In total disbelief...........

[Jebs317]

So the awesome feeling of my brother being home came to a screeching hault yesterday.  My mother calls and casually drops a bomb..........."I thought it would be best to let your brother in on a little about what happened to you."  I could have stopped breathing!!  They know I went through a detox (5 day) inpatient last summer.  They don't know I starting using again and then stopped on April 1st......So her explanation to him was about my detox last year and the xanax overdose.  
Needless to say, I haven't talked to him yet....she told him yesterday (his 2nd flipping day home) and now I don't have the guts to face him.  I wanted to decide for myself if I would even tell him and how much I would tell him.
I give up...........I should know better than to feel good about something...like  his return......it didn't last long.
K

[shiningstar500]

Great to hear, enjoy the visit!

[salsinator]

Glad things went well with your brother Jebs.  Enjoy the rest of your time/visit with him.

[Jebs317]

I agree completely.  I actually have a wonderful family.  It's not so much the lack of support but my being stubborn and not asking for help.  You know the "always want to be perfect" syndrome.  I am learning that I am human and I make mistakes...I just don't want to make any of them twice.

It's all good!!  

[dominosarah]

I did understand your apprehension about telling him.  Not everyone has the good outcome you did.  I feel so bad for those who dont have the support of their families.

[Jebs317]

Oh Sara.....when you're right....you're right!!  I should have listened....I'm learning!!!!  

[laurel453]

so things went very well, so glad, jebs :)

[dominosarah]

I love when i can say "i told you so"!!!  LOL

Enjoy your night with your brother~~~~~sara

[Jebs317]

Thanks Sara and everyone.  
It's a much better feeling today.  I guess I over reacted and reacted too soon.  Time to just move on and enjoy the time I have with him.  
He is coming to my house tonight (he hasn't met our puppy yet) and I just want to put it all behind me now.
Thanks again to everyone.

[dominosarah]

As i said before....This is so frickin cool!!!  I am so happy for you Jebs~~~~sara

[Jebs317]

I faced it today.  I went to lunch with my mom and told her that I wished she would have let me tell him.  I also said that I wanted him to be home for a while before I did.  She explained to me that he had asked about my old doctor and the fact that he wanted to go to her....long story short, they got into a conversation and it was revealed.  
I went home with her and talked to my brother.  He hugged me...said "ain't no big thing" and also reminded me that he has made very similar mistakes long ago and also that nothing I could do would make him not love me and not respect me.
I feel a lot better now.....thanks to all of you for your support.

[LeaAnn807]

TALK TO HIM!  Do it! : )

[dominosarah]

Jebs, you grab your guts and go face your brother.  You have nothing to be ashamed of.  Your brother will see how far you have come and i believe he will be one of your greatest supporters.  You have over 5 weeks left to spend with your brother so make it a good time for the both of you.  Dont hide in shame.......Hold that head of yours high girl!!!      sara

[Cookie41]

Hi jebs, first off there is no shame in being an addict, especially one  who is trying to live clean, and also why worry about your brother judging u, nobody can judge u harder than yourself so ayone else is not even close. I know what your saying ive seen more bottoms than pampers, ive been an heroin addict for most of my 18 to 28 years then got on methadone for 12 more years and im going on my second week off of it, and i dont let anyone judge me.  take care of yourself, Cookie

[pillfree21]

I can imagine you feeling betrayed a bit, but from the outside looking in, which is where I am...it appears to me that now the brother you respect and love so much can now become part of the support system that you will need to stay clean and enjoy life.

As much as I love my wife, my children, my family....my recovery is top priority because I really can not be present with them until I have recovered and can maintain a clean lifestyle myself.  You have to give your brother a choice to decide for himself how he is going to handle it, I am sure he will love you just the same.  I know that I would still love my sister just like she still loves me...and we were born 11 months apart.

I hope everything works and more importantly, you keeping tallying clean days!

[laurel453]

girl, are you saying that all the happiness and all the good feelings you had are not possible any more now that your mother has talked to him about your addiction ?

no way, jebs, do not let this thing ruin what you are feeling about your brother coming home.

now, please, let's sit down and see this situation another way, ok ?

the best thing about not being active addicts any more is that we handle things different from the past.

so, step by step....the first thing is adressing your fears here about this situation and your feelings, you don't have the pills to hide from them, thank goodness, you have yourself to handle them.

and you can do it. This is one of the things you will have to face sooner of later... dissapointment about others actions, feeling upset, worried...

talk to your mother when you feel in calm and tell her your point, she shouldn't have done it as it is your life, but it is done. And talk to your brother as honestly as you are now with yourself .... tell him you wanted to talk to him about this and do it as you were going to do it