relapse.....i do not want to//but i want to???

[worried878]

I was laid off from my job on Tuesday...times r tough....plus my guy is moving and decided he is getting back together with his x/i think...he wont break up but he is staying over there....so to me it is a done deal..he is a puss and wont do the dirty work of saying it is over//so i had to...and i didnt need the stress this week...she found out we were planning to marry next yr and things got intense//she had him arrested for trespassing and he caved///loves the 9 yr old//i am done///wont go there right now..but he is a weak person....a very bad week in general for me..instead of going to my doc///i turned to drinking....gone to meetings every night...cant go down!  gonna see a counseler too..i need to talk..i am gonna explode if i do not!

I lost my job that i had for 9 yrs...I lost him///and i loved him but now i dont know why I did/do/but am letting go....i always come out on my feet/im down but trying hard not to relapse...i havent been posting cos i havent been out of my bed much at all this week til yesterday for a gym trip and today to lay on the beach...did me good tho...and is the reason i am up at this hour//i get depressed and go to bed at 8 pm!   Losses all at once can test us....i love this forum ///everyone is so supportive....i will be ok...but relapse is in my mind cos i am weak/needy....thanks for letting me share

[road2recovery]

I am very sorry to hear about your losses....You know for a long time, I use to think How can worried work in a hospital with all these drugs that made us addicts ..What a DAM STRONG woman.... AND i know you are....I am so glad you posted, We are all here to help you...If you want my phone number I would be glad to give it to you...Go to a meeting today, and post away, you are very loved here!!!  BIG HUGS
R2R

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Hey lady! - - Well....we know a little about whats going on with each other - - I was thinking just this morning on the way here how nice it might be to medicate once more......could even be medically justified. But I stopped so that I wouldnt hit a particular time or place in life and need the meds...... that was also the proper decision to make for me. The choice isnt any less valid because its a new day..... or because there are new problems.... That actually validates the earlier choice to stop even more.....and further enforces the decisions already made.  I am glad to see that you put some things on the forum for support - - you have given so much to so many ..... You know the people here are behind you all the way.   And just think about things for a sec - - do you really want to give Kleen a reason to arm herself?  The thought of a .38 in her hand sends shivers down my spine!! - - - -  nowhere to run and nowhere to hide .........................

[Bettys_Girl]

I wish you strength and courage to get through the next few minutes, hours, days, weeks,.... until you can feel strong again.  It ***** loosing the job, but try to think outside the box.  Maybe this is an oportunity for you to try a different kind of job, something you've been wanting to go for but were scared to try.  Now is the time to go for it!  As for the guy, try to think of it as a blessing... obviously the guy is a spineless jerk.  Anyone who would treat you this way isn't worth having in your life.
Today, spend a little time pampering yourself.  Hot bubble bath, fix your hair, makeup, put on your favorite outfit (you know the one that you look "hot" in), and get out of the house.  Go window shopping, visit a friend, go for lunch, check out a library or employment office.... what ever you feel ready for.  Just give yourself the first push on the path of enjoyment, you never know who or what you will find there!

Hugs!
Bettys_Girl

[corey411]

Worried hun, I am so sorry this is happening to you. I just posted yesterday about my relapse too....I'm on day 2 again. We both know what we gotta do though. In january 2011 we will be there but with a little less cleantime......but there right? All of this s!!T falls into place awhile after it hits the fan. Better things always lie ahead if we take that path less traveled by, Just let me know if you need to talk. Love, Corey                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

[gizzy32]

I am sorry your going through all this. You posted and reached out so that means deep down you don't want to use. You have helped so many here and now it's your turn to get some help and support. Alcohol is a depressant and makes things worse, it did for me when i was drinking a few weeks ago and it sneaks up on you so fast. Has your drinking progressed since we spoke? You will be ok worried, this will pass even if it don't feel like it now. Give me a call today if ya want. Stay strong girl, your a rock!

[Cissy373]

I am so sorry to hear of all your going through, but I know one thing relapsing will only add to the pain. I haven't been here on this forum very long, but you are one that has truly helped me when I was down, now I want to be there for you.

Know we are all here for you.............vent to us what your feeling but please stay strong and don't allow the ex, the loss of the job or anything else to cause you to lose what you have worked so hard to accomplish.

Prayers going up for you.

Cissy