Please Help Me... I need advice ASAP

[bigmistake22]

I am in a seriously committed relationship with the complete love of my life. Weve shared over 4 amazing years together. She is the best thing in the whole world and Ive always been the most perfect amazing person I could ever be for her and have always made her the happiest girl in the world. She is my soulmate and I want nothing more then to treat her like a queen until the day I die and grow old together with a beautiful family. I have always been a sweet loving person until i screwed up big time and Ive hated myself ever since. I have always been loyal and never cheated on anyone nor thought I even could. Awhile ago, i went with a few of my friends on a guys weekend and we ended up at a strip club. I never go to these places and went with the same group of guys to vegas for a fiends bachelor party a couple of years ago. In vegas we went to the strip club 2 nights in a row and I never let a stripper come near me. My friends all have long-term girlfriends but are the type of guys who routinely get lapdances from strippers and some even more, while i always looked down upon this and never partook in these kind of activities. However this time around, i was at the strip club and got solicited by one of the dancers to go for a lap dance in the private area of the club as all my friends were doing. I was drunk, felt a bit pressured by the girl but I made a stupid but conscious decision to, I have no one to blame but myself. This girl was gross and I honestly dont remember what she looks like. Right away when we got to the couches the girl grabbed my privates over my pants and asked what we were going to do. I said Im not interested in anything like that! She said will you at least stay for 2 dances. I said I couldnt as we were about to leave the club soon to go to the casino. So she said if you pay me for 2 dances Ill make this one alot better..implying that she would let me touch her and also touch me down there.

[RainLover71]

You made a mistake but you feel remorse and I doubt you will ever do this again--love your woman because she is forever--you're just another John for that stripper and she couldn't give a rats a$$ about you.I wish you all the best.There was a heated Journal yesterday about men who cheat,etc and why they do it when they constantly say they love their wives/girlfriends so much--I guess we will never know the answer.

[specialmom]

Hi, I read the rest of your post dear.  I guess silence could be golden here because in essence, you allowed a sex worker contact with you.  Yeah, I'd be pretty upset.  That is more than a lap dance.  

She'll probably break up with you for it as this makes you high risk for cheating.  


So, it is up to you if you want to admit to having a lap dance (witnesses?) but I too would leave out the other part if you can.  Because there is probably no excuse for it and she is going to think you cheated in a way.  

ugh.  I'd really not drink anymore.  good luck

[bigmistake22]

I would NEVER do something like this again (i would honestly rather die...a thousand times over) ...and i know she knows that. She has in essence an idea of what I let happen. I honestly wanted to be forthcoming. She knows i let her touch me inappropriately under my pants. Just not for how long. Im so ashamed. It makes no sense to me as to why I did it, other then got tempted in the heat of the moment and didnt restrain myself. I honestly had no intentions of anything of the sort happening when I went for that dance. Its just AWFUL and your right theres no excuse for it. Its just so sickening. I regret it with every inch of me.

[Hobby10]

Forgive yourself.  And let it go.  Whether it was 10 seconds or ten minutes what difference does it make?  It's over.  It it makes u feel better confess the whole truth but the smart thing is probably just forget it. Let it go and forgive yourself.  Peace and love hobby

[specialmom]

I think sometimes we make mistakes and they make us better people.  Yes, I'd be so very hurt and upset if my partner did this.  But on the plus side, you've now gone to the edge where you legitimately could lose your relationship for a stupid moment of losing control.  What is the lesson you now have?  Don't ever put yourself in that situation again as it isn't worth it.  Try to cut back on your drinking and avoid strip clubs.  

I do wish you luck.  You sound like a sincere and good person.  

[TTinKKerBBell]

Stay out of strip clubs - if You've seen one, You've seen them all!!  

Stay away from alcohol - It messed with Your Integrity, Your Morals, Your Faithfulness, etc.

I too think You sound sincere but You have learned that alcohol and strip clubs don't work well together - actually, standing alone BOTH (alcohol AND strip clubs) can ruin relationships and nothing GOOD comes from either one anyway.

I vote You tell no more.  Your shame and Your regret is YOUR price to pay for what You did and hopefully will prevent You from EVER doing such again.  Your Lady should not have to pay a price for what You did - and She will, if You tell Her more.  This is Your burden and should not be Hers.