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Helping my addicted aon after kicking him out

My son has been addicted to drugs for quite some time. Mainly cocaine and pills. I have kicked him out of the house after drug testing him. I told him either rehab or find somewhere else to go. He does not think he has a problem and tells me "he has it under control" He now wants help with groceries, rides to places, and wants to come over just to sleep and shower. Has anyone had experience with this? I think helping him in anyway is still enabling. Any advice?
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3060903 tn?1398565123
You're being tested. He knows he's got a problem. He knows that the majority of people don't function doing what he's doing. II he knows any addicts, he can clearly see that they are on the brink of death and playing a game of Russian Roulette every time they use. I've got many friends that have died of heart attacks doing cocaine. You have to stay tough and refuse to be drawn into conversations with him, until he agrees to rehab. I know it's hard to do, but you have to. I'm looking at this from the perspective of an addict that's gotten clean. I could not begin my recovery until i had no other source of enabling and until i was given an option of rehab. He really doesn't know how lucky he is to have rehab as an option. If he calls again, if there's one thing that you can say to him, that might help, it would be to remind him there are people dying everyday from the same addiction that he is suffering from, and not all have  the option of rehab. |You need to be able to tell him that you are done playing games. that your answer will always be the same, that you are mot able in good conscience to give him anything at all, that would enable him to use drugs, until he agrees to rehab and prove that he's clean and sober.

Im sorry you're going through this. My husband and myself got clean and sober together in '99. When he relapsed, we had a plan in place for  a 90 day rehab, It's vital to stay tough and not back down, and to stick to the plan.

Do you have an Addictions Therapist, or can you get one? It might help you a great deal to stay positive on this journey, and it might be that your son will one day agree to talk to him, and that it will be his entry into rehab.  It's well worth the effort. i will always remember with great fondness, the Addictions Therapist in my life. He was a great source of strength for me in the beginning. I suggest you find one.

Have you checked out Alanon or NarAnon in your area. \They are the coordinated Family Group for the loved ones of an addict. There you may find some friends that can help you hands on , stay firm in your resolve. It's easier when you see that others are going through what you are, so maybe give that a shot. But i think your first stop should be an Addictions Therapist. It will show your son how serious you are. If you are accessing the program, he may be able to see himself access the program more easily.

My thoughts and prayers are with you this Easter weekend. May peace be with you. I always check in here, so i'I'll look for you when i do.

Liz
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