polysubstance abuse

[gotsalt]

I just came off 90 mg  daily of Lorcet one week ago but started Adderall 180mg daily along with Didrex 800 mg daily. This has been constant for at least one year. I do not remember any real sobriety time more than a couple of months in the last twenty years. It"s been one thing or another. I am scared to live sober. I am tired of the lies and the isolation. I am just tired of this lifestyle. I am in my mid-50's and don't want to spend the rest of my life living a lie.  I am an all or nothing person. I have 400mg Didrex left and I am going to take it then I am finished. How long will it take to feel better. The hydrocodone is probably out of my system since that has been a week. Last Adderall was yesterday, 90mg along with 800 mg Didrex.  Today 800mg Didrex and then nothing. I just wonder if and how long it will be until I can feel alive again. I have been burying so much pain and fear all of my life that I don't know if I can even live sober. I just know I can't live this lifestyle anymore.  Thanks for any input.

[Hairloom]

I won't say I know exactly what you're going thru but I do know how you feel! Living a what everyone thinks as a "normal" life. Going to work everyday, grocery shopping, visiting with parents! And everyone thinks your just such a happy go lucky person! NO, it's the substance that's happy go lucky! I have managed to pull myself off of cocaine, meth, and ecstasy COLD TURKEY! Won't say it was easy! But you get to point in your life (sounds like you have) where it's time for a change! I try to do or have or in my current case, move, to change my usual everyday habit! Use it as a "fresh start!" You prolly become a different person being the sober you! But it'll be a great you! Good luck with everything!

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

Everyone is different so it is hard to say how long the physical withdrawal will last. For me it was about a week to start to feel better but some things took much longer. Congrats on wanting to get clean and start your life. It is scary I know but so worth it. I have to suggest that you find some form of aftercare and dive in to learn coping skills and relapse prevention to name a few. Getting clean is easy. Staying clean takes a lot of work.

Stick around here. This is a great place for support. When you start the process you will probably have questions so ask away. Some one is always here to help and support you.