Day 5 of extreme taper from oxy's, advice appreciated & my experience w AD's this time

[Ginger7]

Hi everybody – it’s been awhile since I posted. Been awhile since trying to kick this again. I’ve come to the conclusion I can’t do a slow taper. Sooner or later, I double dose and then forget it – sky’s the limit.I know there are tons of taper posts, but has anyone gotten to an amount where they were able to stop completely w/o getting sick?

My main stumbling block in the past has been major depression. Its what got me into this mess (opiates – the one pill for depression that works instantaneously) and its what has been keeping me from getting out. Don’t get me wrong, the physical withdrawals are nothing short of hell, but at least they are finite.

This time around I’m on an antidepressant. Another difference is that in the past, I go nuts with it before I quit, thinking it’s my last goodbye, which of course, it never is. This time, I’ve started a fast (?) taper. I’m on day 5. I was taking 120-200mg of mixed oxy’s, roxicet and percocet. Day 1 I took 60mg in divide doses 5hrs apart (20-20-20). Day 2, 50mg again divided 5hrs (20-15-15). Day 3 45mg (15-15-15) Days 4 & 5 taking same. I haven’t had too many withdrawals, and mentally I’m ok, so the antidepressants are definitely doing something. Normally, 60mg is the least I can take without getting sick as a dog and I don’t think I’ve ever done only 60 for more than a day or so.

My question is, how low do I have to get before I can quit without getting so ill I can’t function? 20 (10-10 8hr apart?) I have to be able to work.

Also for those of you whose main issue with this stuff is depression as opposed to physical pain, the anti-depressant has been helping me more than I had hoped. It’s by no means a miracle or quick fix – I have some insomnia, stomach pain and get the creepy-crawly skin thing by 4am from dropping to less than half my normal amount – but it’s helping. For instance, I feel some hope. Not a lot, but some and every other time I cut back or try to go CT my mind plunges into such a black void that I can’t even describe it. I thought my depression was bad before going down this evil road, but after trying to quit I know the true meaning of dread and hopelessness. I know they don’t work for everyone, and they carry their own risks, but for me it’s been a godsend (only day 5 tho, so  I’m not counting my chickens just yet). I’ve just never gone this many days on this amount without losing it and popping them like tic-tacs to make the sadness go away.

Also, even tho I’m going through some withdrawals, I have been functioning ok and have actually felt like doing things (like gardening). This is a bizarre feeling for me. I am used to thinking in mg’s, and without the necessary mg’s, doing anything felt impossible, much less even remotely enjoyable. I don’t want to overstate this and give anyone false hope – I’m not by any means having fun. Even the impulse to plant some flowers was faint, but it was there. I think I feel kind of like a normal person with the flu (not sure what normal feels like anymore).

Sorry this is so long – thanks if you’re still reading. If anyone knows what you need to get down to to avoid major withdrawals, I would really appreciate the info.  My plan is to try for 40 (15-15-10) today, and if that works,  I’m going to try to cut my dose by 5 every other day, which if I can do it, will get me to 20mgs by day 13?

Thanks all, and good luck everyone else on this road – special thanks to gnarly, whose posts have given me hope

[nooneknows214]

Hi Ginger...  

     I don't know an exact answer to your question, but I do know why I made the choice to just go c/t.  In my opinion, we are a lot alike.  Taper to me is A) Prolonging the agony and B) Too easy to get hooked again.  I went c/t 28 days ago, mostly by choice but my source was dry for a time as well.  Since then, I've had no desire to go back to that horrible world.  The first week was the worst, day 4 was a little better.  About a week after I quit, I caught an actual cold/virus that I just got rid of.  It was a test, I know as I know a pill or 5 would have made me feel much better.  I toughed it out and this week is the first I've truly felt 85 to 90 %.  All in all, I took a half day from work.  I was taking 4 to 7 percs/Vic's per day for the past on and off 2 years.  My advice, rid yourself of them 100% now.  This site is a great support group.

     Hell yeah, there are times I wanted just 1 pill, but I knew where it would lead.  I've come too far now, period.  I will NEVER go through the w/d again !  Just a note.  I wrote a few posts, for everyone, but also for myself on this site.  Why I would never go back.  It's been a great tool, and I've looked back at them a few times.    

[lori5997]

What anti-depressant are you on?  I have some "savella" here from my dr. but i want to wait to start taking it to see where my baseline is (I think EVERYONE'S somewhat depressed when they give up their drug of choice or have w/d's>  I'm more tired and anxious than depressed and am on day 8--take care of yourself, sound like you have a really good plan, do youhave support?  thinking of you, Lori

[Ginger7]

Thank you - do you remember your jump off dose by any chance? I'm afraid to drag this out even one day longer than necessary, because I know I can't trust myself for any real length of time. For me, it only takes one slip.

Thanks again - I really appreciate your taking the time to respond :)

[Charetti]

I cant do the math on your dosages but I wanted to say that near the end I cut down every 4 days to give my body time to adjust. Like you said it wasnt easy but I managed OK.  When I got to a point where I couldnt take less without anxiety I jumped off. I still went through wd for the usual amount of time but the severity wasnt bad.

I am also on antidepressents and didnt suffer from that aspect of the wd.  I did have my addiction whispering evil thoughts in my ear but I didnt cry or fall apart.