FORGIVENESS...where do you stand??

[joycekatherine]

Forgiveness...where do you stand on forgiveness, what do you forgive, is there anything that you cannot forgive??? Do we have to forgive everyone in order to get forgiveness ourselves??  I have struggled with this issue for a very long time, and I have even searched on the internet for  "how to" forgive, sort of a step by step instruction guide...everyone talks about forgiveness, but, no one really tells you how to do it...any thoughts???

[April2]

You bring up a good point, lonewolf. I think often times we are unaware of our own sins until someone points it out. In other words, often times we don't even realize if we are being judgmental towards someone and most of us would be horrified to hear someone point that out in us but sometimes we need others to see and gently show us what we may not see in ourselves. This only works usually with someone we are close to, whom we trust and who can gently do this in our best interest without any malicious meaning behind it.
I do understand. I've had people judge me based on untruths and it hurts and is unfair and our first reaction it to defend ourselves but I've had to really struggle with that to let it go and give it to God. It sure ain't easy, though!

[lonewolf07]

All the answers seem quite thoughtful and well thought out.  I do have a question that I might have missed in reading this thread, although April's comment about the German guard was close.  What does a group upon whom genocide has been attempted - sometimes successfully; sometimes not.  How does forgiveness fit in there.

I also find it interesting to read comments about forgiveness from those who pass judgement on others based on false information.  How can a person who judges based on untruths forgive or be forgiven?

You always ask such interesting questions  = )

[joycekatherine]

Your post to MJ was beautifully written and I have learned that forgiveness is really for me and not for those who have done me wrong.  I have forgiven most of the people in my life who have hurt me, but, I have found that some people are easy to forgive and then there are those that it seems impossible to forgive!  The hurt that they caused is so painful and so deep, it's like they have knocked your whole world off it's axis, and as much as you know, in your head, that you should forgive, your heart is broken and all these raw emotions tell your head to shut the heck up!  I had a friend of 41 years betray me and it's taken me almost 3 yrs to finally let it go, I still can't say I forgive her out loud, I say, I let it go.  My step-father sexually abused me when I was young, and forgiving that one is really tuff...for the most part I have let it go, but, letting it go may be the best I can ever do...
Star641, I can really empathize with you, I feel your pain...each forgiveness comes at it's own pace, better to say "I'm not quite there" than to fake it...I continue to ask God to help me...

[teko]

Forgiveness helps the one doing the forgiving. It rids ones inner self of the demons that rule your life. It actually has very little to do with the one being forgiven. Imagine life without hurt, anger, hatred ruling your life. The person who cannot or will not forgive gives those people way to much power over them, whether they realize it or not.

[April2]

No one can without God's help. We don't have the strength to do it on our own. It's not for their benefit, though. It's so you can have peace and let it go. It's not forgetting. It's letting God be the judge and you just sitting back and letting it go. It's not letting it affect your life anymore, because when you do that you've given that person power over you. When you can truly let it go, they no longer have that power over you.

[star641]

i cant forgive these two people who hurt me so much ,.....i know it would help me if i did but i cant !!and i never will !!!,......they dont deserve it in my eyes !,! they sit in the same house i visit at times so i make out that they are not even there !! that they are invisible to me ,!....will god turn his back on me for that ???......i am a forgiving person but i just cant forgive these two people ,.