So Angry

[Jane39]

I am just so angry now.  I don't have all the details yet, but my neighbor just sent me an email, as I have been trying to get in touch with her about having her join me in an event in September for Ovarian Cancer, and she has been out of town because her mom's Ovarian cancer returned after less than 2 years, she just endured bowel reconstructive surgery and was hoping to go thru chemo, but died this past Monday.  The scary thing is that she was originally diagnosed a Stage I.  I am tired of this disease, I am tired of crying, I am tired of being scared, I am tired of this disease claiming the lives of such wonderful people, I hate it.  I am sorry to rant, but I think each and everyone of you understand where I am coming from.  

[lvfrogs]

Jane,
I am so sorry about your neighbors mother. Everyone's comments on here are so right. I am sick of hearing about another friend dying of OVCA, it just breaks my heart and the awareness is getting out there, but not enough!! I support research for all cancers too but we need it desperately for OVCA and you just don't see that support out there. You see pink ribbons everywhere!! and I am glad about that because that is important too but we need to see TEAL ribbons. Good for you for participating in a walk. I believe they might have one here in my area in September. I will have to watch for it so I can participate. I want to do that so much.
I watched a movie yesterday about the doctor who developed herceptin (sp) for breast cancer and it was a very moving movie, I cried. and I sat there and thought, I pray there is a doctor out there like that who is working on something for Ovarian Cancer. We can pray.
Colleen

[Jane39]

Amen Dian!!  It constantly lurks in the back of my mind.  My own husband couldn't understand why my daughter tattooed her self with an Ovarian Cancer Ribbon with wings on it (which I am thinking about doing myself), I told my husband, you just don't get it, do you.  No one knows if I am actually cleared or not, despite being Stage 1.  My neighbors mom just died 2 years out being Stage 1C, that terrifies me.  This disease is like Russian Roulette with a very loaded gun.  
I don't think people realize how horrible Ovarian Cancer is until it comes knockin on their door, seriously they have no clue.

[shewrites]

And erectile dysfunction is probably embarrassing ... but it's not fatal!  

[marie3B]

Dian, Yep!!!!  Look how much money has gone to erectile disfunction!  Marie P.

[dian07]

It's not a disease men get......I know that sounds awful, but , men , by and large, aren't affected by this disease.....it's relatively rare for women to get it; so, most of their wives and daughters don't ever deal with it.  If they had ovaries it would be a different story and we all know it....whether we admit it or not.  If wealthy white males got this disease there would certainly be a way to detect it early.  The PSA came about rather quickly when rich white men started being diagnosed with prostate cancer leaving them impotent !  Just think about it before you get mad at me for saying all this.....Please?!
Something strange happened to me today.  I overheard a conversation between two of my granddaughters and a friend of theirs.  The girls are 10, 11 and 13.  They were discussing high fructose corn syrup and the effect it has on some cancers (a discussion I had with them earlier) when my 11 year old granddaughter said.....my gramma had cancer....the 13 year old said "both our grammas had cancer and the other one died (breast cancer).  My 11 year old chimed in that "this one had ovarian cancer", and the 13 year old said "she still does.....".  I am 5 years out and she is still afraid of what tomorrow will bring.  Sometimes that fear creeps into my thoughts as well.
I love you guys and wish none of us ever met this stupid disease.....but my life has been enriched by getting to know you all.
Peace.
dian

[marie3B]

That is why I am so disgusted with the Pres.  My mom died of ovca.  Believe me if I ever found myself president I would funnel so much money to ovca research heads would spin.

[ireneo]

I want to say something but not sure what I can say. Inside I'm fuming with frustration and anger. Also hurt and sorrow at how many women have fought this beast and didn't succeed and how many are still literally fighting for their lives.

I know several women that are friends or at least acquaintances here in town that have fought against breast cancer. Off the top of my head I can think of at least 10. And how many have won the battle? 9 of those 10. Only one woman passed away.

I know personally 2 women that have dealt with Ov Ca, one is still fighting after 8 years and one was gone within 2 years of being diagnosed. And do we even want to count the women that have come and gone here? No. . . . .

So when is the government, the medical community, the average public person going to realize how dangerous ovarian cancer is? When will they take it seriously? I'm tired of it being swept under the carpet.

[marie3B]

Yes, cell phones.  I look at them as a luxury.  Guess my state government (months or years behind in reimbursing doc for Medicaid/Meidcare) thinks it is a prioriyy to give my neighbor boys cell phones much more important than fighting cancer.  I am going to fin a teal, an orange and a purple cancer ribbon for my car.  I do have a bumper sticker that has started several conversations with strangers.  Loreal products support ovca too.  Marier

[Jane39]

The only thing we have to do is it starts with each of us, make a difference the best we can.  I have a ribbon on the back of my car, I am going to do every Ovarian Cancer event I possibly can, I am going to chew the ear off every senator I can, I have to get more involved.  This is my life,  This is my cancer, if I can make a difference, just a slight difference, hey it's worth it.  It's gotta start somewhere.  Right?

[Memmers]

This is terrible, I can't take it anymore.  I too am tired of everyone doing everything for the "Pink" cancer.  I don;t want to sound rotten but Mammo's are done on a regular basis here in canada and paid for by the gouvernment but ultrasounds we have to wait months for and by then it might be too late.  Something has to change.  Everday I come on this site I see beautiful women losing the battle with this ugly disease.  Something has to be done and we need to start seeing the color "Teal" everywear.  We need to the the Teal Ribbon on everyone's car.  Things have to change.

[Jane39]

That was lovely Marty, I understand and that's why I am trying to be more pro-active in fighting for Ovarian Cancer Awareness.  I guess lately the pain in losing more and more people to this disease just gets the better of me and everyone sometimes.

[SimplyStar]

What can I say to ease any of your pain?  I do not have cancer, but have lived through it , by watching my daughter fight it and lose her battle  2 years ago.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and of ALL the many women I have  MET on this forum. We are women, we are the bringers of life. It is our purpose,  in our granted time on earth,  to bear children, nourish them and pass on the knowledge we have inherited.  If we were priviledged to pass our years without any tears, that wouild be good,  but for so many, those tears are shead over what we as Mothers, Sisters, Daughters  consider  a waste of a life.  Now that I look back, I  know that my daughters life was not wasted, she brought love and understanding to her family.  I will miss her till I  too am gone, just as I remember  and cherish  the freindship I had with  Jan, Chris, Becky, Deandra, the Helens, Mary and the Maries, and OH so many more, my life was enriched by knowing them,  I could not stop this desease from taking them, I can only hold them in my heart,  their lives had a purpose for me.  In the beginning when  my daughter was first diagnosed, I would answer posts with knowledge that I had gained as a nurse, I did a lot of research, trying to find an answer to the problems that OVCA gave to us, now it seems all I do is offer condolences.  Yes I was very angry   in the beginning, trying to lay the blame at some ones faults, but this did no good. I was told many times that it was "Gods plan" , but my medical training told me different, there is an answer to this desease and it will and MUST be found. Learned people throughout history have found cures for horrible deseases.  I had polio in 1952, 2 years later a vaccine was found, smallpox killed millions, now it is eradicated, they are beginning to find answers to cancer, we  must never give up, we must  keep OVCA on the minds of people so that it too can be cured.  I am sorry if you feel this is a lecture, but it is something I feel very deeply about.  My love is with you all.  Marty

[Jane39]

I was going to post something separate about it, but it's 9/12/2010 in Annapolis, Maryland 5KRun 3K Walk to Break the Silence on Ovarian Cancer, benefits the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition.  My team is Jack's Angels (my grandson is the pack leader ;) , any body in close range that wants to join me is more than welcome: or if anybody would like to donate, feel free
http://nocc.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=425011&u=425011-298387936&e=3603788898

or if anybody would just like to read about the event,

http://nocc.kintera.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=425011


I hope your mom's appointment gives you good news.

[babeblue94]

Can you please direct me to ifnormation on the September event??  I too get frustrated with the pink ribbons, I know that's awful but I resent that Ovarian Cancer isn't advertised as much.  I just went to a donation website and found that they have every type of cancer ribbon color on there including clothes, magnets, jewelry, etc.  I just ordered a car magnet and bracelet for myself and my mother who is currently dealing with this disease.  I hope I get it in time for her to wear her "strength", "courage", "love" teal bracelet to her Doc apt on Friday.  Not sure what to expect since the CT didnt show anything, but she isnt feeling well and CA is up to 305.  
As a daughter I feel all of your pain but at no level can I truly understand what you all go through even when i am right next to my mom watching it all happen.  I just have alot of sorrow and anger myself and alot of tears to shed.

[Jane39]

cell phones? are ya joking me?  What is wrong with the governement?

[marie3B]

Okay. Another stupid waste of money:  In my state, don't know if it is Federal, anyone on a Medical card  gets a free cell phone with 200 minutes a month.  How much money does that cost???? Every little delinquent in my neighborhood has a phone from this program.  Do they use it for emergencies? No. They use it as they sell drugs.  That phone money should go to Cancer research.  Where is common sense in politics? I am just hoppin' mad that Rebecca has gone from us and Jane's friend.  We have some scientists with promising ideas that don't get funded to further their research.  Every where I go I rave on about cancer funding.  Maybe the right person will hear me some day.

[Jane39]

Same here, my mother had early stage breast cancer, I just want to see more Teal Ribbons, so my daughter, and any future granddaughters, and anyone else out there, get a fighting chance against this disease.

[marie3B]

I know the company. I buy my stove top cleaner because they support the teal.  I very much want a cure for breast cancer, too.  My cousin I have loved for 49 years has fought breast cancer.  I just want ovca to get a  fair portion of funding for research.  

[Jane39]

Rant away ladies, Rant away, I think we all entitled somedays.  I feel quilty somedays as I get farther away from cancer diagnosis, but then feel like it's nipping at the back of my heels all the time.  
And not that I diminish anyone fighting breast cancer, but everywhere I turn there are pink ribbons everywhere.  I got so excited when I picked up a container of stainless steels wipes and there was a little tiny teal ribbon on the container, that this company supported Ovarian Cancer Awareness.  A small teal ribbon in a sea of pink.  
You know, and I am ashamed to say that I didn't know that our so called president lost his mother to Ovarian Cancer, that is just horrible to say the least. Now I am even more Peeved.
Like I said before, I wanted to put my cancer behind me, pretend that I never had ovarian cancer, NO, it's forever a part of me, and it's people like me, and you that have to stand up and do something.  We have to be heard.    Every little bit helps.  This disease *****.

[dawnlyn]

Jane,

I am so sorry about your neighbor's mother.   I know where you are coming from...So many beauftiful women taken from us.  This disease robs us of so much and then it can finally rob us of precious life.....You are right the tears are flowing so steady....I too was diagnosed at Stage I  in Feb. 2008 they are still monitoring me with CT scans every 6 months...Which my next one is on the 16th of Aug...I am already starting to worry but I know that is part of all of this....I am with Marie why can't our government quit spending money on really stupid projects and pour more money into Cancer research......To all please rant here as often as you want....We are all here for you and we all need to rant at times.....Thinking of all of you....Love, Dawnlyn

[marie3B]

Jane, I opened my local newspaper today and in the death notices saw another ovca sister.  She fought so hard only to have this monster take her away.  I am at the point where I get snippy with people asking for donations for just the "pink" cancer.  Yes the
"pink" needs research, but so does every other cancer.  I say my donations go for ovca, colon and general cancer research.  I really thought (mistakenly) that having a president that lost his mom to ovca that we would see some help on the way.  I am mad too.  At the goverment for funding a stupid research project to see how monkeys react to cocaine.  Couldn't that money better serve the people if given to the American Cancer Society?????  Also mad at all the doctors that never believe us when we know that we have cancer.  I went to a female gyne in 2005 for an annual check and asked to have a ct about a hard lump behind my belly button.  She said it was probably a hernia.  2nd opinion doc said 1st doc probably right.  I still fight that tumor today.  Not a hernia. Also mad that having cancer can bankrupt a family.  I'm done ranting.  Marie

[silver&gold]

Jane I,m so sorry about your neighbours Mum, it is an evil disease and a very scary one.You have been and are going through so much and you have every right to rant whenever you need to. I am so sad reading of all the wonderful women being robbed of life from ovca.
I consider myself one of the lucky few that was diagnosed early, still had chemo but have reached 5 years. Believe me I,m thankful everyday and have been in tears about the losses and struggles of women on the forum.
Sending you a big hug Jane , and yes I know where you are coming from.

Love
Angie