Hi there
I watched the video? Is that the kind of music you like?
Not sure if I was supposed to be shocked by it? But I was quite relieved that it was a video of a song. I work with teenagers so I hear a lot of this kind of music is going around.
If you want help or advice (and there is much here) try writing a little more about what is happening with you. Or better still do you have anyone there you can talk to, who would listen?
If you feel worse you could take yourself down to the hospital or to a youth or community centre, where somebody may be able to help you.
You know you are worrying people on here and they care about you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3u3JSEqNtlg
Been there done that my friend. My severe depression also started at a very young age and it literally made me feel like I was going crazy because no one understoood the swurling tempist that resided in my head all the time.
Open up the phone book now and look up a number for a local Suicide hotline. (the people that work these phones are volenteers that are also sufferers just like you)
They will understand and will help you find direct help. (don't worry they will not call the Bam Bam ward on you)
You just talk to them and explain the best you can about your symptoms. They can find you local help.
This is how I first started on the road to recovery. Doing nothing and suffering is not an option and suicide is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
You are only 14 my friend. Now ask yourself how important the rest of your life is? With proper treatment you will see that it's pretty damn important. You can feel normal again, but you need to reach out for help and get that help.
If you're wanting to die, call someone, go to the hospital, life might be really rough right now, but you can feel better.
If you need to talk, I'm here for you. I know how you feel honestly, as i've been there MANY times before.