My 8 year old will not wipe properly after using the toilet

[debz1111]

is it normal for 8 year old girls not to clean after going to the toilet?
My 8 year old will not wipe properly and her pants smell every day, I have tried to explain that if the children in school notice the smell she will be called names.
I have tried everything I can think of, chastising, smacking, putting sanitary towels in her pants, punishing her even telling her that if she is dirty she does not go to her friends party. Hoping this would work, nothing works.
If I stand in the bathroom with her, she will clean so much, why won't she do this if I am not standing there?
I am so frustrated and at the end of my teether as she was such a clean little toddler.
What can I do?
Is it normal?
My 6 year old daughter is very clean but does have the odd day where she has dirty pants, I worry that she might go down the same route.

[Sandman2]

    Found the post I mentioned.  Its  http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/need-help/show/2074350#post_9827614
    Look for the one by AnnieBrook Jan 09

[brblair42]

I don't know if you really understand these situations.  You are outside looking in... I have the exact same problem with my 7 (soon to be 8) yr daughter. We've encouraged her, explained to her the importance of proper hygiene, provide the wet wipes, repeatedly showed her the correct way to use the paper, rewarded her for doing it right and also forced her to wash out her own panties as a last resort.  NOTHING WORKS!
This is more than an embarrassment to her; its not HEALTHY. We are all just trying to figure out WHY our children are doing this (or not) and HOW to help them.  Leaving them alone doesn't work. I would love a simple answer - but haven't found one.
So unless you REALLY understand, be careful criticizing parents who are at their wits ends trying to train their children.  Holding a child back because they aren't "emotionally" prepared to move up with their piers is not a punishment - its a harsh reality.  No child is allowed into kindergarten if they are not potty trained...  the similar principle applies to a 7/8 yr desiring to move up to 3rd grade. It intended to be a positive motivator...  Do you have any better ideas?

[Toemountain]

This is an odd comment. But I was chatting with a 29 year old girl. We talked about all kind of things. Well I asked her if she wiped or dripped dry , she dripped dry . She was born in Syria. Moved to the US at age 7. So maybe it is ok in other coulter's .
Just saying.

[Sandman2]

     As far as I can see, our only criticism was of a parent who wanted to hold her child back in school due to these problems.  I still stand by that suggestion.  I covered multiple possible causes in my posts.  Unfortunately, until you can figure out the "why", it's pretty hard to come up with a solution.
     What you are doing for your child as long as she does not have ADHD, or some other type of medical condition that she has no control of - is probably about all you can do.  It does not seem like you are shaming her or anything like that now.   It looks like immediate, consistent, cause and effect - which is how you change behavior.  Keep in touch and let us know how it goes.  Good luck!

[SteveRL]

My guess is that she has a sort of phobia about  **(PooP)** and doesn't want to get her hands in it. Even if toilet paper and wipes are between her hand and the Yuck. After all it is smelly and disgusting. She may have gotten her hand all full of it and it grossed her out and now doesn't want to wipe anymore. You could ask her if this is what happened.

[Cahin]

I have thought the same. I’ve been going thru this since she was potty trained. Now she’s 11.

[Lisa397]

My 8 year old is the same she sent to school with clean underwear,toilet wipes and deodorant sometimes she does it no bother sometimes she doesn't I've been too doctor to get refared as she poos as well all you can do is see a doctor and lots of positive comments even go into bathroom with him for a wile make sure he does then try him on his own just have to trying it is awful because sometimes my daughter will come out of school and you can smell it and she does try so I am thinking medical problem as I had one when younger as she would still wet the bed too about 2-3 times a week hope you get sorted xxxx

[Farvulous]

I have tried to explain to my eight year old as well. I even showed her what happens because she doesnt wipe...she has dirty underwear. I tried having her use wipes..I remind her each time she goes not to forget to wipe. Its been a struggle.  I feel like my grandma, she would smell clothes to determine if they needed to be washed. The other day the oder was so bad, and it was her pjs from not wiping. Its just easier to wash everything. Even if she only wears it for a couple of hours. I worry that she will get teased. So I try to make sure she has body spray on. And, poor thing sweats like her parents. So I try to make sure she has on deorderant too. These conversations are not easy. We have the all about you book. Hoping it will help. I feel bad because I don't want her to think I am picking on her. I tried to explain the oder could be noticed by others. Uggg...any suggestions.

[Sandman2]

   Well, its possible that having ADHD, she simply is in a rush to get back to what ever it was that she was doing and impulsively forgets or chooses not to clean herself.  Do you notice any difference when she is on or off her medication?  
   It is also possible that she has sensory issues.  Here is a good link about that - http://www.additudemag.com/adhdblogs/4/8527.html  -  if you read the comments below the article, you will find parents with similar problems.