also btw, i failed to respond to what you posted. you spoke of being accused of cheating and other things. its seeming to me, that there are some very obvious similarities with ppl involved with a paranoid schizophrenic. the being constantly accused of cheating and lying. i am an honest person, and havent cheated on him or even thought about it one time. and if i were a cheater, i would not choose this man to cheat on that is for sure. with a man like this it seems there is never a right answer, as you are never right or honest in their mind. my guy would and did turn every word i said against me and somehow made me out to be some type of person that i am not. to me it was just not logical to think the thoughts he would think about. there was zero logic in them. but thats the thing, its not logical, its delusional. i would never question most of the delusional thoughts he would speak of. just listen. but then it got to where he would accuse me of sleeping with the nxt door neighbor man and even say he heard my voice outside and saw my car which he did not. thats pretty scarey to me, and i guess to him as well, not to mention the neighbor guy. my boyfriend later the following day, got himself all workd up with his theory about my cheating with the guy and went over and theatened to kill the neighbor. he did not kill him or even touch him only because the cops were called and got there really fast. My bf could take anything i said, any text he saw on my phone and somehow connect them to a delusional theory he had come to make everything fit the particular scenario. i started finding i had no privacy, and he would get my phone and search my contacts and any and everything on the phone just loooking for anything to prove that im a liar and a cheater and that he was right all along,. believe me, no matter what your not doing or doing, they can make it seem to fit what they are thinking. and eventually i would lie about small things, after i saw how he would react to things so irratically. so i thought it just wasnt worth the fight. and as fighting goes, there was never a fight with me and him. it was one sided attacks from him, which is not what he tells others. I could forgive him but i just cannot forgive and be with him when he really isn't taking responsibility for his horrible actions. he has explained it like it was just at fight that got out of hand with the two of us and thats just not the truth. Living with this type of man is verrrry hard because while hes so abusive, i have somehow made a million excuses for his behaviors due to his disease, and noone understands and just thinks i am stupid and must like to be abused. I do not like to be abused for one second but the truth is, abuse is abuse no matter what. the schizophrenia may cause him to be an abuser, but in the end, dead is dead. i can continue to excuse this behavior and stay with him and probably end up dead or i can stay away. Its a very difficult thing to deal with and noone really seems to understand what ive been through. My life has seriously been affected with this man. i am a different person than i was before him. i was a woman with a career and i had a good self esteem and knew i deserved good things. but i managed to stay with him, out of love and guilt and just thought and hoped things would change. i now dealing with the aftermath. i have ptsd, i am not normal in many ways, which i felt i was before him. i dont have a history of abusive relationships. i had a great upbringing and good parents. i had a wonderful loving father, and all the relationships i had were with pretty good men. so its not you sweetie and only god knows the right things you need to do to have as normal of life with him as you can, but just look out for your baby and yourself no matter what. cause ultimately thats the only things you really have control over is you. and your precious baby. please if things seem wrong and going in a really bad direction with him, just leave and always trust your instincts and gut feelings. i ignored mine and almost died cause i iknew after a few times of his abuse that it would not stop. i just ignored these feelings. just don't ignore yours. you can love a man like this but just always love you more. thats what im trying to learn to do after him.
omg. it is not just you. i promise. i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years. i knew that he had this disease, but i am the type who wants to fix everyone. and in the beginning of our relationship, i felt like it wasnt his fault for being this way, and i felt guilty about leaving him, partially cause he made me feel this way. to make a verrrry long story short, he began being abusive, almost right away. i have never been around abuse of any kind and thought it was just isolated events. it wasn't. he was screaming, ranting, cussing me, choking me, hitting me, slapping me, beat me with belt, or shoes or anything handy. He threatened to kill me many times and i was just terrified of him, but loved him and each time i left, he would convince me that he was sorry and he was going to get help. i just kept going back over and over, and at some point, my family tired of me returning back home, then back to him and them getting their lives uprooted and made chaotic by him coming looking for me. it was difficult to actually hide from him if i would have even tried. I just trying to do any and everything to make sure i didnt set him off. i kept a perfect house, just did everything to not "make him mad." I really honestly believed i had more control over setting him off than what i actually did. just about every type of abuse is what ive experienced. My guy is now serving prison time for the last incident of horror i had with him. it came out of nowhere. no way to anticipate what would happen. i simply woke him up before he was ready to be woken. he started yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs that he was tired of telling me the same thing over and over and me not listening. So i walked into the other room to get out of his "line of fire" and he was on me very quickly, slamming my head into a wall, screaming i was gonnna learn to listen and he was going to teach me tonight. i then endured a 4 hour ordeal of being beat, choked, alot of horrible torture, and tortured additionally by him telling me that i would not be leaving alive and that if he was going to prison, he may as well kill me, cause he is going anyways. i eventually felt there was zero hope for me and began to pray quietly and just pray that he would not torture me and it could just end already. i just couldnt stand the fear of knowing i was going to die. dying would be better. eventually after 4 hours or so, he fell asleep as he often would do after raging and abusing me. i tried to convince him that i would not leave or go to the police and against his better judgement, he passed out, and even went to work the next morning, i immediately had my sister come rescue me, yet again, and went immediately to the police station where i filed charges and pics were taken of the countless bruises and results of many hours of torture and then the not knowing if or when i would die. the pictures did nothing to capture the intense fear i had endured and the feelings i was feeling. I have just recently broke up with this man, while he is in prison. i know deep in my heart, that i will end up dead if i dont walk away. so currently thats where i am at. part of me feels sorry for him, but scared of him but loving him. its very hard to deal with so many emotions. i wonder if him being incarcerated during the break up will give him time to not want to look for me when hes released or will give him more time to think about it. IDK. i just dont know what to think because he had shown nothing but completely irratic behavior since we have been together.he is not on medication for this and believes that he can fight this without meds. He even acts proud of not having to take meds. like he is stronger than this disease but i know he is not. i feel that with what hes done to me physically, if he can't control it and it just happened, then why would he be able to control it in the future and if he could control it and just chose not to excercize an ounce of self control, then he meant it and what would keep him from an attack in the future. i see no other way but to walk away. i love him, but i am attempting to love myself enough to choose my life over his feelings. i know this was a rather lllloooonnnng response to your post and i didn't even scrape the surface on the actual abuse and torture i endured at his hands. not to mention the humilation i felt. i am sorry for being long winded but i am trying to deal with this and its very hard. idk if this helped you or not. i know there are different scenarios with ppl with this disease. i happened to end up with the man that was an extreme version. very unpredictable and extremely violent and dangerous. i understand that this is a disease that with treatment can be controlled and these ppl can lead a productive, full happy life. i just haven't had this experience unfortunately. i have just lived in fear, and teeter tottered back n forth with the fear and my guilt. hope this shed some light on how things may turn out. i hope not. every situation is different. and one thing i do know for sure is love is not the cure. and nothing you do will change it. its not you its the schizophrenia. i felt i had some control over it. i did not. but the positive thing is i am alive so i didn't end up one of the smaller statistics of what can happen with a violent schizophrenic. good luck.
Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for 15yrs. Things are getting progressively worse. in the beginning he was normal. over the past few years hes becoming delusional. I asked a psychiatrist and he said it sounds like he suffers from paranoid delusional disorder. My boyfriend thinks people are following him, that there are hidden cameras in our apartment. That I'm poisoning him and cheating him. If I move my foot the wrong way and he hears a noise in the apartment he thinks I'm sleeping with our neighbor. If I sniffle during a song he thinks I'm hinting that I'm cheating. He feels he's normal so he wont get help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I love him very much and don't want to leave him. He needs help
Hey everyone. I was in a relationship with a man who too suffers from this mental ilness. I fell in love with him very quickly, (he swept me off my feet) did all of the things that a "regular normal guy" doesnt usually do. weekly flowers, spontanious dates and cassanova type of stuff. There was a traumatizing even that happened to him a few months after we started dating. This may have been the trigger to what I recently found out and believe is a relapse. I was unaware of his mental ilness when we first met, and had I know I most definitely would not have gotten involved with him. It may seem harsh and cold but, growing up in a household with a parent who suffers from bipolar disorder I am nowhere near emotionally, physically, and mentally prepared to deal with someone who has another form of mental ilness. I have nothing against the supporters or the people who are actually mentally ill but for the young ladies who are saying "i will never leave him" or "I want to be there for him" I want to suggest that u mean that with all of your heart and not because u feel the need to be in a relationship.. U need to prepare yourselves to unconditionally love them like u bore them yourself. This is a disease that not only affects the person carrying the disease but it also affects the people involved in the persons daily life. If u are worrying about someone more than u are worrying about your own mental being how will u properly be able to help or be there for someone else? I love that the ladies here are strong enough or at least think they are strong enough to cope with such a situation and i sincerely commend the people who are serious about helping and staying with their spouse no matter what their mental ilness is. The number one form of help is making sure that your loved one is on his/her medication daily and getting the right counseling and support team needed. If you accept your loved one telling u that they are not going to take their meds then u are hurting their disability and putting not only them at risk of hurting themselves but, they can potentially hurt you. so to the people who say "I dont know what to do, he wont take his meds." get the hell away from him is what u do, and only when the person cares enough about themself to seek treatment should u continue to support them and engage in "being there for them" See even a doctor needs to have a doctor so do not try to play the "doctor" in this case because u can severely damage someone in making them think its ok to not take the right treatment. see I was stabbed, my car was taken and things that could have been avoided happened because of nonmedication. Be careful, I know my opinoin is not needed which is why I am not giving it and besides I love all people, no matter what their classification but if u dont not see a long term future and do not sincerely and unconditionally mean that u want to be there then do u and the other person a favor and let them go. Any thing from a death in the family, bad news from a loved one or a simple break up can really affect the relapse and you should definitely think long term I.m not a professional which is why it is my prefrence to avoid being in a monogamous relationship with anyone that suffers from the disease but, I do empathize with them and the people who are supporting (truely supporting). best luck to everyone and their loved ones.
I have been with my fiance for almost a year and i am 5 months pregnant with his child. He is paranoid schizophrenia bi polar and sometimes it gets a lil hard to deal with but i love him with all my heart and just try to see it through. The hardest part of our relationship is there is no 50 50 in it everything always has to go his way or we are yelling at each other all day long. I am always having to think about everything i do and whether it will make him mad or not because i am sooo tired of arguing. The worst part though is sometimes we argue over something soo stupid and i seriously believe that in his mind he told me something but never said it out loud and then he is yelling and getting mad at me because i didn't do what he wanted me to and i tell him he never told me to or asked me to do whatever is he wanted me to do and he will call me a liar and i know im not going crazy my memory is not that bad so i seriously believe his mind is playing tricks and causing us to argue. he refuses to take meds or anything he says he has too much pride for that. i truely love this man with all my heart but sometimes it is just too much to deal with and i just want to snap on him and i know i shouldn't. i try to point these things out to him but he just ignores it and counteracts with stuff to blame on me. every time i try to talk to him or point out things it always turns around onto me and turns into being my fault when i know i haven't even done anything wrong. Does anyone else have this problem with there boyfriend or fiance or husband or is it just me...?
what is wrong with your boyfriend is probably psychosis does he see a doctor?