I am numb

[Jane39]

I am going to ramble here for a bit so please forgive me.  About 6 months ago I was feeling quilty that I had put this cancer behind me and was confident that I was in the clear, being a Stage 1A, but clear cell histology, with 6 cycles of chemo all projected to be behind me,  but for the past month + I've had this gnawing feeling that something wasn't right.  I've had mild twangs on my right side and some bloating.  I stepped up my appt with my gyn/oncologist, exam, pap all normal, my ca125 at the end of June was 5.9, he wanted me to step up my pet/ct scan in which I had yesterday.  My nightmare started when the nurse called about an hour after I got back into my office.  She was dancing around everything but needed me to go back in and get a dedicated CT and another CA125.  I started sweating and literally thought I was going to pass out.  Long and short of it, I have a 2.68 cm x 2.68 cm nodal mass behind my stomach, that had FDG uptake on the PET, and was confirmed to actual tumor on the designated CT.  They will biopsy it to confirm that it is ovarian tumor, but they are confident that it is, and I guess they will remove it and then Chemo again.  They expect me to respond well, as I did the first time to get a 4 1/2 yr remission.  I truly believed that it was never coming back, so as I am sure some of you may know, how devasted I was to get this news.
I hate this cancer.  I have never cried so much in the past 18 hours.  I know I can do this, the surgery and the chemo, but ~~~~~what can I say, I am truly numb at this point.
Jane

[lavender2]

I had a CT scan after chemo ended, (1 1/2) years ago, but I've heard no mention of having another one.  How often should one have CT scans?  

[dawnlyn]

I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you, you are and will be in my prayers.  I hope your recovery is speedy...Please know that we are all here for you.  

I do not get a CA125 test done, my doc said not a good indicator for me.  Mine fluctuated between 9.8 and 11.  But I have been getting CT scans every 6 months,

You will beat this, please take care and rest as much as possible.

Love,
Dawnlyn

[phoensam]

So sorry to hear you are going through this...I can't imagine how tough it must be.  I feel confident your surgery will go well and that it won't be long before this nasty disease has left you once again.  I look forward to hearing that you are back on your feet after the surgery.  

[Jane39]

Nope my CA 125 was a 9.  That is slightly elevated for me, mine would go from 3.9 and the highest I think was 7.  So as I've preached to a couple people, whom have the same diagnoses, Stge 1A clear cell, believe it or not, some of these women are getting NO scans at all as followup.  I may grow green as I think this scan was my 8th?  This time this scan saved my life, if I had a doctor that monitored me with CA125 test alone, I'd be in trouble.
Again all of you ladies, your support and words of faith, are truly wonderful.  I really need it.  I will post "sometime" after surgery.  This time the incision will be quite big, so I expect healing may be a little harder, but we'll see.
Hugs to all of you!!
Jane

[lavender2]

Jane, what a shock.  I'm sorry to hear your news.  I am stage 1c clear cell - 1 1/2 years out.  I'm glad they found it early.  Did your CA-125 go up at all?

[ineedtohavefaith]

Jane, you will be in m prayers...as I just said to a friend....once you get rid of the tumors, the cells that are left deserve a little chemo cocktail...and it will taste like Raid, LOL Keep your chin up...love n prayers, Denise