbs are moving on their own because my brain is on fire!!
THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE! LOL
OK that's good. Talking to the shrink is good :)
What's the plan? Do you mean this is something you might share with your mother-in-law instead to safeguard yourself the next time?
What's the plan? Do you mean this is something you might share with your mother-in-law instead to safeguard yourself the next time?
I so agree it's now time for me to "work with the addiction, instead of against the addiction" That starts NOW!!! And you know a lot my mama bear, and ALWAYS make perfect sense to me.
Sonrissa, you bet it was "sofa king" important, it takes time for things to sink into my brain....LOL
Imdone, i know i know, and I'm not listening, sorry, but i am keeping this to myself, there is no need to go there with him and in the future when i have to go to the inlaws again i will have a plan in force. Im working on that one, no more setting myself up to fail, so i will come up with a plan. I see the shrink tuesday, and i can promise you this i will share with her....
Sonrissa, you bet it was "sofa king" important, it takes time for things to sink into my brain....LOL
Imdone, i know i know, and I'm not listening, sorry, but i am keeping this to myself, there is no need to go there with him and in the future when i have to go to the inlaws again i will have a plan in force. Im working on that one, no more setting myself up to fail, so i will come up with a plan. I see the shrink tuesday, and i can promise you this i will share with her....
It's true. It is forever. But when we let go of those ridiculous expectations we place on ourselves during early recovery, it does get easier.
I do wish you would talk to your hubby about what you're going through, although I know it's not for me to say what you should or shouldn't do in that regard. Only, at the very least it would release some of the pressure you put on yourself to be perfect, which in turn, makes it easier to get through those vulnerable moments. Just something to think about?
OK I'll stop pushing because I know what a pain in the *** I can be!!
I do wish you would talk to your hubby about what you're going through, although I know it's not for me to say what you should or shouldn't do in that regard. Only, at the very least it would release some of the pressure you put on yourself to be perfect, which in turn, makes it easier to get through those vulnerable moments. Just something to think about?
OK I'll stop pushing because I know what a pain in the *** I can be!!
So, that was sofa king important you had to say it twice?
LOL! Just teasing you sweetie! I haven't done that in a while!
LOL! Just teasing you sweetie! I haven't done that in a while!
Well...you know exactly what my opinion is on the subject!! LOL. So I think you'll be fine because I know you're on the "right" side of this addiction.
Do you know who Gregg Allman is? A musical genius and smart man..he's been an addict all his life and has fought all his life. He's been in rehab at least 14 times...what the hell?? Obviously he's serious about getting to the other side but it's just not happening for him and so it goes...
It's forever Dana. Maybe if we can work WITH the addiction instead of AGAINST the addiction, we could be happier. But what do I know?
Love you...
Do you know who Gregg Allman is? A musical genius and smart man..he's been an addict all his life and has fought all his life. He's been in rehab at least 14 times...what the hell?? Obviously he's serious about getting to the other side but it's just not happening for him and so it goes...
It's forever Dana. Maybe if we can work WITH the addiction instead of AGAINST the addiction, we could be happier. But what do I know?
Love you...
Thanks guys, i never said that i didn't think people care, but there are ways to soften the blow. When advice is giving and one does not listen for whatever reason there is no reason to treat that person any different. This is a disease that is so cunning and not everyone is going to be clean for the rest of there lives and i believe and i want to say again I believe that we all need support even if the advice giving was not used, even if you disagree, or cant stand the person. I believe in tough love, but i also believe in patience and understanding.
Dana you know how much people care about you. If they didn't they wouldn't post on your threads. We are all different and we all give advice differently.
I still remember how terrified and lost I was when I first found this forum. I try and help everyone the best way I can but I am learning every day about this horrible addiction and how it lies and lies to us.
I appreciate all the advice I am given. I may not show it at the time but I hang onto it and it eventually sinks in.
I can remember being so angry when someone would call me out because they were trying to save me from the same mistakes that they had made.
I couldn't see it then but I do now. I am very afraid of this addiction. I am still terrified and lost at times.
I feel so strong one day and so weak the next.
People have never given up on me. Isn't that amazing? They have never given up on you either.
I thank God every day for the people who have stuck around on this forum and share there wisdom out of the kindness of their hearts. I really believe that they care about us so much. I would much rather have someone tell me the truth and help me live than lie to me and watch me die.
Big, big hugs
Pat
I still remember how terrified and lost I was when I first found this forum. I try and help everyone the best way I can but I am learning every day about this horrible addiction and how it lies and lies to us.
I appreciate all the advice I am given. I may not show it at the time but I hang onto it and it eventually sinks in.
I can remember being so angry when someone would call me out because they were trying to save me from the same mistakes that they had made.
I couldn't see it then but I do now. I am very afraid of this addiction. I am still terrified and lost at times.
I feel so strong one day and so weak the next.
People have never given up on me. Isn't that amazing? They have never given up on you either.
I thank God every day for the people who have stuck around on this forum and share there wisdom out of the kindness of their hearts. I really believe that they care about us so much. I would much rather have someone tell me the truth and help me live than lie to me and watch me die.
Big, big hugs
Pat
Well said Dana!! I'm so proud of you and Yes we will overcome this ugly beast That has been trying to destroy us all!!
I told my hubby last night that I was tired of living in the hell that we created for ourselves!! Everyday I'm getting better and better and we Will come out w our victories!!! There will be challenges and bumps on the way. But it's how we handle ourselves ( will we get up and dust ourselves off or will we just wallow around in self pity and continue down the wrong road).
We will Win this fight. God will help us through. Thank you ladies for the support. Even tho I'm new you guys are great!!
Christina ;)
I told my hubby last night that I was tired of living in the hell that we created for ourselves!! Everyday I'm getting better and better and we Will come out w our victories!!! There will be challenges and bumps on the way. But it's how we handle ourselves ( will we get up and dust ourselves off or will we just wallow around in self pity and continue down the wrong road).
We will Win this fight. God will help us through. Thank you ladies for the support. Even tho I'm new you guys are great!!
Christina ;)
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