Aa
freakin out here. red flagged
As I've read thru some posts on the topic. I couldn't help feel there wasn't a lotta cold honesty. If you want help. Be honest. Here I go.
First my question. How long before I'm hauled away? Yes I'm that scared.
Been fighting this roller coaster longer than I can remember. As I've shared. I went CT last weekend. Broke down Tues. Got a new script from my pain management Dr. This one consisted of half the normal fill plus methadone. Used a few norcos to keep wd's away. Its been great. I'm functioning and breaking this nasty demon. Haven't touched methadone. First pharmacy didn't have norco. Next pharmacy won't fill cuz I've been listed or flagged on some system here in Cali. Panic. I don't have ins. So went to ma and pop pharmacy that knows me and my Dr well. Use to be cheapest. Always went. Then found a CVS that was half the price. Another CVS was double. Anyhow. Get it filled but in panic mode now. Why? Well. Like most. Middle class employed mom in pain. Here's the deal. Dr shopping. Yes I have a past this last year. When that pharmacist read off all drs that wrote me a script this year I was shocked. 2 pages she had. First. Half the names were PA's in my spinal care center. High turn around. That I'm not worried about. What scares me are the others. Er visits. We've all been there. A few dentists. That was legit I needed antibiotics but wasn't gonna turn down the pain meds. Most terrifying. My former employer. Yup I work in the medical field. Small office. Paper charts. My Co worker called in a script. A few others signed the refill faxes for me. This stopped almost a year ago. Fear is. I left that job on bad terms. Unrelated. But the Dr blames me for almost loosing her practice. After I left due to verbal and emotional abuse. The other 2 employees left. She went to er for chest pain. Lost pts. Cuz she didn't know how to run her office. Now flash forward 10would months. I'm flagged in some Cali drug system. If they contact my former employer. As a prescribing Dr. She will know. I never personally picked up any of the scripts. Nor sign them. Maybe 1.
What's the process after being in this system? Just ***** cuz I'm finally getting the old me back. Wrestled all morning with my bf. Went out to lunch. Ran errands. Normally a weekend was me laying on the couch for 2you days while my bf did everything. Then dreading work come Monday. These lil yellow pills that once gave energy. Now sucked all life from me. Here I am finally feeling normal and my life may be taken away.
First my question. How long before I'm hauled away? Yes I'm that scared.
Been fighting this roller coaster longer than I can remember. As I've shared. I went CT last weekend. Broke down Tues. Got a new script from my pain management Dr. This one consisted of half the normal fill plus methadone. Used a few norcos to keep wd's away. Its been great. I'm functioning and breaking this nasty demon. Haven't touched methadone. First pharmacy didn't have norco. Next pharmacy won't fill cuz I've been listed or flagged on some system here in Cali. Panic. I don't have ins. So went to ma and pop pharmacy that knows me and my Dr well. Use to be cheapest. Always went. Then found a CVS that was half the price. Another CVS was double. Anyhow. Get it filled but in panic mode now. Why? Well. Like most. Middle class employed mom in pain. Here's the deal. Dr shopping. Yes I have a past this last year. When that pharmacist read off all drs that wrote me a script this year I was shocked. 2 pages she had. First. Half the names were PA's in my spinal care center. High turn around. That I'm not worried about. What scares me are the others. Er visits. We've all been there. A few dentists. That was legit I needed antibiotics but wasn't gonna turn down the pain meds. Most terrifying. My former employer. Yup I work in the medical field. Small office. Paper charts. My Co worker called in a script. A few others signed the refill faxes for me. This stopped almost a year ago. Fear is. I left that job on bad terms. Unrelated. But the Dr blames me for almost loosing her practice. After I left due to verbal and emotional abuse. The other 2 employees left. She went to er for chest pain. Lost pts. Cuz she didn't know how to run her office. Now flash forward 10would months. I'm flagged in some Cali drug system. If they contact my former employer. As a prescribing Dr. She will know. I never personally picked up any of the scripts. Nor sign them. Maybe 1.
What's the process after being in this system? Just ***** cuz I'm finally getting the old me back. Wrestled all morning with my bf. Went out to lunch. Ran errands. Normally a weekend was me laying on the couch for 2you days while my bf did everything. Then dreading work come Monday. These lil yellow pills that once gave energy. Now sucked all life from me. Here I am finally feeling normal and my life may be taken away.
Hi there! Calm down some,,I know its hard. Youre in that "panicky" feeling mode of withdrawal where you feel that sense of impending doom. I can gaurentee that right now at this moment these pharmacists are dealing with other customers and issues,,they are all not hovered around conspiring against you. I dont know why they would contact your former employer,,how would they know where you worked ( maybe Im missing something here). When your "flagged" that just it,,your flagged,,where I live it just means that some pharmacies will refuse to fill your script,,I dont know of anyone having been turned in,,,just means you cant get a script filled. ( Im not sure of the California laws though). Keep focusing on your sobriety. You are doing well. Focus on that feeling of "the old you",,,I dont feel that your life is gonna come crashing down on you. There are literally thousands and thousands of people that are "red flagged". Try and calm down some,,,the impending doom feeling will pass. Hang in there~Bkitty
You post a difficult question. But, I know that someone will come along that can help. Those of us who've been abusing meds for years (I've been at it for well over ten) have done things that may or may not ever catch up to us. Along with this site, you could also seek some legal advice. Doing so may get a few of your questions answered, and maybe lessen some of the concern.
My fear is. This red flag deal. If they contact all prescribing drs. My former employer will be amongst those drs. If she wants to press or pursue charges. Yes I was a pt in the office. But it wasn't her calling them in. It was me. Thru my Co workers. That's why the panic. I've already decided I'm done. Never to go back to pain management and start enjoying what life I've gotten back. I loved today. I want more :) every time I hear my teen age Neighbor come home o fear its the cops.
Also the panic really set in when reading posts here thru a search on the topic. People talked about being flagged and how the pharmacy contacted all prescribing drs about the death flag. This pharmacy flat out said they can't fill due to dea system refusing them to fill due to the amount of drs I've gotten scripts from. Guess mom and pop pharmacy doesn't use that system. Cuz they filled it. I don't know what this system is. The process or where I'm headed. Feel like my world is falling apart now that I'm getting my life back. Why? Cuz I couldn't go more than 3 days cold turkey and went in for that one last script. I keep telling myself that even though I was denied my fill there. They gave me back my script to take elsewhere.
Hmmm,,Im not quite sure how to answer this. In your state if you are red flagged by a pharmacy do they contact all the doctors that prescribed you pills? You had legit scripts except for the one,,and that was a year ago right? You are not done,,cooked. That feeling will pass,,,I promise. You need to rest and get a good night sleep tonite so you can be more rational. What's done is done and you are not the first to do this. Is it possible to lawyer up just in case? Be proactive. Dont worry about this tonight,,right now or it will eat you up and then the cravings will follow. Enjoy how you felt today. I know its easier said than done,,,You are going to be OK. Its a terrible feeling I know all to well. I work in the medical field as well and man the paranoia I had that I was gonna be "found out" drove me crazy and I had a massive panic attack,,,turns out it was all in my head. Rest. snuggle with your man and watch a movie. ~Bkitty
A lot of the world wide pharmacies have a computer system that triggers when a person is red flagged. Doesnt mean they are gonna contact all your docs,,,they simply will refuse to fill your script from what I know. I know Walgreens,,CVS,,and Wal-mart are nationwide and the computer system picks it up. Thats all.
Ricart70. Yes I'm on a tapering regiment. I was on a 10 pill a day (10/325) habit. I took one at 7am today and after wrestling laughing and enjoying life. I looked at the clock to see how long we had before post office closed. It dawned on me it was near 2pm and I didn't need a pill. I'd have been on pill #5 normally and trying to find a way to convince my bf to do the errands alone. I chose a taper method due to CT wd's from a 10/day habit was not an option. I was unfunctional. I've done the wd's from 1 pill a day for a week. To none. That my body allows. I love the old me. Which is what keeps me from bumping up. Nothing good ever came from it. Now I have this gut wrenching knot. Thinking everyone will know my dirty lil secret if this pharmacy or the death notifies all prescribing drs and my former employer says 'i never wrote those. But she did work here'
i think you will be ok as far as the legal stuff goes.my aunt was red flagged so much it was practically on her license plate and she never got contacted
first off, you say you're getting off the pills but then said that you went and actually got it filled and then used some of the pills to ward off some of the WD symptoms. are you getting off the pills?
then, you mentioned something about how you don't feel as though there's a whole lot of truth. could you explain a little more than that? i only ask these two questions so that i can understand a little more where you're coming from.
about the whole pharmacy deal... i'm not going to sit here and sugarcoat it for anyone: they're going to call each and every one of your doctors that you've seen, been referred to and/or received a prescription from over the past 18 months. this is protocol, unfortunately. however, it's the law now in 40 something states because of the PMP [prescription monitoring program] that they've pulled into effect over the past 24 months now, if not longer. there has been too much of a rise in people abusing prescription drugs, especially opiates - so this is their way of informing doctors that it HAS been going on in their practice, and one or more of their patients HAS been abusing the pills, to the point where said patient is bringing in scripts from several different doctors to different pharmacies.
the only reason i know this information is because i was in pharma school [to become a pharmacist] for a year and a half, but was employed as a certified pharmacy technician for nine years. i literally just left my job a few months ago when i started my own business. but yes, they are going to call everyone on that list - including all the other pharmacies that you have been using. even the ma and pop one.
i hope you don't take offense to my post, but i know what it's like to want a straight forward answer, and people sugar coat it for me instead. not saying that anyone above has sugar coated anything - in fact i didn't even read the other posts. i just wanted to let you know what i know.
then, you mentioned something about how you don't feel as though there's a whole lot of truth. could you explain a little more than that? i only ask these two questions so that i can understand a little more where you're coming from.
about the whole pharmacy deal... i'm not going to sit here and sugarcoat it for anyone: they're going to call each and every one of your doctors that you've seen, been referred to and/or received a prescription from over the past 18 months. this is protocol, unfortunately. however, it's the law now in 40 something states because of the PMP [prescription monitoring program] that they've pulled into effect over the past 24 months now, if not longer. there has been too much of a rise in people abusing prescription drugs, especially opiates - so this is their way of informing doctors that it HAS been going on in their practice, and one or more of their patients HAS been abusing the pills, to the point where said patient is bringing in scripts from several different doctors to different pharmacies.
the only reason i know this information is because i was in pharma school [to become a pharmacist] for a year and a half, but was employed as a certified pharmacy technician for nine years. i literally just left my job a few months ago when i started my own business. but yes, they are going to call everyone on that list - including all the other pharmacies that you have been using. even the ma and pop one.
i hope you don't take offense to my post, but i know what it's like to want a straight forward answer, and people sugar coat it for me instead. not saying that anyone above has sugar coated anything - in fact i didn't even read the other posts. i just wanted to let you know what i know.
but like ricart said: i am not sure about the legal aspect of everything. i'm pretty sure you're going to be okay. but if you plan to continue your pill use like you mentioned a little bit in your post - you can be sure that the pharmacies you've been going to, even the smaller ones, are not going to take care of you anymore. either that, or they lose their licenses.
I had NO idea,,thanks for that info! It was very helpful. Ms Sally try and remain calm,,I know its hard. Hopefully you are on the path to recovery and its sooo worth it in the end~Bkitty
no problem!! but mssally: please stay calm about all of this. the whole legal aspect of what you're going through isn't going to go anywhere. i cannot promise you that, but could you imagine what it would be like for the "men and women of the medical field" to prosecute each and every one of their patients that have actually gone off and done this? as we all know, you're NOT the only one that has had to travel this road.
hugs to you, kisses too! keep posting!
hugs to you, kisses too! keep posting!
Bkitty. You're right. Making popcorn and enjoying my night. Scared though cuz this wasn't Walgreens or CVS. It was an independently owned pharmacy that my former employer refers a lot of pts to. Since the are cheapest and compound.
mssally i just thought of this...there is a user, mymayberry who is a current pharmacy worker and an absolute whiz at this sort of thing you could contact him if you want
@the addict great job on your large amount of clean days.i had 2.5 yrs but relapsed forr a yr and now hav 126 days way to go
@the addict great job on your large amount of clean days.i had 2.5 yrs but relapsed forr a yr and now hav 126 days way to go
okay, so i took it upon myself to read through all the posts on here like i should have in the first place. you posted on here the other day that you weren't going to get this script filled, correct? but you're telling us now that you actually did go and get it? correct me if i am wrong, only trying to follow this correctly, is all. <333
if the people in your old office were NOT the ones who called in the scripts that you're talking about, but instead, it was you... i would advise you to seek some sort of legal advice when you're able to this week, if at all. we had a gentlemen at my old work [not a CVS or walgreens either] that did the same thing. when he came in to drop off his script, the pharmacist made a phone call and that was that. he was taken out in handcuffs when he came back to pick the script up 30 minutes later. he didn't stay in jail - but he had to face a judge and admit to what he had done. not only that, but it was mandatory that he get checked into a rehabilitation center for his addiction and what not.
i hope this helps.
if the people in your old office were NOT the ones who called in the scripts that you're talking about, but instead, it was you... i would advise you to seek some sort of legal advice when you're able to this week, if at all. we had a gentlemen at my old work [not a CVS or walgreens either] that did the same thing. when he came in to drop off his script, the pharmacist made a phone call and that was that. he was taken out in handcuffs when he came back to pick the script up 30 minutes later. he didn't stay in jail - but he had to face a judge and admit to what he had done. not only that, but it was mandatory that he get checked into a rehabilitation center for his addiction and what not.
i hope this helps.
thank you! i really admire your sense of humor on some of these posts. like above.... saying your family member was red-flagged so much it was on her license, LMFAO!
Wow~ If that Thread don't make you think twice for putting another pill in your mouth...just saying
To theaddict. When I mentioned truth. I referred to posts on here. I searched dea red flags. Before posting. I felt a lot of old posts covered the topic (most in 07) but felt the posters wanted answers. Yet weren't honest. Didn't feel I got answers. Things like 'my friend stole a pad.....' I regarding filling the script. Yes. I tried cold turkey. Missed work. Wd's weren't getting better. Went to Dr. Came clean. Started a tapering process I'm happy with. Even tapering more than expected. Feel good. I knew nothing about this red flag deal until I came clean and filled that last script. Had I not gone to that pharmacy I never would've known. I don't plan on filling any more scripts. I'm mentally getting there. I didn't panic I was given less meds. I don't count the bottle. Why? Cuz I know what I'm doing is working for me. I told my bf last weekend as well. I'm no longer doing this alone. I'm accountable to not only myself but my bf and Dr. Coming clean was the best thing. My bf helps me get thru this mentally. Our relationship is something it hasn't been since first dating. I get where your going with still using. I am still keeping nasty cold turkey wd's away. But to lay in bed at night laughing. Cuddling. Knowing I'm sleeping after a day of now 3 pills. Well that keeps me craving more days like this. I'm no longer chasing a high. My pain. Well with stretches. Exercise. Well its improved.
I wanted to be totally honest on what I've done cuz I need honest answers. Posts on the search database I felt didn't help my question due to feeling the original poster wasn't being honest in their question or addiction. I didn't want to ask something if its been answered 100 times before. So I searched first :)
I'm not proud of going to the er when I ran short. Without insurance I couldn't afford the several grand in dental bills. I did use maybe 31 different dentists in the last year. Not for pills but antibiotics. The addict in me filled the pain meds too. I'm ashamed of what is Dr shopping in all aspects. These last few days felt great. Honestly when I take a pill I feel gross. Which is why tapering is working for me. I don't feel incapacitating wd's. But I'm not getting high from my dosing. I don't say 'that last pill didn't kick in. I need another' I'm not counting pills wondering when I'll run out. Like now. My last pill did nothing for energy. Happiness. Normally I'd be taking another. But ya know what. No reason to. I'm not physically miserable. A lil headache. But my head is clear. I don't take on a schedule. Rather challenge myself to go longer between taper doses. Changing my mental process of thinking. Realizing I'm happy and more and more time passes with giggles and fun and not thinking 'omg was that my 5th or 6th pill this morning'
I wanted to be totally honest on what I've done cuz I need honest answers. Posts on the search database I felt didn't help my question due to feeling the original poster wasn't being honest in their question or addiction. I didn't want to ask something if its been answered 100 times before. So I searched first :)
I'm not proud of going to the er when I ran short. Without insurance I couldn't afford the several grand in dental bills. I did use maybe 31 different dentists in the last year. Not for pills but antibiotics. The addict in me filled the pain meds too. I'm ashamed of what is Dr shopping in all aspects. These last few days felt great. Honestly when I take a pill I feel gross. Which is why tapering is working for me. I don't feel incapacitating wd's. But I'm not getting high from my dosing. I don't say 'that last pill didn't kick in. I need another' I'm not counting pills wondering when I'll run out. Like now. My last pill did nothing for energy. Happiness. Normally I'd be taking another. But ya know what. No reason to. I'm not physically miserable. A lil headache. But my head is clear. I don't take on a schedule. Rather challenge myself to go longer between taper doses. Changing my mental process of thinking. Realizing I'm happy and more and more time passes with giggles and fun and not thinking 'omg was that my 5th or 6th pill this morning'
Real quick to the addict. Given what I did to get scripts while working for a Dr and having Co workers call or FAX back refills. You think now a year later I can be facing jail? The fear of cops at my door is overwhelming :(
I can promise that it was Co workers that helped. Like I said. I think I signed 1 FAX for refill. I was scared. I would tell them I couldn't afford my Dr visit. They knew I was a recently divorced struggling mom and a cash trip to my Dr was a struggle. They did it cuz they thought they were helping in a good way. Not cuz o needed something cuz I ran short again. Even worse. Those scripts I sent my neighbor or bf to pick up. So my signature wasn't on the pharmacy log. Not proud but I was desperate last year.
Yes I didn't plan on filling this final script. But after coming clean to my Dr. The physical attributes and thoughts. Well I talked to my bf and did fill it. Knowing my Dr knows I've been using more and more. My bf knows I've been abusing period. Mentally I feel I failed at first. But for me. It's working. I'm proud of who I'm becoming and look forward to being proud of who I'll be. Now I fear that choice to fill that final script and taper per my drs advice may have been my downfall.
Right now I can't help but smile. My bf snoring on the couch cuddling the dog and normally I'd be running to my lil yellow helpers while he's not looking. Chasing God only knows what. But here I am. 6 hours from my last pill. Not craving. Happy I will sleep thru the night. Looking forward to see how far I can go tomorrow before I need a dose. Dr says spread the hours apart with a slow taper. Its like my new addiction. How far can I go between doses lol. But this fear in my head is eating me up. Afraid of a knock at the door.
I know tapering is still using. I know the chances and ease of just 1 more. I also know the seriousness of my situation and being totally clean is my only option. I can't ever fill a script again. The more time I can put between my name and a fill. The better I feel. I also know how much those around me love and need me. Many here have been clean for months and years thru a tapering method. I one day will be one of them :)
Yes I didn't plan on filling this final script. But after coming clean to my Dr. The physical attributes and thoughts. Well I talked to my bf and did fill it. Knowing my Dr knows I've been using more and more. My bf knows I've been abusing period. Mentally I feel I failed at first. But for me. It's working. I'm proud of who I'm becoming and look forward to being proud of who I'll be. Now I fear that choice to fill that final script and taper per my drs advice may have been my downfall.
Right now I can't help but smile. My bf snoring on the couch cuddling the dog and normally I'd be running to my lil yellow helpers while he's not looking. Chasing God only knows what. But here I am. 6 hours from my last pill. Not craving. Happy I will sleep thru the night. Looking forward to see how far I can go tomorrow before I need a dose. Dr says spread the hours apart with a slow taper. Its like my new addiction. How far can I go between doses lol. But this fear in my head is eating me up. Afraid of a knock at the door.
I know tapering is still using. I know the chances and ease of just 1 more. I also know the seriousness of my situation and being totally clean is my only option. I can't ever fill a script again. The more time I can put between my name and a fill. The better I feel. I also know how much those around me love and need me. Many here have been clean for months and years thru a tapering method. I one day will be one of them :)
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