overcoming the demon

[Dane74]

as the new year is now with us, its time to sit back and reflect.  We are all addicts, some with more clean time than others, but at the end of the day we are all here to support one another.  We all have different ways in showing support and we are lets face it all different individuals.  We all have one thing in common and thats our sobriety, and we all need a lending hand at times and we all need some tough love as well.  But please lets show all the support that we all need, and that is that we are all trying and nobody and i mean nobody wants to fail, but unfortunately  its a fact of life and with failure hopefully comes a learning process.  I have failed deeply and i am not happy about it, but now i need support to get me through this hump.  I am at this point in time have zero desire to use, but that can change at any given day.  I am a work in progress.  This disease is a lifetime battle and i can only hope that it does get easier, but what i learned from my mishap is that we can NEVER ever let our guard down, and that we have to fight for our lives to pull through the painful, powerful destructive demon.  I am now moving forward and i am not thinking i relapsed, i m looking at it as though i f'ed up for one time and caught myself and i am back on solid ground again.  I know that relapse cannot be taken lightly as there are so many deaths that are associated with this disease, but when someone slips up,  please guide them and encourage them, to move forward and learn from it.  i have come a long way and have learned so much and i plan on continuing to learn even more.  I will beat this beast, there will be up's and down's during the way, but i will win. and that's a promise!!!  

[Dane74]

ok now you are pushing it!!!!!!!  LMAO

[ImDONENoMore]

OK that's good.  Talking to the shrink is good  :)

What's the plan?  Do you mean this is something you might share with your mother-in-law instead to safeguard yourself the next time?

[Dane74]

I so agree it's now time for me to "work with the addiction, instead of against the addiction"  That starts NOW!!!  And you know a lot my mama bear, and ALWAYS make perfect sense to me.  

Sonrissa, you bet it was "sofa king" important, it takes time for things to sink into my brain....LOL

Imdone, i know i know, and I'm not listening, sorry, but i am keeping this to myself, there is no need to go there with him and in the future when i have to go to the inlaws again i will have a plan in force.  Im working on that one, no more setting myself up to fail, so i will come up with a plan.  I see the shrink tuesday, and i can promise you this i will share with her....

[ImDONENoMore]

It's true.  It is forever.  But when we let go of those ridiculous expectations we place on ourselves during early recovery, it does get easier.

I do wish you would talk to your hubby about what you're going through, although I know it's not for me to say what you should or shouldn't do in that regard.  Only, at the very least it would release some of the pressure you put on yourself to be perfect, which in turn, makes it easier to get through those vulnerable moments.  Just something to think about?

OK I'll stop pushing because I know what a pain in the *** I can be!!

[Sonrissa]

So, that was sofa king important you had to say it twice?

LOL! Just teasing you sweetie! I haven't done that in a while!

[vicki595]

Well...you know exactly what my opinion is on the subject!!  LOL. So I think you'll be fine because I know you're on the "right" side of this addiction.

Do you know who Gregg Allman is? A musical genius and smart man..he's been an addict all his life and has fought all his life. He's been in rehab at least 14 times...what the hell??  Obviously he's serious about getting to the other side but it's just not happening for him and so it goes...

It's forever Dana. Maybe if we can work WITH the addiction instead of AGAINST the addiction, we could be happier. But what do I know?

Love you...