My 8 year old will not wipe properly after using the toilet

[debz1111]

is it normal for 8 year old girls not to clean after going to the toilet?
My 8 year old will not wipe properly and her pants smell every day, I have tried to explain that if the children in school notice the smell she will be called names.
I have tried everything I can think of, chastising, smacking, putting sanitary towels in her pants, punishing her even telling her that if she is dirty she does not go to her friends party. Hoping this would work, nothing works.
If I stand in the bathroom with her, she will clean so much, why won't she do this if I am not standing there?
I am so frustrated and at the end of my teether as she was such a clean little toddler.
What can I do?
Is it normal?
My 6 year old daughter is very clean but does have the odd day where she has dirty pants, I worry that she might go down the same route.

[Sandman2]

   Well, its possible that having ADHD, she simply is in a rush to get back to what ever it was that she was doing and impulsively forgets or chooses not to clean herself.  Do you notice any difference when she is on or off her medication?  
   It is also possible that she has sensory issues.  Here is a good link about that - http://www.additudemag.com/adhdblogs/4/8527.html  -  if you read the comments below the article, you will find parents with similar problems.

[countryNana]

My 9 yr old grand daughter (have custody of since she was 18 months old)out right refuses to clean herself after using the restroom. She KNOWS she's supposed to. When asked why she doesn't she just shrugs and says " I don't know."  We won't 'reward' her doing it right on the rare occasion she does. Taking stuff away doesn't faze her. Punishment doesn't faze her.  She has ADHD and strong willed. We are At our wits end on how to get through to her. I've explained the importance of female hygiene and she just doesn't care.

[goldfinger1]

Rewarding your kid for cleaning themselves???????

[Andieann]

My daughter does the same thing. When asked why she isn't wiping, she tells me that she wants to get back to her toys or games. It has gotten so bad that she has had sores on her behind (like a bad diaper rash). I know that she knows how, but she chooses not to out of sheer laziness. For the parents out there who are saying that positive reinforcement is the ONLY way to help, you obviously have not been in this situation. "If you wipe after going to the restroom, you can have a treat"; talk about making the future generations entitled. They should not be rewarded (after they have been potty trained) for doing something they should be doing regardless. In cases like my child's, it comes down to pure laziness. They don't want to take the few seconds it takes to clean themselves properly because they are in a rush to go play. THAT is the main problem. They don't WANT to be dirty, they just don't want to take the time to clean themselves.

[specialmom]

I agree.  Children struggle and that kind of treatment compounds their issues.  It's very unfortunate when any parent handles a situation like this in that manner.  

[sownpeace]

Hopefully by now, your child is wiping better... my son has sensory issues and anxiety trouble so wiping for him is hard because he is unsure if he can do it without getting poo on his hands. It is incredibly frustrating for his father and I to still be dealing with wiping him, but we either wipe him, offer him gloves to wipe himself, or stay in the bathroom to coach him (as recommended by his O.T.). I can not imagine the parents on this forum who are saying that they have spanked their children for having an accident in their pants or not wiping. It is mean, disrespectful, and does not accomplish the goal that you are setting out to achieve; on the contrary, negative speech towards toileting (at any age and for any stage of potty training) WILL create anxiety in the child that can lead to LIFELONG toileting stress and/or gastrointestinal disorders. ~ April, M.Ed. School Counselor

[Anonymous_2019]

I know this post is old but I completely agree with you. I know parents aren’t supposed to judge other parenting styles and I do my best to live by that but for this… I don’t care… it is appalling to me that a parent would strike their child for this without it understand first why it happens. I think the parents saying they have shamed, spanked, humiliated, ostracized their child for this should be more upset with themselves than their child. That’s a disgrace.