thinking about going cold turkey off of hydro this weekend

[gottaBstrong]

I have been taking hydro or lortab for about a year now recreationally. I am up to 90-100mg per day. I sometimes will even snort some morphine if I am low on lortab supply. I went to a doctor the other day for help and he prescribed me colonodine. I was hoping this would help with the withdrawals and I could get started that day, but when i took the colonodine is started to hallucinate and hear voices in my head. I got really scared and decided I could not take this med. My doctor also prescribed me to zoloft, which I started today at 50 mg. I am seriously dreading the thought of quitting hydro cold turkey, but also am furious with myself that I ever got on them in the first place. I am in my last year of college and have a heavy load this semester. My excuse has been that I do not have time to be sick and get off of the pills...but I feel completely helpless on them now and know it is do or die, now or never. I have a fall break monday and tuesday so I wanted to start my detox on friday since I will have the two extra days. I know how I feel when I wake up in the morning without the hydros just for a few hours and I am in a panic, vomiting, diarrhea, cold sweats--until i finally get some, so I know this is going to be terrible. Has anyone out there been through this?  Is there any advice you can give me? I need to be strong and I need to do this but it is hard doing it on your own. PLease help me,

[gottaBstrong]

So I have everything prepared to be as comfortable as possible the next few days so I can get through this. I have given my boyfriend the pills to get rid of, so I no longer have access. I feel a positive attitude right now. My boyfriend, who i hardly ever see cry just came in crying telling me how proud he is of me for deciding to do this on my own because he never pushed me to do anything I wasn't ready to do. That just showed me that I do have someone who really cares for me and just knowing that I need to be the 100% best me I can be. I cannot be that with the pills. I hope I wake up in the morning with this same positive attitude. Now --I feel ready.

[gottaBstrong]

I like what you said if, "no need for a backup plan if you are truly done." I don't think I will truly be done until I wake up in the morning and my brain is still telling me I can do it. I have my plan all ready... I want this really bad.. but I am still holding on to the pills mentally.

[gottaBstrong]

Haha. I loved your post. I actually already have ice cream and frozen corn dogs. So i guess I am set!

[clean_in_ks]

I just read what you said about your boyfriend doing it....good idea

I asked my hubby to get rid of my pills...we live in the country...so he took my bottle(s) (soma AND hydros) with him in his truck and threw them out along the dirt road, into the brush, one pill at a time.  We probably had a lot of skunks and rabbits high around here...but at least not me....LOL

[toothfairie]

You could do that too!  as long as they are gone....and you are NOT a loser....it's a crutch that we have all had to let go of at some point....the addiction is telling you that you are weak....don't let it win.  Don't listen to it...if you don't flush them, you will want to take them when you feel bad.   I promise you, you can get thru this....

[clean_in_ks]

Your name says it all:  gottaBstrong......

I PROMISE you, if I had not gotten rid of my pills the day I determined to "be done"...I wouldn't be clean today...you can do this....no need for a backup plan if you are truly done...