I'm the most unlucky person in the world!!!

[chopper841]

I can't believe this I'm on day 14 doing better still some leg pain, NO DOC VISIT, and a pulsing sensation in my stomach left side but I'm walking (HERE IT COMES HOLD U WONT BELIEVE THIS) about 20 minutes into my walk I walked right into a pill on the ground as I walked past It I stopped, stunned I can spot a Vic from a mile away.  My first thought,  leave it, but I picked it up amazed that it was just laying in the street.  This my test on day 14 I put the pill in my pocket and as I was walking I said to myself I can't believe this shocked I started to feel my heart beat really fast this is crazy how could this happen.  I kept walking thinking if I told anyone this story no one would believe me.  What do I do with it???I won't let you guys worry,  I decided to toss it!! But why did I pick it up not sure, it's reminded me I have a choice and that I still have a long way to go it's like I felt I was high as I walked with it in my pocket. I've heard about triggers that set off feelings of wanting to use again how can I learn to get over these.  Do I slowly put my self back in places that trigger me using or just run in the opposite direction.  

[worried878]

good job on tossing!  tossing can be like flushing!  very empowering

this constant thought process about pills goes away..it may pop up here and there..but after a while it is only during times of stress for many..the escape mechanism kicks in again if we do not stay mentally well..."I Hurt"  "I dont wanna hurt"  "I want to escape again like i used to do"   these r the times when our old habits come back to haunt us..using drugs for many is a coping mechanism..an unhealthy one but it is a learned behavior..we have to unlearn it..also the reason why many avoid drastic change, new relationships etc when they r freshly clean/the new learned coping behaviors r not in full force for a while...many changes we cant avoid even if we r freshly clean....so we need aftercare to help us thru...and even after yrs of being clean//a life crisis can bring out those old unhealthy coping mechanisms...an addict is always an addict unfortunately...we can stay "sober" but relapse is always one pill away..scary..but true..be safe and stay positive

[peaceinknowing]

You did the right thing by getting rid of it shortly after you found it. If you need to talk, you know that all of us are here for you no matter what. You did the right thing and we are all so very proud of you. It's times like that, that remind is why we are doing this in the first place. Everytime I feel like just going to another doctor and telling them how bad I'm hurting [because there still is legitiment pain] I keep reminding myself of what I went through the first several days of going through detox at home.

[Gracey42]

Get rid of it!!   No way no how should you keep that around.  You arent even close to being ready to put yourself in situations like that.  Man thats only your addiction talking....  I pray you will flush that **** down the toilet right now.  If you are serious then do it now.,
  

[mrsmisfit]

Not Unlucky! Just a test of how bad you want to be free from this ****! You TOSSED it! That"s awesome! I'm on day 4 the second time around. I honestly don't know what I would do. I don't even want to think about it. Your on day 14. I would definitely stay away from trigger situations if you don't feel comfortable yet. Keep on the right path and jump over the Vic's. Your doing great! Don't give that up and start from scratch.

Much Luv!   -Jodi