Back in the dating world again but, maybe not...

[twinkly84]

Hello,
I'm writing to ask a simple question but, I am hoping to get brutually honest answers too.
I am 39, full-figured, a workaholic, never married, no kids, college educated w/ 3 degrees.
I have travelled all over the world & am interested in many hobbies. I am average looking but, as stated, I am full-figured. I weigh 253 lbs. @ 5'4". Yes, I am fat. So, who hasn't seen a fat woman before?

Anyway, I live with a male roommate. He & I used to date from 2000-2004. However, he told me he didn't want to marry me & didn't love me. Here's the crazy part, we work & travel still together & in 2009, he & I got an apartment together & have been sharing ever since! This was his first time in 2009 until present, living in alone whereas, I have been on my own alone in apartments since I was 19!!!!! Weird or what?!

Recently, as of this Monday, I decided to give Plenty of Fish another try to find love. This was at the push of my brother & several colleagues. So, I did it.

Last night though, I was IMing a man & he asked about my status @ home. I told him I live w/my friend who is a man. He said he didn't want to go further b/c, he felt it would be too much drama. I told him I am not involved romantically, emotionally or physically with him. When I give my word, I am no liar.

So, the problem is....should I state this fact about my roommate on my profile? How would I word it to clarify that I am not involved at any portion with him in the dating sense? What should I say?

Or, should I just let it go, go w/ the flow & rely on the man's good maturity to understand that the reason I'm roomming w/him is to save $ & as stated, we work & travel together.

Please help b/c I don't want to be hurt again....

Thanks,
Twinkly84

PS: My profile has a lot of men that want to meet me & that's a good thing but, I don't want this to be a problem & have it keep coming up. Otherwise, all of my life is good & I am open for marriage/a good man.

[shell921]

Hi - you are welcome. well i say don't put it on the profile because it's really not a problem for you and it's a temporary situation. If a man gets to know and like you first then he will be better able to understand your situation. I don't think it's sneaking around or lying or even withholding. You WILL tell any man who is interested enough in you to have a few dates with you - right? You don't reveal everything about yourself to any man unless you see a possible future with him-right? Romance thrives on mystery. IF the subject of your living alone or not comes up before 2 or 3 dates just say you have a "roommate". If you met a man you really liked and you had 3 dates and he then told you he had a platonic female roommate would you feel like you have been lied to? I wouldn't.

[twinkly84]

Hi,
Thanks for your comment.
I am not being weird here but, can I ask why I shouldn't put out there? See, a colleague of mine told me she's on the same site & that she would definetly put it out there. She feels if I don't it's like sneaking around & that he would drop me then, if he found out later & I didn't tell him first. So, I am trying to find out what is the best way to do this?

I am asking you why do you think I shouldn't put it out there?
Just asking.

Thanks.

[shell921]

I would not put anything about your living situation in your profile. It should not even come up as a subject on a first date. If you meet a man who clicks with you and have a few dates THEN you can explain your living situation. Bravo for you for putting yourself out there - best of luck & all good things to you.