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FORGIVENESS...where do you stand??
Forgiveness...where do you stand on forgiveness, what do you forgive, is there anything that you cannot forgive??? Do we have to forgive everyone in order to get forgiveness ourselves?? I have struggled with this issue for a very long time, and I have even searched on the internet for "how to" forgive, sort of a step by step instruction guide...everyone talks about forgiveness, but, no one really tells you how to do it...any thoughts???
I think Corrie Ten Boom says in best. If you don't mind I will copy and paste it here. Corrie Ten Boom and her family hid Jews during WWII and were captured and thrown into a concentration camp as punishment. Her father and sister died there. She was released by "mistake". You can read all about it in her book "The Hiding Place". Since her release, she gave many talks, written several books and stayed active in charity work until her death over 20 years ago. With your permission I will copy what Corrie discovered about forgiveness. I highly recommend reading any of her books. You will be inspired. Here it is:
In 1947 in a Munich church, she told a German audience that God forgives.{3} When we confess our sins, she explained, God casts them into the deepest ocean, gone forever. After her presentation, she recognized a man approaching her, a guard from Ravensbruck, before whom she had had to walk naked. Chilling memories flooded back.
A fine message, Fraulein! said the man. How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea! He extended his hand in greeting.
Corrie recalled, "I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me. . . But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. I was face to face with one of my captors, and my blood seemed to freeze."
The man continued: "You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk.... I was a guard there. But since that time I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well, Fraulein." He extended his hand again. "Will you forgive me?"
Forgive Him?
Corrie stood there, unable to forgive. As anger and vengeful thoughts raged inside her, she remembered Jesus' death for this man. Of His executioners He said, "Father, forgive these people, because they don't know what they are doing." {4}
How could she refuse? But she lacked the strength. She silently asked God to forgive her and help her forgive him. As she took his hand, she felt a healing warmth flooding her body. "I forgive you, brother!" she cried, "With all my heart."
And so, Corrie later recalled, "I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world's healing hinges, but on [God's]. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself."
In 1947 in a Munich church, she told a German audience that God forgives.{3} When we confess our sins, she explained, God casts them into the deepest ocean, gone forever. After her presentation, she recognized a man approaching her, a guard from Ravensbruck, before whom she had had to walk naked. Chilling memories flooded back.
A fine message, Fraulein! said the man. How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea! He extended his hand in greeting.
Corrie recalled, "I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me. . . But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. I was face to face with one of my captors, and my blood seemed to freeze."
The man continued: "You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk.... I was a guard there. But since that time I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well, Fraulein." He extended his hand again. "Will you forgive me?"
Forgive Him?
Corrie stood there, unable to forgive. As anger and vengeful thoughts raged inside her, she remembered Jesus' death for this man. Of His executioners He said, "Father, forgive these people, because they don't know what they are doing." {4}
How could she refuse? But she lacked the strength. She silently asked God to forgive her and help her forgive him. As she took his hand, she felt a healing warmth flooding her body. "I forgive you, brother!" she cried, "With all my heart."
And so, Corrie later recalled, "I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world's healing hinges, but on [God's]. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself."
I would agree with what other people posted but additionally its hard to forgive someone who can see no wrong doing in themselves or even mistakes. Usually an understanding with a person after a disagreement is a two way street and I can often see where I went wrong but if the other person thinks (with everyone not just me) that they are perfect at all times then I realize they are incapable of change and just tend to move on in life and hope they will develop a better understanding later.
Forgiveness is a difficult concept for me to understand.
It surely doesn't mean "forget" because we do remember those acts where forgiveness would be an issue.
It doesn't mean that we trust when we forgive because most of us are reluctant to trust someone whose betrayed us - at least for a while.
When I forgive someone I chose to not think badly about them although I don't forget and I don't immediately trust them again.
So I'm not really sure how forgiveness changes the parameters or dimensions of relationships other than I will treat someone I've forgiven civilly and with kindness - but often from a distance.
Mike
It surely doesn't mean "forget" because we do remember those acts where forgiveness would be an issue.
It doesn't mean that we trust when we forgive because most of us are reluctant to trust someone whose betrayed us - at least for a while.
When I forgive someone I chose to not think badly about them although I don't forget and I don't immediately trust them again.
So I'm not really sure how forgiveness changes the parameters or dimensions of relationships other than I will treat someone I've forgiven civilly and with kindness - but often from a distance.
Mike
I have a hard time forgiving ill treatment to children/animals .the elderly and anyone who cant stand up for them selves..but on the whole I forgive most stuff , I always (and I am far from a goody two shoes) try to walk in their shoes, think of how they must be feeling.what would make them do that or say that...I think you also have to dwell on the persons good points not the negative ones...Oh crumbs I do sound like a goody two shoes........
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