Just starting to think about it

[Cricketk92]

All of the posts on here gives me hope that it will work for me too!!!!  I was on hydrocodone 7.5/300 3x daily for about 6 years.  The last 2 years I was taking about 6 or 7 a day.  When I ran out  I would buy 5mg oxys from an acquaintance that always has them.  Ive wasted a lot of money over the last 2 years on that!  Last month my pain Mgt Dr sent me for bloodwork and they took a urine which still had the oxy in it.  Needless to say my Dr took me off the hydrocodone and put me on the Butran patch.  I had it on for about a day and got so sick from it that he took me off and gave me tylenol w/codeine.  So thats where I am right now.  I know it is time for me to stop this crazy roller coaster!!  He gave me the 30 mg codeine.  I am going to try to start a taper with them and when I go back Im going to ask for a lower dose and hopefully be able to wean myself off.  I don't even know if I have legitimate pain anymore since I have been high for so many years!!!  Im not looking forward to withdrawal so any and all advice or encouragement will be greatly appreciated!  I have spent the last 2 days reading through so many of the posts on this site just to get myself motivated and it has been working!  I think I have the mindset now that I just want to be clean and off of all of these!!!  Thanks to everyone who posts and shares their story!  It helps!!!

[Cricketk92]

Thanks for your response!  I know I am probably building it up in my head how bad its going to be!  Maybe thats a good thing though cause then I will be able to say "Its not so bad"!!!  Thats what I am hoping for!!!  Since the 30 mg arent really doing anything for me I dont thing that going to 10mg will make much difference....and it might just be prolonging it!  I might just talk to my boss when he gets back to work on Wednesday and see if I can take a few days off and just dump the rest down the toilet!  Im such a scardey cat though!!!  Ill keep you up to date on whats going on!  Thanks for your help!

[Cricketk92]

Thank you so much for your help!  Just to answer the question you didnt want an answer to....its 30mg of codeine not hyrdocodone!!!  I actually am prescribed ativan for anxiety from my other Dr who also has me on Effexor.  I dont take the ativan very often so I have enough to get me through detox when that time comes! I dont like the way it makes me feel but I think if I am going without sleep that I will take it just to sleep!!!  Im going to start getting stocked up on the things I will need cause I am determined to get off this crap!!!  Thanks for your help!!!

[Cricketk92]

I wish I had someone to dispense for me!  I live by myself and my 22 year old son who doesnt know about the addiction!  Not sure I want him to know!  I only had 3 yesterday and hoping for just 2 today.  My appt is in 2 weeks and I have enough until then if I just take the 2 a day.  I do have to say that I already dont feel good...headache, nausea....so if I do run out maybe it wont be the worst thing in the world!!!  Thanks for helping me!!!!  :)

[jifmoc]

Hi, Cricket. I just read all the posts: like Gunner said, taper is very hard, I am trying to recall anyone being successful at it on here. Methadone, yes, but reg opiates, not really. Don't be so afraid of c/t! Everyone builds up the fear so much and it's not necessary. Yes, you won't feel well. Okay, you can live w/ that right? A pal on here always says: "You just gotta be okay w/ not being okay for a while." But it's temporary!!! And then (w/ aftercare of course) you will be FREE!!  Notice how everything good in life takes some effort and pain? I always think of that. You can do this. You're no different than anyone else on here! If you run out early, then just stop and we will walk you though.

[atthebeach]

Oh huni. Do you have someone who can dispense for you?
The codeine is weaker. I am sure that's why he gave you those.
If prescribed is 2 and you are taking 4 you will run out early again.
Then what will you do?

[Cricketk92]

No, Im only supposed to be taking 2 a day so I want to get down to that before I see him again!  I m going to do that in the next few days since these dont seem to be doing much anyway!  I dont think it will be that hard to do...  Ive been reading through some of the recent posts about pain mgt Drs though and Im afraid if I tell him that I want to taper he will just cut me off!!  So I definitely want to get down to 2 in case I need to make them last!  I really do HATE this so much!!!!  Wish I never started taking them!!!!

[atthebeach]

4 is the prescribed amount?

[Cricketk92]

Thanks for your responses!  They help so much!!!  Right now I am taking only 4 of the codeine everyday.... Im gonna try to cut it down to 3 and hopefully only be taking 2 when I go back to the Dr!  Im so scared of going CT that after all I have read here I thought I would try to taper.  Im going to ask him for 10 mg next visit instead of 30mg and try to wean off those and then just stop!  My boss knows I am on pain medication so I may even have an easy time of getting a few days off.  I work for a Substance abuse agency so I know all the "answers"  ::yeah right::  Boss is even aware that I have switched meds so hopefully he will understand when the day comes to quit!  I feel so ready and havent been enjoying or getting any kind of buzz from the codeine.  I keep telling myself it may not be that bad!  Hopefully that will be true!!  Ill keep posting as the day gets nearer!!!

[Gunner817]

If I was still on the hydrocodien I would ask how did you get 30mg pills? I never heard of that. Don't answer that though, having the mindset to quit and quiting are two diffrent ball clubs!!! The first week of withdrawals will make or brake you. If you ride it out with your mindset you'll be fine. You didn't take that much on an average day (so that's good) but you did take them for 6 years straight, so withdrawals will be tough but trust me not near as bad as my addiction and a lot mores on here. If you think you can taper that's good I hear about it helping people. With your habit I wouldn't waste time I would just go cold turkey, all the days you spend tapering you'll go through smaller withdrawals but your craving will be high still, which is why the unsuccessful tapers don't work cause of the cravings and the access to the pills. I would cut off the ties to your oxy dealer and your doctor. By some chicken broth and fruit, Gatorade and water, vitamins etc. what I did and 70% of people on this site would disagree but I got Xanax like 5 of them and whenever withdrawals would get so bad were I couldn't sleep for days and the anxiety is bad those Xanax help you sleep and the anxiety. Now others might not agree cause they say " don't replace one drug for another" or " one addiction for another" but if you don't abuse them and only take them every couple days for a week or so to help you sleep before work then it's worth it to me and I'm about 50 days clean. I'm still struggling at certain times of the day. All you gotta have is the will power and the strength and courage to quit codiene. Whenever your thinking about caving get on here and reread post and other people post you'll get and idea of where your at and how much longer it can last. Then tell yourself I just gotta get through these next couple days then this next week. Time goes by slow the first 3 weeks for me atleast after 21 days thinks picked up a little everyday.theres a girl named neveragain on here she's very sweet and helpful, if you see her post message her she's at like 65 days but she's kicked it before. A lot of good people on here that will give you there pointers and what worked for them. Just do what you thinks best for you. If you don't like Xanax or you think you'll abuse it then I wouldn't recommend it. But if you can limit yourself to 1 bar every 2 or 3 days for a sleep aid it can really help. It's your call though brother, we've all been there so there's no judgement, people understand not all have the will power to kick the addiction the first time. If you keep taking them you'll talk yourself into staying on them and not quiting and this status will be dead...

[atthebeach]

Hello and welcome.yes there is always hope. Keep the faith.
There is freedom from the chains and bondage of addiction.
That's a good plan to ask the doctor for a lower dose of codeine.
How many of the 30mg codeine are you taking a day?
How are you feeling?
A taper will ease your body down slowly. The withdrawal symptoms won't
Be so intense.start now by eating a clean diet of lean protein, vegetables and fruit. Drink protein shakes and emergen-c. Take a good multi vitamin.
Get some exercise in each day.
It takes two to three months post opiates to re-evaluate your true
Pain levels.
therapy, support groups and church will help you also.
You will need all the support you can get.
Please stay away from your body supplier.
Remember there is always hope.
Debbie