Hi All,
I have used some drugs throughout my life, but by no means consider myself an expert on recreational drugs or addiction. I hope that someone can help me understand, or give me advice about what's going on with my boyfriend. Early on in our relationship, he openly admitted that he has had problems with addiction, specifically to heroin, in the past. He said that he had tried almost every drug out there, and had spent time in rehab on several occasions. However, he explained that his addiction to heroin had caused problems in past relationships, and that it was too expensive, and therefore, no longer uses the drug regularly. He said that he had relapsed several times, but now just uses heroin occasionally, and can do so without becoming addicted. When he shared all this with me, I told him that I did not have a problem with him using drugs, as long as he didn't hurt me in the process, or worse, hurt himself. I simply asked that he always be honest with me. Since then, I have had suspicions that he has been using drugs (not just heroin), and in some cases lying to me about it. I am respectful of his privacy, and definitely do not want to become paranoid or constantly look for signs and evidence that I am right. I have caught him lying or "stretching the truth" in some cases, which makes me think that a lot more is going on than I am aware of. His drug use really doesn't appear to be problematic. That said, he claims that he has been addicted to heroin and still been able to maintain a job and relatively healthy lifestyle. I am worried, in thinking about a future with him, that once someone is an addict they are always an addict. I have heard this, and done some research on it. I really just don't understand how, after being addicted to heroin, going to rehab, and relapsing, he can just use the drug occasionally without it becoming a problem. Additionally, he regularly uses other drugs, really whatever he can find--pot, prescription pain killers and amphetamines, and methadone. I know that addicts are good liars, but lying is something that I cannot tolerate in a relationship. Does anyone have any thoughts on or experience with this? I guess I just want to know what I'm getting myself into, if I should be worried, and if (without help), drugs will always be a significant part of his life. I would greatly appreciate any outside perspectives that may help.