FORGIVENESS...where do you stand??

[joycekatherine]

Forgiveness...where do you stand on forgiveness, what do you forgive, is there anything that you cannot forgive??? Do we have to forgive everyone in order to get forgiveness ourselves??  I have struggled with this issue for a very long time, and I have even searched on the internet for  "how to" forgive, sort of a step by step instruction guide...everyone talks about forgiveness, but, no one really tells you how to do it...any thoughts???

[ChitChatNine]

In addition to all of the above, what's wonderful about forgiveness is that it is a choice one has .... totally up to you.

C~

[Cherie762]

you have struggled with this for a long time, when you forgive someone, there cant really be any expectations in return because of 2 reasons, 1, its not likely to happen,,and 2, when you really really forgive someone you dont even expect that its just a walk away, the peace that you recieve is a gift from God to you, or if youd like to think of it a different way its a gift to yourself. It cleanses the mind of worries and stress, and it really does feel awsome.
Im not trying to put you down, I think you know by now that I understand you and value you, I would love you to be able to let some of your burdens go, you can not expect other people to reconcile, or apologies, I think you feel that need for self validation, and MJ your great, an artist so kind to people on here, love yourselfand others will follow , does this make any sense? hugs, from your friend, Cherie

[MJIthewriter]

I find it's easy to say I forgive anyone, but it takes a lot more work to actually do the forgiving, I mean completely no strings attached and without harboring bitter feelings and resentments...  That's where I struggle.  I can try to forgive a person, but I still find myself expecting some kind of reconciliation or apology or something… It’s much easier for me to forgive someone who is truly sorry and interested in reconciliation than someone not interested in those things.

So in effect, I gather that wouldn’t be true forgiveness.  To forgive someone without those expectations, must take divine power.

[Cherie762]

I have seen documentarys 20/20 and 48 hrs type shows , also a segment on Oprah once where peole have forgive the murderers of their loved ones, Once it was a woman 40 ish who forgave the manwho killed her daughter, she actually became somewhat of a mentor to him, corresponded and visited him in jail, That is alot to forgive,
I dont really personally think holding someone accountable for illegal activities is a form of non-forgivness, I think its just the right thing to do, As stated we want rapists, murders etc off the streets.

It would be great if we could let women know that our exs hit, or were abusive in other ways but of course that would require a great deal of negative energy and they wouldnt belueve us anyways.Most mean people appear to be nice at first,,,

[PlateletGal]

"but if someone has been abused in some manner within the law they do need to report it so it doesn't happen to others."

I agree with you 100%. Forgiveness is not excusing bad behavior (lying, abuse, etc.) We all need to be held accountable for our actions.

[ILADVOCATE]

Yes I agree with you but if someone has been abused in some manner within the law they do need to report it so it doesn't happen to others. Then they can move on in their thinking and understand that the reason the person did was because they needed help. The ultimate goal is if the way the issue is addressed the other person seeks help and understands that they were in the wrong but if they continue doing the same act to others either that's not good either. It still must stop. Its a complex area but anyone who has experienced abuse has the right to protect themselves but also the responsibility to protect others who may encounter the same person. After they've done that they are entitled to their feelings and at that point if forgiveness makes them feel at ease with what's happenned and at peace it does make sense.