Why??

[qpatty]

How is it possible that I actually am feeling a tiny bit better and NOW my resolve is crumbling? I actually showered, went to the store, fixed myself a good dinner and actually ate it. Which is a feat since I live 20 miles from a store! Optimistic about a little sleep tonight and NOW I am starting to really want a pill. When I was puking on my shower floor I was sure I never wanted another one. Makes no sense to me. The hard part is that my boyfriend(that I live with) takes my DOC. Right now I know he is scraping the bottom of the barrel but I also know that on Friday there will be 180 of the little devils in my house. How do I remain strong? I have no where else to go stay.

[spider6]

Oh my dear chicky, if you are thinking about this now then ya you are really screwed!  Jesus!  That's gonna be tough; coming from someone who's got like zero self control! I've been asking my hub to get a lock for the freezer, just so I can't get at the Hagen daas!  Ya, I say get a safe or get him to have them on him at all times.  And I mean at ALL times! I know that I myself would be scheming ways to get at them during those times he was sleeping or in the toilet or on the phone...whatever!  I feel for ya hon, but know this....if you're already thinking about this so early in the game, then you either haven't hit your bottom yet, or you really don't want this bad enough.  

This is not my first rodeo by any means and my last attempt at sobriety only has been working, I believe because I was SO F*CKING scared that I had really gone too far last time and already knee deep in my own grave!  I mean REALLY scared!  I also have done many other things differently this time. (This site for one thing).  Please keep your worst case scenario close in your thoughts.....you have come so far already, keep challenging yourself by doing the right thing FOR YOU.  

You seem like a really strong chick, you know you can do it and so do we all here.  Prayers of strength and stamina!  Hugs

[Scaredformylife1981]

I'm understand. My husband is prescribed 150 norco a month. Yesterday he got his refill. I knew they were in the house and there was a couple times I wanted one but I didn't do it. It's really hard. He is taking them to work today so they won't be in the house. Day 18 and I'm not looking back. You are gonna start to feel so much better. Just keep pushing...

[qpatty]

Thank you all, you are all right. Actually feeling tired, gonna try to get some sleep. If not I'll be back for another dose of encouragement. I will worry about Friday when it comes. I am going to my first meeting tomorrow.

[Tanz32]

Please just remember when you were laying on the floor throwing up...do you want to feel like that again?!? I know it's hard and I've been in the same position giving in at times, but just think of the times when you felt the worst cause if you give in you will end up there again. Good luck, stay strong.

[ariley13]

This is pretty typical. Once the physical stuff subsides, the mental really kicks in. (Also when we are deathly ill with withdrawals we are too weak and preoccupied to think much about using.) This is why people say 'it's easy to get clean, but hard to stay that way'. This is the time to submerge yourself in aftercare. Look into some AA/NA meetings. Counseling, addiction or otherwise. Church, this site. It really takes a conscious effort to stay clean. The cravings will get better with time. They become fewer and farther between, but it's a lifelong battle. Try to stay as busy as possible to distract yourself during the cravings. They will pass. You can do this!!

[Merri123]

Uugghhhh u are in a tough spot. You just have to stay strong.

Tell your BF that NO MATTER WHAT he is NOT to give you even one of them.  He either has to carry them with him always OR lock then in a heavy duty safe.  So you can't be tempted.

You can do this. You'll be ok. Have you gone to any meetings for support?

You know when you are in the throws of it, we all say never again!!!  Like that horrible hangover. But when it gets better you start forgetting what you just went through. Kinda like child birth right?  So the thoughts and cravings start. Just stay strong and keep your eye on the prize.